Ive been seeing this SB off and on for 3 years. Love her personality and she's beautiful.....BUT. She's got some no goes that are starting to really bother me. Anybody have a great exit strategy?

Never fails  

If you make it about her or the lack of connection or whatever, there is scope for ample drama and chaos and threats  

But if you got no $$ then she will drop you herself like a hot potato, atleast most of them will

I have a wife so I just say oh oh, I have to cool it, the wife seems suspicious.  You don't need a real wife or girlfriend, you just have to say you do.

I like that. It's not about personal issues.  Just business.

I'm up front about what I want and what I'm willing to provide for it.  After three years the both of you should be beyond the BS and ready to talk more.  

If there's something you want explain it.  Say she's great but you never want to push her into something that's a hard no.  And for you it needs to be a yes.  Make it about you caring for her and not wanting to force her.  It shows how much you value her as a person.  If she is great make her know you appreciate her

END OF MESSAGE

Good idea. She's not happy about what I'm giving her. I'm not happy about her lengthy  "no" list.

My fault I guess. It turns out she is open to the things I want to do. Just not at our agreed upon price. I guess a long time ago I should have said give me a price that includes the following items.....I just put up with it for too long as her body mesmerized me. Lol. Oh well. I guess it's  AMPs for me.

Her low work arrangement went south and she was no longer the sweetie I thought she was. Shocking.

Dude I’ve had a couple nasty blowups when I didn’t like the SBs attitude (starfish, lack of hygiene, rushing thru dates) and I tried to give her feedback when breaking up  

You can’t change ppl is one thing I’ve learned  

And you can’t show them the mirror as they take it on their ego and get angry  

Best to say “it’s not you, it’s me” in classic Seinfeld fashion and walk away peacefully  

There is plenty of other fish in the bowl

“Every man dies, not every man really lives” - Mel Gibson as William Wallace in "Braveheart"  

 
So it is with arrangements.  Eventually, someone or something changes and the arrangement either adapts or dies.  

 
I'd say this one died when you decided you were not getting what you want from her. Once you realized things had to change your only path forward was to negotiate a new arrangement or move on.  In this case, you were necessarily negotiating from a position of weakness, as you wanted more from her for the same (or slightly more) allowance.  As I have mentioned in the past, she has the power to say "yes" while you only have the power to say "no."  

 
From her POV, she (correctly) assumed that you are more replaceable than she is, as you will no doubt incur costs (time and cash) to find a suitable (hopefully better) replacement. But she will likely have a much easier path, given your admission that she is a top-level beauty. She may already have other SD's online who will "pick up the slack" or she likely has at least one SD on deck ready to come out swinging his giant, hard, throbbing - let's call it a "wallet" - and score multiple runs.  (Ok, weak metaphor, but you get the idea...)  

 
If you step back and look at this from a distance you may find she actually did you a favor. If she had agreed to up her BCD game for the same allowance, she would probably soon resent you for "devaluing her worth."  If you had agreed to pony up the additional cash you probably would not have been happy either, as your personal sense of "price vs value" from the arrangement would be out of balance.  

 
Instead, her absence now gives you two huge gifts:  
1. The funds you have budgeted to her are now free to be used elsewhere, and  
2. The time you have budgeted to her can now be used for someone new who will better fulfill your desires.  

 
So use your newly available budget to your advantage. It's time to meet someone new at zero incremental cost.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I honestly am feeling a sense of relief  as I don't have to deal with the feeling of dissatisfaction of her saying no too much.  IMO  we both were feeling resentment which is no way to play in the bowl. I just wanted her to tell me her figure that would turn those no's to yes.  I probably should've pulled the trigger long ago. But I was thinking with the little head.

While it's good you've cleaned house, there is the matter of finding a suitable upgrade. Now you must go back to the bowl and sort through hundreds of profiles and start contacting POTS with the odds slim of finding a decent match in the plethora of scammers, fakers and flakes. I'm facing this also and it's depressing. I'm not giving up but I must say it's a daunting task that used to be somewhat fun it's now turned into a chore. I really hope that Seeking is successful in starting to eliminate the many scammers on the site. Perhaps in time this will encourage more suitable POTS to engage and will allow us all to achieve better matches.

Well she had a wall I couldn't break through for intimacy and she was unhappy with my money. So we were both unhappy.  At my age and finances I'm lucky to live in a city with a very robust AMP market.  Not my favorite. But any port in a storm.  

Im going the AMP route

Whatever floats your boat. I can't see any point personally in going the AMP route. [Asian Massage Parlors] For me, this is about as transactional emotionless disconnected sex as it gets, without any communication on top of that since the girls don't speak English. I never understood the appeal except it being a human substitute for masturbation. I realize you said it's not your first preference but I would think masturbation would be a better alternative than AMPS. It's customized to your internal fantasies and it's free!  

I would agree with you but my minimal recent experiences have been shockingly good. Oddly San Diego has an AMP scene that seems much more lively than other cities I've investigated.

After all, 75% of communication is non-verbal.

 
I have gotten to know several AMP gals quite well over the years, and have had some of the most wonderful times with them, even taking some on overnight excursions.

 
They are great cooks also, for what its worth.

I saw a lady Saturday morning.  Had to use the translator app extensively.  Had a wonderful time.

I must admit I have not had many experiences with AMPS so I will leave this to the experts. It may be something worth looking into if they provide a more personalized experience. It just seems like if you go to one of those places they are all business and want to negotiate every little thing and it just takes all the romance out of it. I want to feel like it's a date with lots of talking and non-sexual stuff going on, getting to know someone, that kind of thing.  

It really depends on the city you live in. San Diego has a wild AMP scene. For now.  I've looked in other areas out of curiosity.  Not even close.

I used the "I lost my job" excuse two weeks ago to break up with an SB I had been seeing since September. She texted me the same day saying that she lost interest in our relationship since I had no timeline for when I could provide sugar again.

The funny thing is she texted me a selfie a few days after telling me she lost interest in our relationship, said she was missing me, and then asked for $500 because she needed to make rent and didn't want to go back on SA because "other SDs treated her like a prostitute."  

I politely stuck to my made-up story about being unable to afford sugaring until I found a new job. Haven't heard from her since.  

Many of these girls are a mess. They change their minds like they change their underwear and can rarely show any kind of reliability or consistency. For some, that is why they sugar because they can't hold it together enough to even hold steady employment.

.. who loves breaking up...  

 
You can always say something like..... "Our journey (Take a pause... ) that we have been on together for last couple of yrs (another short pause) has come to a fork, and its best for us to take different paths.."    

 
Best to break up in person, but texts are also OK these days. Look right into her eyes when saying this (if in person).  Be stoic and even keeled.  

 
Good luck.

stick your finger in her butt....

She actually loves that