I posted this in a thread below but I believe its worth its own thread:
In a reply to a post below, LOCKEDHEART says: "Just be careful...some of these ladies are the mistresses of deception. They will lead you on.. and even tell you they are in love with you...and deny everything when you are no longer useful to them. I don't mean money either. Some are very emotionally needy. Be tender and loving, but never let your feelings be known to them."
In my opinion, many of the emotions that occur in hobbyists, and are talked about on this board very often, such as "love, connection, etc." are the result of SOME (a minority of) providers being unfair by misleading their clients down that slipperly slope.
Its always a two way street and we can't blame the hobbyist for falling for a gorgeous, sexy, younger woman when she may pull the hobbyist along knowingly.
Many of the people on this board try to put all the blame on the hobbyist for "letting this happen" but it is not that simple. There are providers, and I have seen a few like that, who say things that elicit that kind of emotional response from the hobbyist.
Gentlemen, please be careful. Ladies, please realize the power that you have. Fairness and sensitivity to each other is of paramount importance when playing this game of ours. No one should be hurt emotionally on either side of the equation.
Emotions are like dynamite; useful and fun to watch it explode from a distance, but up close, it gets painful.
We can follow the Prime Directive like in Star Trek, and never get involved in the personal affairs of those we hobby with. But just like in Star Trek (especially with Picard) we always find some reason to disobey the Directive for a nobler cause.
Picard once pointed out the the Prime Directive was as much for the protection of the Federation personal as for the protection of the societies that they run into. The same applies here, but I am dubious that we will all follow it to the letter.
constantly wearing a cynical shield to protect me from misguided feelings. I find great distinction in a loving relationship that is rooted in mutual respect, friendship and admiration from one that might be romantically based. However it seems to me that confusion occurs when these two things are discussed because they often share common terms: love, connection, relationship, etc..
With that being said let's not forget that we are adults. Sex is an intimate act and with intimacy our hearts are often innocent bystanders. I will acknowledge that confusion and mixed emotional signals are possible. But each of us as individuals has to eventually take accountability for our own actions and use our minds to evaluate the sitaution. Perhaps we might stumble, make a mistake and experience a broken heart along the way but we live and learn. Maybe there were lies, maybe there was misleading, maybe I misread the situation, maybe my feelings got hurt,etc.? Then again maybe I learned something, maybe I'm better off, maybe I really found a new friend, etc?
I say embrace your feelings, don't run from them. Evaluate them closely for sure but enjoy them. I'd much rather risk wearing the scars of bruised emotions then to always remain at arms length distance from my feelings.
I totally agree. The point I was making is that if the intentions of a provider (or client) are to mislead for whatever reason, that is dishonest and hurtful. However, if a friendship evolves out of mutual respect, admiration, and affection than this is a wonderful thing and can enhance both the provider's and the client's life.
Your point is well taken. "Evaluate [your feelings] them closely for sure but enjoy them."
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