I should know better but even with experience we can make bad judgments..
Matched on Seeking and had a decent M&G over dinner (moderate) without any financial discussion, and she seemed promising and interested. Over text we agreed on a 500 ppm and she said I could send it now. I asked why and said it was for our dinner that day... told her that was not a real date but I would deliver if she did. She said OK but it would be "a nice gesture" if I bought something from her wish list on Seeking. I told her I would think about it.. hesitated and felt it might be a good compromise. The only items on there were around $200 but I eventually bought something, and she thanked me. The next day I ask about our date and she says "I don't think we're a good match."
I told her it was dishonest to ask for a gift and then bail and she said "Exactly my point.. it shouldn't be a big deal."
I told her "My point as well.. you can't just ask for anything because someone has more than you."
Needless to say, I learned a lesson, without too much of a cost -- just another reason to hold firm on this policy.
And another reason some of these gals are not so bright. She could have had a pretty lucrative arrangement over time but was too greedy. It's always possible that was her plan or that she has another in the wings but still....
It's no surprise that we all trip up when we feel most comfortable. No shade on you, Mouche, could have happened to anyone of us.
I've come to realize that it's ok for a POT to want to score cash and gifts ASAP. But bottom line, if her words and actions don't conform with a goal of establishing an ONGOING arrangement, I'm worried.
As for the Seeking wish list, I don't even acknowledge that it exists. If she asks me to look at, let alone buy from the list, I let her know I'm all about cash allowance 1st and will add additional gifts as the mood strikes me. If she presses for cash now, I press for horizontal "pressing" now.
Glad this was a relatively low-cost experience.
Life is good (as long as you stay the fuck away from that Wish List!)
The Cat
You have to watch out for chicks (or online guys) who have no intentions of going behind closed doors. They'll lead you on line a date is going to happen but in the mean time they'll sell you photos or want gifts etc.
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Just have to NOT handcany money in advance.
My entire work career I was paid to perform. Always commissioned sales, never paid to show up. I see this as the same thing. I’ll buy dinner but if there isn’t a performance afterwards then she should be happy with a full tummy.
I’ve made the mistakes of falling for the story to help and she will make it up to me….. I’m still waiting on a handful of make up sessions. If they want money for this and that, I am out. If there is play involved then there is pay involved.
There's a reason why I report these. They get banned pretty quickly
She’ll just make another profile and then no one will no who she is.. I feel like its better to not and out the con artist’s into some kind of database, however archaic. I have all the girls I will never see in my phone as “No Way” and the scams as “Scam Girl”
Not planning to report her, for a couple of reasons:
- As Herb notes, it's probably best to stay off the radar and not get into contentious situations that might draw unwanted attention.
- Also, importantly, I don't think she violated any platform rules. Yes she was completely unethical and asked for a gift under false pretenses, but that's not against the rules on Seeking. We believe she should be putting out but the platform doeesn't care, and they get a cut of anything from the wish list.
Agree with 'Mouche on this. Just imagine how that "Report" might go:
You: "Hi I want to report a POT who bailed on me after we negotiated a fair deal. She asked me to buy her a gift off her wish list before we actually met and I did. Then she dumped me and said we are not a good match. Do something about it, please."
SA Complaints Dept: Reads your complaint and takes notes... he offered her money for sex and she didn't agree... now he wants me to "do something." Well ok I will do something - he's banned from Seeking forever for soliciting prostitution, or a good ol' "Number 12" response as we call it.
Next ticket!
Life is good
The Cat
I agree that reporting someone should really be when there is some gross violation of rules. Strictly speaking, our offering PPM is a violation of the rules. So we have to cut some slack for actual violations, and only hit those where it is an obvious case of theft or fraud. I think the above case could be viewed from some angles as a gift that was not reciprocated. In that view, it's not really illegal. Unethical, probably. So I probably wouldn't report it.
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So far I have only reported one person. They were essentially selling bitcoin. Now that's not fraud per se, and even if it is against Seeking rules, I'd mostly give it a pass. But in this case they got abusive when I said I wouldn't purchase bitcoin for investment, just use it for purchases. The fact that they got super abusive indicated it probably wasn't even a chick, especially not the one in the picture. So that's why I reported her/him/them.
I had a lady show up today. Gobs of makeup, enough perfume to make me cry and an extra 40 pounds. Chatted for a few minutes and I told her this won't work. Paid her a hundred to leave.