at your audience.  It's more convenient to assume that everyone else is like you when you are doing the wrong thing and let's face it most hobbyists are cheating on someone.

Re: Why are men so convinced....

Dear Rae,

There are several factors that may influence the responses you're getting. For one, consider the site where you are posting your query. It's a site that promotes variety in short-term [and sometimes attempted long-term, if you check this board, LOL] strategic mating. I bet if you deleted the "provider" aspect and reasked the question in Ladies Home Journal or Catholic Brotherhood Magazine [made-up title, but you get the point], there would be plenty of answers affirming that yes, some men can be 100% faithful.

If you look at it from a purely statistical viewpoint, 100% "physical infidelity" just doesn't happen. Stats have pegged marital infidelity to between 30-50%. And that would make sense, considering that appx 50% of marriages end up in divorce - a pretty amazing statistic in itself. And still, we're talking about "reported" infidelity. Of course there may be higher rates out there. But 100% - I don't believe it. Few things in this world are 100%, with the exception of death and a few other issues, I suppose. But infidelity surely is not one of them!

I think you need to remove your personal beliefs and attitudes from this one and just go cold-blooded stats-minded. But needless to say, for every quantitative measure, there is a qualitative individual difference among humans [yay!] and so OF COURSE it's not at all strange that a man would be faithful to his girlfriend/SO/wife, regardless of her profession. There are people of all stripes, shades and persuasions out there and everyone has a different take on what fidelity, relationships, work situations, etc. means to him/her.

I wouldn't sweat this one, really,
the Love Goddess

If I were your S.O., I can think of absolutely no logical reason for seeking variety or cheating!  

And that's not just a typical white knight 'puppy' response.....  looking at the greatest string of 10's in performance probably ever strung together on TER reviews......  why would someone go elsewhere for it!

There's always...

the exception to the rule, I myself am not one of them, I just like women too much!..I could be getting the best sex in the world...I know I would still stray....currently me and my SO have the amazing sex, been together for 3 years but still I hobby, no hang ups or drama.

Hi Rae !

TER is not the place to come to conclusions about men in general.... only a specific sampling, which is of course likely to hold the opinion that a man is not going to be faithful.

I understand and believe that your man may well in fact be faithful.

But I do wonder - (and please take no offense)

since you are obviously able to enjoy sex with a variety of men -

why would you not want your SO to enjoy sex with a variety of women?

I don't mean to be personal - ignore at your discretion.

But the reasons I ask is that I simply do not understand associating exclusivity and possessiveness with sexuality. I'm not wired that way. I'd be interested in gaining insight...

Love and Light

Gregory

If you are that positive that you have a man who is that faithful, then you have someone very special in your life, and I can tell you for a fact that, yes it does happen. I was married to my first wife for 17 years, and was 100% faithful. She was the one who wound up married to my best friend. I have been with my second wife for nearly 22 years. Until 3 years ago, I was 100% faithful. Yes, it can and does happen, and it happens long term more than people think it does.

Hang onto what you've got. It sounds pretty special to me, no matter who you are or what you do. Pay them no mind.

Your being a provider has nothing to do with it. I'd tell any woman to expect that her man will cheat on her! Think of every guy you see at work... every one of their wives thinks he'd never cheat. I seem to remember seeing that 75% of men cheat... and [editorializing] 100% want to.

I am not convinced of that. Likely there is a selection effect because of where you are posting.

My participation in the "hobby" is simply because I am lonely and want some sexy companionship from time to time.

I think that more than a few men are wired to feel a deep difference with partners. Sex can be fantastic but only skin deep. Or it can be fantastic and penetrate beyond the marrow of your bones to places you never knew you had, someplace beyond the physical. The latter is a place that is so special it inspires monogamy.

It can happen trust me

"Cheating" is relative to the rules. If you have an open relationship which it seems you do at least in some capacity given your occupation, the odds of that go down quite a bit.

I can tell you that, as a man who was with a provider, almost three years prior to her becoming one, two years during, and almost one more after she retired, it is very possible to stay in a relationship with a provider where trust prevails, and fidelity, such as it is given the demands of your job or whatefer other arrangement you have, is not compromised.

Though we are no longer together, the break up was neither a result of her former career as an escort, or of lies or cheating. Go with your gut and believe that emotional commitments are not impossible from any man, regardless of what you do.

All inclusive statements....

...are to be eschewed...always, never, all, none.

There are (almost) always exceptions to the rule.  Your question is yet another example.

Best,

BS

Every man I know, hobbyist or not, has cheated at one time or another in their life.
just my stats.