Dear lovesickpuppy,

Clearly, you gravitate to women who are emotionally unavailable. Since I haven't met you or discussed your past history in detail, it's impossible to say why this is happening to you.

Will this "regulate itself over time?" It depends. If you expose yourself to different situations and experiences other than the paid sex industry, it's possible that you will expose yourself to women with different professions that do not require creating such strict interpersonal boundaries. On the other hand, it may be that you are drawn primarily to women who, for whatever reason, are not willing to engage on a permanent level.

This issue could have its roots in your own emotional maturity status. Perhaps women who are open and ready for relationships are not as attractive to you, for whatever reason?

Yes, counseling or sex-and-life coaching would be an option. You can do this with me over Internet VOIP [if you don't live in Los Angeles], or you can find a counselor in your area. Either way, the prognosis for self-resolution in this case is not 100% certain.

Something's off here,
The Love Goddess

Now, seek counseling with someone who can help answer the question, why?

You don't give much detail and I'm no shrink, but I'm guessing you might find you're repeating a pattern that has deep roots and may have originated in your childhood.  There's a reason why you feel comfortable in the emotional sadness of a breakup, and I'm guessing it's because it's familiar emotional territory, for whatever reason.

For example, I spent 40 years pretending and denying my relationship pattern with women had anything to do with my troubled relationship with my mother.  Then one day I suddenly realized that it did.  With a little professional help, you may find a similar revelation is lurking in the shadows.

There are a lot of things that could be going on here.  You may find you'd rather feel loss than nothing at all.  Even an intense negative emotion is still feeling something.

I remember being in a relationship when I actually enjoyed it when my GF cried because I realized she actually cared and her feelings for me were intense- prior to that, I wasn't so sure.  Of course, looking back on it I feel terrible, but things can get pretty twisted like that, so best to talk with a professional and get to the bottom of this.

You sound like several guys I've played with. They always get the best songs out of the breakup.