These are very good and prudent questions, Cathay,

Yes, "going out" with a provider to check erectile function is a good way of testing the waters. And yes, you should let the provider know in advance. Many providers are EXCELLENT sexual performers, educators and experts of male penile physiology - in fact, William Masters of Masters and Johnson has openly credited providers for expanding some of his knowledge base in terms of the human sexual response.

Indeed, why deprive yourself? If you get on the No Mas Masturbation plan, it's a good idea to retrain yourself to the touch of a woman by seeing a provider. In the spirit of M&J, engage in sensate focus; start with just caressing and work your way up to intercourse. Select a mature, sophisticated provider who takes her time and has lots of patience. Discuss the issue with her in advance. Highly rated providers are flattered and take their job very seriously if you approach them with this kind of "consulting."

Enjoy the sex therapy,
The Love Goddess

if discussing in advance, it probably goes without saying this should be a provider you already know . . . .