Single, newbie to the sugar bowl.
I’ve had a number of POTs tell me they would not be comfortable meeting at my home for initial dates, which is my preference.
They state “I dont even know you”.
How do you navigate helping them feel safe enough that they’ll visit your home?
Is it common to use a hotel room for the first BCD?
I suppose disclosing real life info would do the trick, but I’m reluctant to do that.
Is it common for the first BCD to be at your home?
I always have them come to my place. I live in a condo, so it’s as safe for them as going to a hotel. If they can’t or won’t, and they otherwise are willing to accept my terms, I would go to a hotel. But I haven’t done that in years. I guess generally they just get a good vibe from our conversations that I’m not dangerous. Never rent a hotel room to meet a newbie until she actually shows up. Too many times they flake. That’s another advantage of them coming to my place. If they flake, I’m not inconvenienced at all.
I would opt for a hotel meet most of the time. Eventually you have to give out your home address. So your real life info is out there in the worst sort of way -- they know where you live.
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Once you get through a first successful BCD at a hotel, I think most will feel comfortable meeting at your home. It's also a good time to ghost them too, if they've misled about anything (such as tonnage.)
The prior comments are correct. Depending on your location you can get a good deal on a day rate (hours will vary) and you only pay when you show up, so that's a good option. In the long run it's probably acceptable to come to your place.
Don't go to a stranger's house BTW.
For me it's a hotel every time. But I travel a great deal and my travels to some cities amount to commutes. I've met several girls for the first time at hotels who clearly say in their profiles that they will not meet anyone for the first time at a hotel. Sometimes they want to meet for a drink in the lobby first, which is perfectly understandable. The ones who insist on "discretion" have just given you a good reason to go to your room shortly after meeting you.
...but as regulars here know, I use my trusty RV! I invite them to meet me somewhere convenient where I can park the RV in a big parking lot, or in a public park. They usually love the idea and in fact, the RV is a cozy comfy spot for a discreet playdate.
But I almost always schedule a M&G at a neutral location (Starbucks is my go to ) first. That gives both of us a chance to get comfortable with each other. And I agree, I won't go to her place for a 1st time BCD, and since most POT's have roommates or live with family, that's not a problem.
The only time I broke that rule was for a POT I met on a webcam site who happened to live nearby. She was rooming with another web cam model, so no stigma issues.
(Ok, I can hear you asking the question! Sadly, no. That did not turn into a spontaneous threesome... sigh...)
Life is good
The Cat