6 days ago I visited a young, beautiful, vivacious, woman. She was catnip, I would have been happy to rub my face against her for an hour.

I feel fortunate to say I am seeing her again soon.

I've been in heaven, only this small voice is dogging me, whispering in my ear "she was only with you for the money" the voice seems the loudest late at night when everything is still.

Today I have started combating the voice by saying "She got what what she wanted" (actually more if you include the tip) It seems to be helping.

Can you suggest any other ways to overcome these negative thoughts?

Thanks

Reality, fortunately, is rarely all of one thing or another.  

Money will always be a part of any relationship with a provider; indeed, money is part of any, or most any, marriage.  Is it just "all about the money?"  Probably not.  If you get along with her and she seems to like you, it's probably genuine.  But it's also a professional relationship.

The fact that you pay her for her company does not mean that genuine feelings can't exist between the two of you.  It can be a bit like being a couple of kids playing in the sandbox...you can have great times and like each other a lot, but you're always in the sandbox.

If you find yourself thinking about her unduly...like all the time...do yourself a favor and see another lady or two.

Dear Swift_Footed_Achilles,

I'm afraid I must be a little dense, because I fail to recognize the "negative thoughts" in your process. The voice telling you that "she was only with you for the money" seems quite neutral, reasonable and not negative at all. Why else would she engage in sexual activity with you? Where in this world can you just call up an unknown woman, have a brief conversation or email exchange, meet up and 15 minutes later be inside her vagina, mouth or other orifice UNLESS you pay money? I don't know any woman who would do that - not even for a movie star or a president (guess who comes to mind, LOL).

Now, did she "get what she wanted?" Yes, she did. She got the money and the tip [totally valid if she provided good service] and thus it was a fair and equitable exchange according to the verbal contract you both had. What is negative about that?

The possibly "negative" thought that comes to mind is that you want something more out of her other than sexual interaction. But what is that? Emotions? You want her to feel the same elation and joy for you that you feel for her? Now, I would relegate that into the same department I found myself when I sat next to Warren Beatty at a benefit about 30 years ago. But while I was wishing and hoping he would pull me closer and say "YOU are the one I've been waiting for all this time," none of it happened. Instead, I made small talk about Reds, Emma Goldman and Lord knows what else. He, in turn, was fulfilling his socio-contractual obligation by sitting in his chair for about an hour and being polite. I remember paying a lot for that privilege; and, on some level, I guess he did it just for the money. But had I been a total ghoul, he could have requested to sit elsewhere. Same with the provider - it's her job and she did it so well that she deserved and got a tip. Nothing negative, only positive. As for expecting more, well...

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
the Love Goddess

I think you have got to realize a few things about this hobby.  People are in it for a few reasons.  The providers like the lifestyle, the money, the travel, etc.  Men are seeing the ladies for intimacy, sex, and looking at beautiful women naked in the flesh. Wow!  What could be more fun than that. Variety is the spice of life.  Remember live for today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never cum.  Finally relax enjoy have fun and be careful.....P.S.  the ladies also like the sex too....

I am not Hugh Grant, either.

I get your point. Well said.

Thanks

what she needs to realize? I thought she was right on, as she typically is. And, if you have a criticism, please make it specific.

I generally just stop doing it.  Honestly, you hired a woman for sex.  You had the sex and paid her for it.  Mission accomplished.  I don't see the problem.

I pay my ATF for sex two or three times a month.  We have a great time for three or four hours and I consider myself lucky that such an amazing woman is willing to share her time and her sexuality with me for mere money.

The only time I ever think about the money is when I am taking it out of the bank...even then I get a little secret smile as the teller hands me the cash and I think of all the amazing things my date and I are going to do before she puts that envelope in her purse, gives me a big hug and heads off until our next visit.

I wish I could explain why the thought that "she is only in it for the money" never crosses my mind but I can't.  We all look at it differently I guess.

hey swifty, i am a new provider but i echo some of the sentiments already expressed.  it is more than possible and probable that the provider liked you and liked the money.  as LG said, the reality is where else can u get sex as easily?  

i am 47 yrs old.  pretty darn old for starting in the biz, but i got my reasons.  

1. i was recently laid off from a 6 figure job and have now turned my nose up at corporate america and the 30 yrs i have spent chained to a desk.  rather be chained to a bed.  

2. after 3 divorces, i am not interested in ever marrying again, and i just dont seem to have many long term romantic relationships.  I think i can also credit the career for that or myself for not really making it a priority.

3.  the civvies i have dated in the last 10 yrs seemed also not to be interested in long term relationships and i had a slew of them that seemed to only contact me for booty calls and never left an envelope on the nightstand LOL.  i've changed that situation ...

4.  I love sex.  and i like exploring.  i've had more fun and attention and plain ole ego build up in the last month than i have ever had.  i feel fabulous.  whodathunk a middleaged overweight grandma could attract so much attention from men of all ilks who wanna have fun.  and my rates arent cheap.  I'm flattered so much i cant tell u.  that in and of itself has made me like the fellows i have seen.  

5.  take it with a grain of salt and see some other providers.  seems to me the hobby is meant to be a no drama zone.  

6.  there is nothing anywhere (ok maybe a pimp behind the door) making an escort see someone she doesnt want to.  i've turned down several just from the tone of their voice or email.  while it may not be conclusive to say the provider 'likes' you personally, it is fairly safe to say she does not 'dislike' you.  or she wouldnt have given good service and surely wouldnt agree to a second date.

sublime 2nd date has opened my eyes to just enjoying a great lady, and not over thinking everything.

LG, I won't forget "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" any time soon. Laser.

houstonsmartgal, you have a great outlook, the guys there are lucky to have you around.

Again thanks all.