I'm new to the Bowl and wondering what some of you veterans would suggest saying in the first message to a POT SB?
What sort of arrangement do you have in mind?
I try to be much more personal than that. I normally make sure my opening introduction includes several things, some of which might seem obvious, but is omitted by most guys. I make sure to introduce myself by name, to call her by name, or most of the time by some variation of the name in her profile, I try to open with a sincere compliment about something in her pics or profile that appeals to me and shows I have actually read her profile, and I NEVER ask about arrangements/money until she does.
Its pretty easy to come up with an introductory message that covers all this ground in about as many words as I am using on this post. I don't like one sentence introductions, or simply saying "hey" as it's a sign you put no thought into it, OTOH I don't want to write a novelette that she will never even finish reading, much less respond to.
I just tried it and got an immediate response! She shared her private photos and wants to me. But, she wants to meet tonight which is suspicious. I will put her off and ask for a meet and greet first.
Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom.
Run like the wind...
but I would run TOWARDS her, not away from her.
It sounds like someone could get laid "tonight" if he wanted to. Sometimes I think some of you guys are afraid of "easy pussy". I have lost track of how many times in the last year or so I have had something similar where the girl wanted to meet "tonight" virtually every time this has happened I have gotten laid, THAT very night.
Are you guys really that scared of success? It's not really that difficult, You set a time and a place, share a drink together and if you like each other, you FUCK.
There are really only two things that can go wrong in this scenario. One is that she catfishes you, in that case you have the right to change your mind, after all you're the man, it's not like she is going to rape you. Two, is that she asks for something completely unreasonable, hey we are all supposed to be grown men here, either you negotiate a deal you can live with, or you walk.
Meet her for a drink close to your home if you are single, or near a convenient hotel if you are not.
Yes, there is a chance that she is a "pro", but is that really so bad unless she wants hooker prices in which case you are out an hour of your time and the price of a couple of drinks. Personally, I would meet her tonight if you are able. Almost every time a POT wanted to meet "tonight" I ended up getting laid, and the very MOST I have ever paid since jumping into the sugar bowl was $500 for an overnight date.
You mention my "experience and wisdom" My advice is to "Go For It" with a few precautions of course. For instance I would NOT go booking a hotel in advance or anything else that commits you to the evening. One of the beauties of the Sugar Bowl is that BOTH parties have the right to say "no" if they simply aren't feeling it. Treat it like a civvie date, but a date where your chances of getting laid on the first date should be around 90% if you play your cards right. The girls who want to meet "tonight" are almost always willing to put out.
shrugs....so far so good on this end. I will take your advice under advisement should this stop panning out. Thx
These girls get 100's of messages. So lead to the point. I say "looking for some adult fun". Then list the NSA, FWB or whatever you want. Also, I have had many respond with "can I come over now and see you" as pretty much their initial response. That does not mean they are pros, I've had first timers (or so they claimed and could be) respond like that. I think they just need to get their pussy wet, e.g. do a middle aged guy for the first time. THey like SA because they get an idea of what the dude looks like as opposed to pros who have to grin and bear it!
Some sugar babies are just escorts playing in a different pond.
Most are not, and most are younger than escorts; about half are college-aged I would guess. They can be skittish, as you might expect. I definitely agree that you should use your own name and her name in the message. The normal protocol is that you suggest a public meeting for coffee, lunch, or dinner to get to know each other (their version of screening). Nothing private usually happens on this date (I had one wonderful exception - for some reason we clicked just through e-mail), but if it does go well, you set up a behind-closed-doors date later.
Don't say anything about money in e-mails. Beyond the normal escort caution about seeming like a prostitute for practical purposes, most potential SBs really resent the idea that they are selling their bodies. They get over it pretty fast, but you don't want to suggest that the first time out of the door.
If a lady's written profile is VERY suggestive that she's open to play and pics are also VRRY sexy and revealing I've had good success in being quite direct in stating right off the bat that I'm interested in meeting for play dates.
With ladies whose written profile and photos suggest to me that she's both classy and somewhat more reserved, I have better success by opening in a more gentlemanly manner along the line offered by Gaga.
Evaluating the distinction between the two basic types of SB's is the key and it takes some trial and error to get good at it and raise your first time at bat average in generating positive responses😋
Even if you have a formula that works, write each one from scratch. The SBs hate it if they feel you are sending out a cut and paste message the same to a million girls. So personalize it, as Gaga has suggested. Take a few phrases or ideas from their profile and reply directly to those things that resonate with you. And tell her something about yourself she can't just read in your profile.
The text about myself is cut and paste and I do a little bit of personalization based on the lady I am responding to. In my cut and paste, I show what a good time I can give the lady and give examples of what I did with other ladies. The examples include travel destinations, fine dining places etc.
Never talk about the allowance in the initial conversations.
I thought "call me Ishmael" was clever, but as it happens, Ishmael's not my name.
I've seen some of you draft choices--none of whom represent the object of Ishmael's quest.
I'm thinking about going with, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Better than "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," for sure.
And these quotes go down how, deliciously, much like the SBs who are hearing them?? You gentlemen are showing your age! How is it that we get along so well with these 20-somethings, really? You all say it's the DATY, yes, but I agree with some it's much more than that, along the lines of the maturity and thoughtfulness with which we treat these girls. And, of course, we're seeing only the subset who are disposed to disregarding, or filtering positively, that we are older than their fathers (;
Amazingly enough (I still can't believe it), one of the three I am seeing now is an Ivey coed, she reads medieval French, and is from a well-known literary family. She quite possibly would get all of these lines. My other two are both college grads and could maybe get one, at best, though maybe the Slavic studies could surprise and get more.
I also can't believe that I am trying to see all three once a week. It is not really all that good for my health/sleep/wallet, though a lot of fun.
Thankfully, two of them don't seem to really need the money all that much, their parents do take care of them pretty well. In fact, I wonder if the Ivy woman shouldn't be paying me! **** I find a huge difference in the experience between seeing the women who are primarily motivated by the money and those that actually might be in it for the sex as much as or (gasp) more than the money. When I screen the initial exchanges, I pay attention to how the woman is set up in life, and how she plays the motivations are represented.
And I'd be interested in hearing how it went if any of you actually met your SB's family, given the situation where the arrangement moved toward a GF thing with limits. Should probably start a new thread for this discussion, of course.
Pretty sure your Slavic studies major will get the third one, anyway.
And for my part, I generally don't go after 20-somethings - precisely because of the lack of connection. A woman in her 30s to mid-40s seems to be my sweet spot. By which time she's had the opportunity to read a few books.
Plus One. Many times over. I find an intellectual connection is a first order condition for multiple dates.
I love the 21 YOs who profess an ability to give counsel and advice. Their heart is in the right place, but seriously.....
Wanna Fuck? You guys mean that doesn’t work?