I appreciate all the comments and suggestions, thanks. So far I have not made any definite plans, but I am still talking with a few about a fly in. With one of them we actually got as far as agreeing on length of stay, allowance, and which airline to use. I'll let y'all know if anything actually cums of it!
I continue to get favorited by girls in distant cities on a fairly regular basis. It's fairly easy to eliminate the ones that are obvious scammers (although sometimes I'll play along just to waste their time) . And also to eliminate those I'm simply not interested in, even if they were local. That still leaves quite a few seemingly genuine potentials.
Yesterday, for example, I was favorited by a lovely GND type from Fort Worth. We DMd onsite, then moved to texting. She says she'd be open to a fly-in arrangement.
I'm not interested in flying to meet a stranger. BTDT, sometimes with great success, but I find it stressful. So unless she's willing to fly to my location for our first visit, I'll pass. That said, I'd be willing to do that if:
1. She lets me make the travel arrangements. I want to use my free flyer miles.
2. She was willing to stay at least 2 nights
3. Her allowance request seemed reasonable
4. She gave every indication of truly wanting some BCD fun.
5. And the hard-to-define "vibe" is good
The commitment on my end would require driving an hour to get to the nearest airport to pick her up and then to drop her off. Buying her plane tickets (using miles, so no expense there), and paying for 2 nights in a hotel, food, entertainments, and other incidentals while she's here. And her allowance.
It all seems like a bit much, esp when compared to the ease of dating one of my wonderful local SBs, but I love the variety and the excitement, so I'd actually be willing to do a fly-in if I found the right girl. I fantasize about establishing an arrangement with a SB in a distant city and taking turns to visit each other, maybe every month or two.
Problem is, trying to arrange a fly-in has always fallen apart due to one of the 5 factors listed above. Moreover I have to wonder why a girl in a big city like Dallas/Ft. Worth, with thousands of local guys available, would be browsing profiles hundreds of miles away and favoriting me. So I've never actually done it. Have you? Has it worked out?
I've done this in the past. And I'd day 50% of them went as expected, while the other half went wildly wrong.
For the fly-ins that worked, all of them were SB's I'd previously dated (aka went BCD) and maintained semi-regular contact. That includes when I flew to her or when she flew to me. However, my history with first time meetings, whether me flying to them, or them flying to me, almost never worked out.
I get your cost/risk analysis however you may want to add a few more dynamics to your formula:
1. Using you air miles does have worth/cost. Once you redeem miles for her, you cannot use them for anything (or anyone) else except for certain corner cases. In other words, air miles are a form of cash that can only be spent on airfare.
2. Consider that there are more outcomes than she shows up or does not show up.
- Once she has a ticket in her name, she can potentially change her flight day, time AND/OR destination.
- She could "accidentally" miss her flight, requiring you to incur sometimes significant additional costs to rebook.
- She could board the flight but evade you at the destination airport and go elsewhere to pursue some other objectives.
NOTE: All three of these are real outcomes from my past experiences.
3. Until you actually get penetration, you really don't know if she will keep her promise of BCD, length of stay, etc. If you apply your typical post-M&G flake rate, you may not like the odds of success when you have more on the line than just the drive time to the major city near you.
My suggestion: Plan a trip to her city long enough to meet her AND at least 2 other SB's over a 3- or 4-day trip. That will improve your odds to get at least one satisfactory BCD out of the adventure. And on the upside, it could provide multiple SB's to be considered for fly-to-you dates in the future. (Hmm... wonder of there is a threesome opp there as well...? Foursome?!?)
Life is good
The Cat
Excellent advice from The Cat. The 3-4 day trip with more than one date has always worked for me.
-- Modified on 1/6/2026 2:43:52 PM
What does she have that you can't get locally? Is she just that hot? Is this a one time bucket list thing or you think this can be an every month or two gig?
But only because there is so many available locally why bother
One thing I’d say is definitely have a video call to verify she is real and looks like what you expect
This is a great idea for obvious reasons.
However, seeing her on video chat does not guarantee zero risk. I've had video chats that were carefully staged (or not so carefully while I didn't know what to look for) and ended up with no-shows, last second demands for pre-BCD cash, and in one case, I lost $400 to a cash-dash from my house.
If you agree to a video chat, be sure to look carefully not only at her face and body (as much as possible) but look at what's in the background as well. Some of the things I've missed in the past (Not all on the same chat):
1. She said she would drive to my place in her car - but in the vid from her car I missed that she was in the passenger seat.
2. She said that she lived in an apartment, but I could see the hotel-style signs on the inside of her front door.
3. She said she lived in my area, but I could see a Euro-style power outlet on the wall behind her.
4. She said she was in my area during our 9:00 pm chat, but I could see sunshine and trees through her window.
And of course, listen carefully as well. Look for inconsistencies in what she says vs what you know. LA is a huge place. And looking at it from google maps from a different state or country, you might think that Alhambra is just a lazy 15-minute drive to Woodland Hills. It is not.
Life is good
The Cat
Precisely like you mentioned, it's mostly about variety.
I've done a number of Las Vegas girls, bc unlike people often imagine, they are not only beautiful, but often very conservative.
Despite the numerous points you mentioned (all easily overcome) the most basic, and often overlooked, is the cost of her "entertainment." Typically she wants room service, spa treatment, and something more than a budget hotel. Think $400 per day, plus. Obviously, the costs will easily spiral up if shopping and attendance at special events is included.
Oh, btw, don't waste your airline miles on domestic travel: strictly use them for international.
I would rather be busy, than bored. Right now I am bored. I will be traveling to Chicago to make new friends this month. We are all very different. I love traveling to make new friends. I prefer to entertain one lucky individual. I have always had nothing, but great experiences.
I tried to set this up once, and decided it was too much work/trouble/risk for the reward. I had a similar plan as you, to use air miles. Because I travel so much for work, I have lots to spend. It went south just trying to get the video call setup. We set a time and when it texted to confirm the time that day, she asked to change the time saying she had to go to a dinner with friends and wasn't sure when she could do the call. We finally set on a time. When the time came, I logged into the call. When she didn't show after about 10 minutes, I used the call software to "call her into the meeting". That was followed by a terse message sent via text that said she was still at her group dinner function and couldn't log on. The attitude in the text message was enough for me to think this was not going to work. So I bagged it.
I appreciate all the comments and suggestions, thanks. So far I have not made any definite plans, but I am still talking with a few about a fly in. With one of them we actually got as far as agreeing on length of stay, allowance, and which airline to use. I'll let y'all know if anything actually cums of it!
you could use your miles and hotel points to fly to other destinations and if you happen to visit other countries close by on your biz trips; your options could expand exponentially.
I’m self conscious about weighing in because I’ve laid out my personal formula for fly-ins a few times.
Bottom line: I advance nothing; she pays her own flight cost; she agrees that I will reimburse her flight cost at the end of the engagement.
Fly-ins aren’t that important to me, which is why I maintain pretty strict terms. I’ve had less than a full handful of fly-ins (except for the Asian stewardess who could fly to me almost at will at no cost to either of us).
In each case she really, really wanted to be with me, or she really wanted to visit whatever city I was in with free meals and lodging for her.
I simply told her (them) that I was happy to cover all costs on the ground (crazy shopping excepted) but I wasn’t going to buy her plane tickets. She would fly herself to me, be a good girl, and I would reimburse her in cash for her round trip before she left.
Obviously she would have to trust me a lot. And she would have to have means beyond some of the broke sugar babies. The fly-in was always her idea, not mine.
This is not the usual fly-in situation, nor is it perfectly responsive to Papa Sweet’s post. But it is another way to think about fly-ins. Let it be her idea, and give her a very good reason to be a very good girl while she’s with you.
Thanks, good suggestions. I was thinking of using my free flyer miles to buy her a ticket. Thus I could provide, but at zero out of pocket cost. But your idea creates a much greater incentive for her to be a good girl when she visits you!