I'm looking for advice if you guys can spare it. If you've been following my exploits, I'm new to the Sugar bowl, had several dates but none went BCD. Then finally one did...and she's pretty much perfect. She's hot, in her early 30s, has a steady job and goes to school. Anyway, she's looking for one guy that she can see once a week. I wasn't sure if I was that guy..I just told her I didn't know if I was that guy, and like any relationship, let's just start meeting and see how it goes. So we've met three times in the last month and all is well. We actually did meet a fourth time, but that was on a Sunday when she had asked me to come over to fix her dryer. I did come over, ordered the part to fix the dryer, bought most of lunch - didn't expect to go BCD but we did- and I didn't pay other than the money for the part and lunch. Anyway, just told her this week that I needed a two-week break due to financial issues...which was true. She then got pissed, really pissed, told me I took advantage of her on that Sunday when i fixed the dryer...honestly, it was she who wanted to fuck. Anyway, I like her, I still want to see her but I want to see other girls too. So I'd be up for seeing her once a month...I guess i'm a fucking monger at heart. I have slept with one more SB and it took that to let me know that yes, I want a variety. Anyway, how can I talk about this with her? I'm assuming several of you have had this conversation. "i want to see you but not as often because I want to see others. "  what's the advice here? Thank you in advance.

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That said, I don't necessarily believe in "100% full disclosure" in some cases either. lol

 
I don't see any point in telling SB's that you don't want to see them too often in order to see other women. I just see NOTHING to be gained with that revelation. Do you honestly believe that the SB's who are only available once a week aren't often juggling a bunch of other SB's without telling you? Especially the ones who live rather well, only see you once a week, but have no other visible means of support. I am a 100% believer in "Don't ask, don't tell"

 
Here is my advice along with a question for you. First off, variety is GREAT, I try to have a rotation of at least 4-5 SB's at all times and I am constantly looking for replacements for the ones I lose by attrition, but I NEVER tell any of them I have to limit our visits in order to see other women, that's just plain DUMB IMHO. You can claim you can't afford more visits, a busy work schedule, or any of a thousand different reasons why you can't see them more often, but whatever you do, do NOT tell them you are giving "their money" (this is how they think) to some other woman.  

 
Now for my question, if this other SB is getting pissed, "really pissed" at you, why do you still want to see her? If I wanted to give women the right to get pissed at me I'd get a GF or even worse a wife. lol

 
Let me put it this way, when dealing with hookers, aside from being clean, respectful etc you rarely have to take their "feelings" into consideration. That is not the case in the Sugar World. If you want these young women who don't self identify as hookers to enthusiastically jump into bed with you for a few hundred bucks you are going to have to take into consideration their FEELINGS. Sorry, but you can't treat an SB like a hooker and be successful in most cases

I always bring up the subject of exclusivity before meeting a prospective SB.  Always!  I make it crystal clear I am neither seeking nor offering anything exclusive.  There may be others in my life just as there may be in hers.  The spin I put on this is that I wo0uld not want to limit their freedom or independence in any way.  So I'm never going to become controlling or possessive.  The upside is that they know I'll bail if they become clingy or possessive or controlling.  The arrangements that work for me are once or twice a month, and that seems to suit the girls just fine.  It lets all of us enjoy multiple partners.

So you boxed yourself in by not discussing this before dating her several times in close succession and letting her think you were going to be there for her whenever she wants.  Big mistake. But having done so, try to explain yourself now and if it works, fine, if not, move on.

Gambler has more experience than most so I tremble at the though of contradicting him.  But I do believe in real honesty with these lovely young women. I've had so much fun with my SBs over the years discussing the men they are dating and the women I'm dating. It's great fun learning about the sugar bowl from their point of view.  And it makes me happy to know they can trust me so much.  I especially enjoy it when they tell me what a jerk or what an asshole some guy behaving badly is!  Makes me feel far superior and we have so much fun laughing about it.  they tend to confide in  me and ask for my advice.  

I've got one SB right now who has so many other SDs I can't keep them all straight.  But when she's in town she never fails to visit me and fuck my brains out.  Another sweet college girl told me early in our arrangement that her goal was to have about 4, maybe 5 SDs and rotate them so she wouldn't have to get a crappy job while she was in school.  Works for me! She knows I have an similar number of SBs.  She's always very appreciative of my time and money and I'm even more appreciative of her affection and pussy.  She likes the variety as much as I do, so what's the downside?

Last year I encountered exactly one SB who insisted she only was dating me, when I happen to know for a fact she was dating at least 3 other guys!  I never contradicted her or got in her face about it.  But I dropped her.  I just don't care for that level of deceit.

How many other guys a girl is seeing besides me, as long as there's not another naked guy in the room the same time as me.  The sugar-bowl is just another form of P4P, and in my experience dealing with women selling sex, complete honesty usually just leads to more personal questions.  When I'm paying for sex, I don't like to tell a sex worker too much about myself unless we have morphed into a real outside BF-GF relationship, which means I'm not paying her anymore.  

 
I have tried the sugar-bowl off and on for  ten years, and have had more disappointments than successes.  You're older than me, and presumably very experienced I this area.  If you say complete honesty is what makes it work for you, then I think it would be worth it for me to give it a try as soon as I'm 72 also.  

-- Modified on 2/14/2019 3:08:33 PM

I know some guys brag about getting sessions for free on occasion (or often.)   In this case your SB let you know later that it wasn't free and she was resentful.   I suspect many SB's are secretly resentful when a freebie isn't rewarded in some manner.   I think it is living dangerously to be seeing a resentful SB.  

I always pay.  (BTW wives and girlfriends are much more expensive, in the long run.)  There is one variable ... if they host they get the money that would have gone for a hotel room.  So my outlay is pretty much constant and they never get shortchanged.    A few have asked for more money ... I call them ex's.

One is like yours, get it out of the way early, which is the mature and honest way of dealing with it.

 

and the other is my way, which is to do your best to NEVER have the conversation at all. I am 100% in the "don't ask, don't tell" camp. I agree with CDL, as long as there aren't any other guys in sight, I don't really care what she does when I am not around. I would actually PREFER she have other guys in her life, hopefully helping to support her so she isn't looking to me to pay all her bills. lol

 
The OP's mistake (or at least his biggest one THIS time) wasn't telling her that he wanted to see other girls, it was telling her he was going to have to cut back HER money in order to do so. THAT was dumb, dumb, dumb, especially after she gave him a freebie, which I am sure she expected to at least be appreciated and hopefully rewarded for on a subsequent visit.

 
One other difference in the way we do this is our frequency. Your idea of seeing each girl once or twice a month to allow for variety is a sound one, but I have a bigger appetite than most. I like having a "go to" girl or two that I see multiple times per week, but even if I have two of those kind of girls that I see twice a week, that only fills up 4 days a week, leaving me at least two more days I need to fill, reserving one day a week for "rest" of course. lol

 
I know most of the girls I see multiple times a weeks "probably" think they are the only one I am seeing. I never make such claims, but I never try to disabuse them from that assumption either. I just don't see any benefit to "telling all" it's like telling a woman your true "number" What's to be gained by telling  a girl that she is the 4,345th woman you have had sex with? NO woman, (well at least almost NO woman) wants to know that they guy she is giving herself to has had such a long line of women before it. Even hookers tend to be turned off by "high volume" guys.

Lol, wish I had your stamina. The mind is still willing but since moving to Texas this last fall the body ain’t able to keep up. Lol

Thank you all for the advice. GaGa, I haven't  talked about any of this with her yet. She has told me she would prefer one SD that she sees once a week and is consistent. I haven't told her I'm that guy yet, we just started seeing each other. I could be wrong but I don't think she has another SD at this point, and we spend far too much time texting each  other. I assume this is the difference between escorts and SBs. Both my current sugar babies are consistently texting me, a couple of times a day. The main one has a full-time job - i just don't see her doing that with three or four  SDs...but maybe. Anyway, when i told her i needed a break, she said she was going to look for another SD. I was actually happy about it, but pretended I was ambivalent. She lives alone and hosts in a pretty crowded residential area - I can't imagine she wants her neighbors to see a bunch of older guys going in and out of her home. Anyway, she didn't contact me for a few days after we separated last...she was pissed...but the friendly, "i miss you" e-mails started back soon thereafter. Our two week break is up so we're supposed to get together this week, so I will play it by ear. I'm planning on being honest, but maybe I'll just say I would like to see her once or twice a month and see how she responds. I will offer reasons if she asks, but she may not. She may have found another guy...or girl...in the interim. Thanks again everyone for the advice. it's always priceless.