Started in another thread.  Her and I have been together for close to three years.  Met on seeking.  Started casual, she knew I was seeing other women.  Both of us work in different careers that have strange hours and requirements.  I'm in sales and she does a lot of different things.  At first, we just hooked up. Had fun.  That was it.  But after a year I asked her to be more consistent as we could.  So, instead of allowance I pay her rent.  Idea was a date a week or overnights if we had to skip a week or two.  She knew my.other long term SB that was stealing from me so there was little drama.

A year ago, the other SB melted down, I found out she was stealing, was married and was a pro ho.  She then tried to burn my main SB to the ground and failed miserably.  I think she's in jail now too.  

This caused a lot of drama with the one I'm still with.  But we sat down for dinner in December, agreed to put all of it behind us and go forward.  It's been amazing since then.  She told her entire family about me.  They all love me, even the age gap.  Her mom was 100% behind her dating someone older.  

A few weeks ago. She called me her husband when we were talking causally.  I didn't make much of it.  Last week she made a point of her SA account being deleted and asked if I was seeing anyone else.  I told her only one but we had only been out a few times and she's flaky (truth).  This weekend, she brought up our future and wanting to get married.  She decided she doesn't want kids and likes the idea of us traveling the world together.  She's cool with being the hot stepmom and aunt.  I told her she was amazing and I can see that too.

I know it happens, but I've only ever met one couple that started with this age gap that ended in marriage.  It lasted till he died and now she just chills in her 70s.  She's close to her step kids and did have a child with her husband.  So she is the grandma.

Anyone else hear stories like this?  I really don't want to try dating again in my 60s if we don't go the distance.

I've been married twice and divorced once.  When chicks decide to check out, they also decide to cash out.  
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43% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second, and 73% of third.  Average length of marriage before divorce is 8 years.
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Once you are married, you will be financially responsible for her until one of you dies, even if you get divorced.  You can also get jammed up unmarried with some palimony laws.
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Get the best prenup you can.  See is she balks at a prenup.

Yeah. That's gonna happen.  I'm not doing it without one.  And with her career it would make sense for her as well since she has the potential to make a lot as well.  Since I pay her rent we have a shared bank account to pay the bills of the place.  She pays utilities and we can both see the in and out.  It would stay that way.  Pay bills together, save money for joint purchases and vacations and our own money is ours after that.  

It's a lot to consider.  Don't think I'm jumping into a wedding right away.  We have time since she doesn't want kids

I've known three couples with signifcant age differences. All three were happy unions. There seemed to be a kind of synergy where the young lady ended up having wisdom and maturity beyond her years... and the older gent was infused with the youthful energy of his younger partner. The only downside was when the gent had aged to the point his younger wife was primarily a caregiver. In two of the three relationships, the wife gracefully cared for him until the end.  In the third, not so much. His daughter ended up stepping in and caring for her dad.

Never been married. Never want to get married (long story... won't bore anyone with it), so I'm going into this thread with an obvious bias...  

 
As mentioned in a previous reply, a prenup, drafted by your attorney, and reviewed and approved by her attorney is absolutely required to protect you and her  

 
Beyond that, I will only suggest you thoughtfully consider the following question before you drop several thousand on a rock:  

 
What can you do while married that you cannot do while still single?  
Have kids?  
Share funds for common expenses?  
Travel?
Co-own property, cars, other expensive assists?
Have sex?  
Medically/psychologically incapacitated care, or post-death estate executor/management?  
Family events?
Share health insurance coverage?
What else?  

 
I submit that all of these can be done without being married, though you may need to draw up legal docs like a power of attorney or living trusts to ensure each of you have the rights and powers you agree to have.  

 
Can you do everything and anything you want to do together without being married?  If yes, why get married and potentially obligate yourself to perpetual monetary support if (after) you split up?  

 
Not a comfortable discussion, I know. But your trusted professional service providers (lawyer, tax expert, doctor, investment manager, etc.) can give you an unbiased review of what you get and lose from marriage within their area of expertise. You really want to have those discussions before you stand at the altar.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Wish I had one now.

Netnoy

I would advise you listen to Herb on this one and do the due diligence on a prenup to protect both yourself and your partner. Love often blinds us to the realities of what can happen in an uncertain future which is the potential for disaster. Personally, I believe that marriage can work but it rarely does even in the best of circumstances. Better to enjoy one another as single and unwed. You can still be committed to one another without the rock and paper.

Definitely going with a solid prenup.  We already have a shared account that pays for common bills.  Her income is going up so I'll actually be paying less.  She wants me to save it.  She is starting a career with high income potential as well.  She does not want to be just arm candy all her life.  

Sex, travel, living together are all in the cards.  Do we need to be married for that? No.

Insurance, sadly, this is the biggest one.  Since we are both self-employed it's expensive.  And a lot cheaper if we have one plan as a couple.

Her dad is a lot older than her mom.  So her mom gets it and was all for it.  Even though they are not together, her mom talks about how she wanted to care for her dad in his old age.  So that stuck.  24 year age gap is not a big deal to her, definitely not to me!  

She doesn't want kids, I already have them so I'm fine with no more.  She said it herself, she wants to be the hot stepmom and aunt.  

These are all things to talk about with her.  We aren't rushing to anything.  At least I'm not.  If she wanted kids then it would be a different story, like how old I'll be when they graduate.....  I can't imagine being 75 trying to deal with an out of control 18 year old.

Netnoy, if I've read your posts properly and done the math right, you're 57 and she's 33.  Correct?  That's not really a huge age gap imo.  But it will become more real as you both age, and you are obviously aware of that.  Those who know me know I'm a big advocate of marriage.  My awesome wife and I decided before we got married that traditional sexually exclusive monogamy was not something either of us wanted.  It has worked really well for us with zero drama, jealousy or deceit.  We've been married 53 years, gotta be some sorta record in the annals of successful open/ENM/poly marriages.  Our love and bond is stronger every year.  She loves knowing I'm having fun with my SBs, and I love knowing she's having fun with her BFs.  

On the other hand,  I do wonder sometimes what will happen when one of us dies.  If she were gone, would I want to remarry?  I don't think so.  Yes, I have had fantasies about marrying one or two of my unicorns if my circumstances were different.  But I'm very self sufficient now,  much less needy than I was when I was young, financially secure and emotionally secure.  I think I'd enjoy living alone and dating my SBs from time to time for the splendid benefits they bring into my life.  But I would not want the hassle and profound implications of marrying a younger woman.  Just my $.02