I have been gone from it a while, but seem to breaking cardinal sins since trying to get back.
Now that one must be careful in phrasing answers to the standard question on SA "So what's your budget / allowance?" I 'd like to know if you have a good answer that would pass the SA bot censors. Normally I would ask to go to text but sometimes I'd rather not do that if the question is the first or second message from the POT
and not just because of any worries about getting kicked off of SA, which of course is also a VERY good reason not to give a specific dollar amount, especially a PPM rate which will almost certainly get you kicked off if SA Admin finds out about it.
Personally, I try my absolute best to not discuss allowance until AFTER we have met in person. After all the "ten" in the pics might turn out to be a "six" in person and if you have already locked yourself into a price you have nowhere to go except to simply walk away completely.
If cornered, and she DEMANDS to know my "budget" I will turn the question around and ask her if "she has a particular number in mind?" ALWAYS make her go first, NEVER negotiate against yourself, not to mention that in the very unlikely event that you end talking to LE, it's she who propositioned you, not the other way around. "Agreeing" to a price is not legally an act of solicitation, making an "offer" most definitely is solicitation in the eyes of the law if it ever came to that. Yes, the odds are minute that you will EVER end up talking to a cop on SA, but it still doesn't hurt to use common sense things you have learned in the hooker world.
The seller always sets the price in any form of business.
Imagine playing a game of poker (Which is, after all, the game we play.) and asking the other players: So, what do you think I should bet?
I have been gone from it a while, but seem to breaking cardinal sins since trying to get back.
That said, in this post FOSTA/SESTA environment, the sugar sites, Seeking.Com in particular, are very cognizant of their rather tenuous legal standing and they take rapid and severe steps to remove anyone from the site for using "hookerlike" language on the site, and that goes for the babies and the daddies alike. Using terms that seem innocent enough like "PPM" will most definitely get you kicked off of Seeking right now, as will other overt terms regarding "sex for money"
My advice, and the advice of many others, is to move any discussion of allowance, especially if such allowance is based on each visit and not each week or month, OFF of the Seeking platform, and only discuss such matters in detail either by text/email or in person.
I don’t answer that question in text or through SA but I do offer to meet at a nice place for lunch or dinner. After an hour or two with a POT over a meal, I either pass (nice to meet you and leave), or let her know I would like to see her again in an intimate setting. If she is comfortable, I let her know my number. Then we either agree, negotiate or disagree. Either way, I’m OK.
I don’t meet with any POTs that demand a number first.
Myskyns
in the past year or so by just saying: "well you know we are not supposed to discuss money on this website but in the past I've always favored a "$$" allowance.
Usually I quote 500 per week but then throw in some ambiguous language of an expectation of 2x per week with an appropriate adjustment for lesser frequencies.
OTOH, I've had little long term satisfaction with girls who demand to know up front some dollar amount.
With the right girls it just seems that talking about the financial aspects rarely surfaces until after meeting them.
"Its premature to discuss a budget until we meet for coffee and lunch and see if we both want to do this." If they don't want to meet on spec then I know they are too immature for me and are NOT thinking about an on-going arrangement. If they still don't understand, then I am a little more blunt, by saying, "You are the seller and I am the buyer, so its up to you to size me up when we meet, persuade me that I am the right guy for you, and then decide what it will take to close the deal. You make your proposal after we talk a little and I will say yes or no." This has the effect of making them cautious about coming in too high. They need to embrace reality, and not fantasize about what they dream for in a perfect world. It also means I don't spin my wheels with a girl that is wrong for me from the get-go.
Great answer!
A POT SB pushing early for a number is generally a red/yellow flag for me, depending on the context.
In general, it tells me she is looking for a fast hookup at high value and she's probably got 5 or 6 other POT SD's on the line at the same time. She'll pick the highest bidder and either ghost me (because I will NOT be the highest) or will put me on ice for a few days to a week while she works down her list.
That behavior doesn't bother me, if that's how she wants to work the sugar market. No judgement from me. But it's not what I'm looking for anyway, so I don't mind self-removing me from consideration.
The way I usually handle it is to ignore or deflect the question (as GaGa does) and move the discussion to text, or to a M&G. I will never quote a number or even details of what a typical meetup looks like, or frequency of meets will be on the site.
I've had SB's who tell me their last SD was providing $2k, $3K or more a month. But once I meet them and I turn on the authentic charm, they usually end up comfortable taking a much smaller PPM for $300-$400, meeting 2-3 times a month. (This is LA, after all.) But this does run the risk of pricing yourself out of range for a POT unicorn.
Last, thought: As I mentioned above, it's important to understand the context of why she asks so soon. If she says it comes from past baggage of low-ball offers or "time wasters" then it may be her method to filter poor opportunities. If it's just her GPS showing through, then knowing that upfront will save me the wasted effort.
Forgot my tag line.
Life is good
The Cat
I used to prefer discussing money before any meetup to save myself the frustration of meeting someone I was very attracted to who would not budge on a price I considered too high. After a couple of those experiences I decided I was safer establishing the expectation$$ first, before meeting. but that's not a good practice anymore, for all the reasons already discussed. And frankly, I'm not as desperate for pussy as I once was. My methods on SA work so well for me these days that I am literally turning away offers from hotties I would have gobbled up in the past simply because I just don't have enough time to play with them all. So now I whether move the discussion of $$ to text, or wait until we meet in person. With all due respect to Gaga's negotiating techniques, I almost always mention my "gift" amount first, or when they ask. My offer is always $200 per date. If they don't like it I explain my poly marriage and how I've agreed with my wife to only spend that much, and that usually works. Occasionally I meet someone so hot I'll go to $250. Since my gift$ are low and I know what I can afford I don't mind avoiding the negotiating techniques Gaga suggests. This year I've met exactly one SB who insisted on $400 so I gave her a pass. All the others have agreed to 200, or 250. And there have been SO MANY others! I just made a list of the SBs in my active rotation, plus those I haven't seen in a while who I feel certain would say yes if I asked for a date and came up with a current total of 17. I don't doubt that my gift amounts would probably not work in bigger cities and more affluent markets. But the methods would be the same I suspect.