old fart advice
Posted by ImReadyRU, 12/21/2009 4:41:35 PM
I am married but I do not get the institution of marriage anymore. I am pro same sex marriage but only if it is the tax benefits they seek. In reality they are not that much over a lifetime. I got married because I thought society and friends thought that is what one did! I was wrong..
Personally you need to test drive your lady for at least a year or more or a lifetime. She may fart in bed or pick her toes or well the other annoying things. Then there is the hardest question of all... Can or will you sill love her 20 years from now? People do change and 20 years from now if you want a divorce well kiss your life savings goodbye. There is something about that piece of paper that makes you try harder when times are tough... But it also leads to the hobby when there is too much to loose. In my marriage I came into the relationship with way more assets, made way more money. In return she emotionally supported me and loved me, and in return I gave up a few things for her too. But 20 years later I want to do those things I gave up. I am trapped. Age is a bitch!
I realize a true love does not need a piece of paper to commit to another. The hard question for anyone who wants marriage is do they believe you love them as much without the piece of paper as with?
Our society has twisted sex, marriage and cohabitation into a confusing thing. So make no mistake marriage is an institution and has nothing to do with love.
Oh yeah what do you get from society for getting that piece of paper. An acknowledgment that it is ok to live together and have sex and produce babies? BFD!
Now that I am having a great time with my gf and things are going beyond well. And if everything keeps going well I could seriously see her as a potential wife and mother. Now I am not saying I am proposing tomorrow or anytime soon.
Is there a real norm for how long to wait to propose, I can feel the love growing and we are extremely happy together and going to move in together in a couple months probably by February. I just wonder how long to wait I see some people never get married, some propse 3 months after they meet(not me), and some wait a few years.
Her sister has been in a committed relationship for over and year and she keeps wondering when he is going to propose. So mainly I guess my question would be is there really a right time frame? I know I may catch some flack and may seem like an immature question but just wanna know for the future.
Thanks for your time
Dear hawk5686,
There is no real norm for how long to wait to propose. There are people who get married after 5 days together and there are people who get married after 5 years. Some inner hunch as to the response would be desirable - after all, no one likes to hear a "no" after such a sensitive question.
These matters are so personal and so individual that any advice is rather inconsequential unless you know the detailed history and current in-depth state of mind of both parties.
And just remember - some people never get married and they live happily ever after. Celebrities like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell come to mind; they have been together for over two decades without tying the knot.
Have fun proposing and have a wonderful life together,
The Love Goddess
You know the guy- the totally clueless one who stages some grand gesture in public, usually at a sporting event, to guilt his GF into marrying him even though the relationship isn't going in that direction.
Attempts at humor aside, most women give you some pretty big signs as to when they think it's time to take the next step in a relationship. But the fact that you still think it's the guy that decides, well, that's just sweet. But I digress.
Men may rule the TV remote control, but nine out of 10 women are in firm control of the relationship and how it's progressing. Stay tuned-in to the signals your girlfriend is sending regarding were she thinks the relationship is and when, or IF, she's ready to take the next step.
If you aren't able to read those signs, you may not understand her and the status of relationship well enough to propose marriage. LIke I said, you don't want to be the clueless bastard that turns halftime into a national exhibition of how little he actually knows about his girlfriend.
old fart advice
Posted by ImReadyRU, 12/21/2009 4:41:35 PM
I am married but I do not get the institution of marriage anymore. I am pro same sex marriage but only if it is the tax benefits they seek. In reality they are not that much over a lifetime. I got married because I thought society and friends thought that is what one did! I was wrong..
Personally you need to test drive your lady for at least a year or more or a lifetime. She may fart in bed or pick her toes or well the other annoying things. Then there is the hardest question of all... Can or will you sill love her 20 years from now? People do change and 20 years from now if you want a divorce well kiss your life savings goodbye. There is something about that piece of paper that makes you try harder when times are tough... But it also leads to the hobby when there is too much to loose. In my marriage I came into the relationship with way more assets, made way more money. In return she emotionally supported me and loved me, and in return I gave up a few things for her too. But 20 years later I want to do those things I gave up. I am trapped. Age is a bitch!
I realize a true love does not need a piece of paper to commit to another. The hard question for anyone who wants marriage is do they believe you love them as much without the piece of paper as with?
Our society has twisted sex, marriage and cohabitation into a confusing thing. So make no mistake marriage is an institution and has nothing to do with love.
Oh yeah what do you get from society for getting that piece of paper. An acknowledgment that it is ok to live together and have sex and produce babies? BFD!
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