I'll just admit it, so now what do I do? I'm 35 and married for the first time, one year. We've had terrible sex, 3 times, in that year, two barely count.

It used to be my wife would tell me she's depressed and doesn't want it. But now, the truth is coming out. I'll admit I suspected the truth, but i didn't think she could possibly be stupid enough to marry me.

So, it's painfully obvious to me now, that I'm not getting it, because I can't satisfy her. My life story in a nutshell, I'm a little "small", I come from an insanely religious family, so combine fanaticism with no self conf. and I didn't even kiss a girl until I was 24. And then, my first BJ came first. Once I got over religion, and got my confidence up enough to get with someone, I became the target of many average to good looking women who have problems but were willing to please me sexually, i'm horny and could have it 3 times a day, but they were like, nearly forcing 10 BJ's a day on me etc. In one case, I could barely walk I was so traumatized.

Good as it was, that's not what i wanted long term and incredibly stressful for among other things, I feel too guilty using people.

I started dating more "normal" women, but while they'd seem into me at first, it would never get to sex and they'd dump me. But I had discovered California strip clubs which were a great backup.

That got old, and then I met my wife. She was into me just like the crazies were but she was gorgeous, problems sure, but we clicked. So I really fell in love with her. I know she loved me too. and in a way still does. Sex was really hard with her because I was too into her and intimidated. And she wasn't like the others. She likes sex, but no oral etc. and never seemed natural with her and certainly didn't give a rat's ass about pleasing me. But nonetheless, we were in love.

so fast forward to the realities of marriage, her child now my daugthter, money problems, the whole list, and it's no picnic overall.

And now, sex is a problem for her. Before, apparently (even though she orgasmed multiple times usually - she's not the faking type) though I didn't please her enough, i was the answer to her emotional problems at that time.

But now, the other benefits aren't so much to her. And her lack of sexual satisfaction is a huge problem. She isn't cheating, or looking to cheat, but it's no holds barred on her insults, her comparing me to not just her past guys but our doctor, guys at clubs - you name it - she has to let me know in explicit detail how inadequate I am for her and how every guy we run into would be better for her.

While obviously she's being a b*** and entirely ungrateful for the endless sacrafices I've made for her and her kid, she's right in a way.

All the experience I've had outside of her has essentially been women trying to please me. And here I am, 35, and I have no idea how to f*** her! (as she tells me all the time). And it's true! She has no patience, and just expects me to "be the man" and not a little snivilling child. Well, that's all fine and good, but it's not like I can just summon the ghost of a porn star to take over my body and give it to her.

So a few months ago, I started lurking here a little as she was denying me, abusing me, and looking to cheat on me. A lot of that was my failure to know how to deal with her emotional problems. She's on meds now, and we're making the day to day grind work better.

But there's still no sex. So I look at it this way. She won't live without it the rest of her life. So it's either give me a chance or find someone else. But even if she gives me a chance, once every 4 months, with the fact she's pushed my self-confidence down to nothing, how am I suppose to just take charge on that rare off-chance and impress her?

So now I'm back to lurking here though my plan has changed. Ok, on the one hand, I know I should just divorce her and kick her ass out of my house - I'm an expert on Tom Leykis's philosophy. But let's just say I want to make this work - sort of.

Now i'm here for a different reason. if we can't have sex in the next few months, or if we do just once and she just uses it to insult me and break my ego further with put-downs etc., then it's hopeless. She'll eventually leave me.

so my thinking now is, what if meet some women on this website, and LEARN! lol. i mean, how hard can it be? i have no inhibitions, it's just a matter of getting a few things down it would seem. I'm coordinated and fairly good at anything else i've put my mind to in life. Jesus, I imagine that three or four one or two hour sessions with someone who's willing to give me a hands-on crash course in pleasing a woman would help me immensely. no fun and games with me laying around and getting BJs, but a lot of practicing movements etc.

The upshot is that after learning the ropes, when I get that one chance 3 months from now, I might surprise her and save our marriage. The downside is that I could catch an STD or she'll somehow find out, then it's all over of course. Though, I might be in a better position for the next girlfriend and doing nothing won't fix things either.

any advise or comments welcome. hell, even sarcastic comments and put downs - no anynymous online heckler could possibly hurt me worse than my wife does daily.