Dear PB9999,

This issue comes up so frequently that I'm almost inclined to put it up right there with "I've-fallen-for-a-provider-and-can't-get-up!"

Delayed orgasm was rarely if ever helped with ED meds - quite the contrary, actually. Female condoms is an EXCELLENT idea. You may also wish to try my No Mas Masturbation plan, which is quite simple in scope and very effective in execution. STOP MASTURBATING for the next 30 days. Yep. No stimulation, no watching porn, no doing anything sexual on your own. In your case, I would suggest COMPLETE sexual abstinence for 30 days, i.e. not even consorting with any living breathing females. Nada. Just go about your life as if you were a chaste, sexless monk.

After 30 days, book an appointment with a provider who is willing to use a female condom. In addition, try to book an appointment for longer than an hour - maybe two, just to kick back and get all unpretentious and laid back at first and then slowly move toward sexual activity.

Will it work? Dunno. It should. Haven't met you, though, haven't processed this in the counseling room, dunno what's behind all of it. Could be performance anxiety if it's during the last 3 months - or was it like this when you were 20 as well?

If you're the nervous type, you'll need familiarity to loosen up. And, since you're in good health, I assume there are no antidepressants or other orgasm-inhibiting meds on the horizon?

Try the No Mas plan and see if it works,
The Love Goddess

I am sure some providers won't mind that. What do the providers do you then during that entire hour?

The additional anxiety that's induced by the hobby can have that effect. If you can't book appointments longer that 1 hour, then you may benefit from some relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation to let the anxiety go prior to the appointment.

Personally, when that problem crops up with me, I try to forget about having an orgasm altogether and just enjoy the moment. Not all sex has to end in orgasm to be fulfilling and I find that, when I do manage to forget about my own orgasm, I frequently solve the problem.

...They really do make a difference so you should bring your own; sealed of course.

In my experience, I have found that thinner condoms are better sensation (duhh).  I found I prefer thin latex.  Also condoms come in different sizes and are shaped.  Friction is what creates sensation.  To have friction one must have movement.  If the condom to too snug, does not move on the penis, there is no friction on the inside for him.  The condom needs a bit of room and lubrication to move on the inside (while gripping the shaft to stay on).  
Frankly, I suggest checking condom sites on line then go buy a sample to try out.

I take my own to dates.  I recommend sealed 3 packs.  I respect that a lady has the right to refuse to use condoms not supplied by her (lest they be tampered with or out of date)...  but I have never had a lady refuse to use mine.  I place them on the bed side table and then excuse myself to use the bathroom & wash my hands giving her a chance to inspect them if she wants to.  I leave any remainder with her, do not carry them home...
I have been pleasantly surprised at how well a selected condom has worked for me, on a return visits with a Fav lady.  

I would suggest you lay off the masterbation at least a few to several days prior to a date.  When you do (don't we all, sometimes) use plenty of quality lube (I happen to have Astroglide on hand at present).    
But seriously, masterbation is very different from MF intercourse or oral for that matter.  Each act, you are teaching your body what stimulation to respond to...  

There are studies that suggest ED meds can DELAY orgasm...  so don't use them unless you needd them & if you do need them, use the lowest dose that will work.  My prescribing physician told me to cut the V pills and prescribes the largest size.  Warning they taste like crap on the tonge.

Best Wishes,
skb