I was thinking today the first time I saw a provider. It goes way back to 1969 in a house in Wheeling W.V. I'm 57 so do the math. I know I have a addiction but wtf, I was married raised a family, divorced and back into the hobby and happy.

That's nice, nutandbolt,
before you call yourself an addict, please check out the link.

I bet you're just highly, highly sexed
the Love Goddess

. . . when you were married?

back then it wasn't called hobbing. But I got into the hobby about 7 years ago after divorce and I enjoy it. I'm not interested in a long term relationship, so hobbying takes care of my needs for now and I love it.

Does that make me an addict?

I have problems with some of their questions because they relate to phenomena without questioning the motivation underneath.

I still feel that the best answer to whether or not you are addicted is to ask whether the behaviour is a problem for you personally, as opposed to the rest of society.

Or as some wags (me included) would put it:  An addiction is a hobby you can't afford.

-- Modified on 8/27/2006 7:02:51 AM

Yes mrfisher,
This is a given. The behavior should cause some distress to you. As I've pointed out before - there is a difference between release and lifestyle.

the Love Goddess

Interesting website, LG, but I'm a little amazed at the criteria it suggests for its desired 'sobriety': "We have found through our experience that sobriety includes freedom from masturbation and sex outside a mutually-committed relationship."

Don't you agree that hardly any male in America would meet that standard?

As you suggest, the true criterion may not be the website's simple list, but rather whether or not the individual feels his/her sexual behavior is a personal problem, interfering with the rest of his/her life.  

For most people, thinking about sex a lot, masturbating and having occasional sex outside of a 'committed relationship' is *not* really a problem.

If no one ever had sex outside a committed relatinship, few committed relationships would ever have formed.  Isn't that's the way we're built? Sometimes (particularly for men) it's sex first, love second.

I'm sure this organization has been very helpful to many people.  But its website reads, at least to me, as  a little moralistic and unsophisticated. It could actually make some normal people feel guilty, when they shouldn't.

Yes, bostongreg,
See my views in previous thread. But as said before, this site is for ADDICTS. It's the same thing as being an alcoholic. For most people, having a glass of wine is no big deal. For an alcoholic, it's downright destructive.
I've said it before, and I'm saying it again: Let's not confuse true addiction with healthy sexual expression.

End of story,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 8/27/2006 8:01:44 AM

Yes, LG, I see your point.  

Non-sex-addicts can have more freedom and options than genuine recovering ex-sex-addicts...just as non-alcoholics can have many more drinking choices than ex-alcoholics.

It would be wrong to make too sophisticated a criticism of AA, just as I guess mine was of this website.

What's up...are you repressed?  

Sorry, I had to say something since my count was unfortunately a bit higher....

are we alone

Monogamy is a  big, Xian lie, and sites like this are just proof of that.  There isnt anything wrong or immoral by being the beasts we were born to be.