I can finally log on here again without all that VPN nonsense.

Before arrival I message SB1 from last August asking her when she wants to meet.  Says Friday and I agree.  Friday comes around and crickets all day.  At 6 p.m. she messages me that she's still at work and she'll message me later. I figure it won't happen and I collapse on my bed jet-lagged and exhausted.  

At 8 p.m. I get a message that she's still at work and why don't we meet tomorrow for lunch.  Now I'm really mad because we all know that "lunch = friend zone"  so I lose my cool and break x-ray's rule and tell her "thank you for ruining my evening,  I have other plans for lunch tomorrow."  She suggests the day after, presumably for lunch too so I refuse and tell her I'm only free after 5 pm.  Pity because she was hot and we did great last summer. But to be honest even thought we were keeping in touch across the Pacific on a nearly daily basis I detected a cooling off, so I wasn't surprised.  But  I must confess she was the best SB ever for me. A touch of the feels too.

SB2 : crickets - girl gone ghost!

My only option remains a date with POT No. 3 on Sunday who declared in advance that it needs a lot to get her into the sack.  "If you think you can throw $300 at me you're mistaken." This does not bode well.

Looks like unfortunately I'm going to have to cough up another $90 for another month on SA

-- Modified on 10/19/2018 10:48:30 PM

But FUCK, I am fresh of of sunshine. lol I may or may not have told SB1 basically to "fuck off" but I completely agree with your assessment of the situation, including taking a pass of SB3.

 
I hope you have luck finding someone else on short notice, and let me try to throw at least one ray of sunshine your way. I just did a quick perusal of SA in Tokyo and there are several attractive looking POT SBs whose profiles look very much like they are at least "semi pros" a couple look very much like pros who would be down for a quick hook up rather than a long drawn out "romance" in order to go BCD.  

 
Good luck with you search, and just remember, if you strike out in the SB world, in a city the size of Tokyo there have to be literally thousands of hookers to fall back on.

Had lunch with POT SB3 and she was cute but not hot. I took her for a nice lunch and then a cafe.   She asked for 800 ppm!  I nearly spat out my expensive kohi.

I've been through many of those you checked out. I have only one filter: "slim". The foreign girls mostly all East European hookers for 300 at a love hotel.  The local talent mostly looking to be platonic tour guides - and that works for them because of the language barrier. I do have 2 in reserve at a decent ppm but I'm not really crazy about either one.  In fact one of them who keeps messaging me would have to pay me to fuck her.

OK I have fess up and confess to my buddies here: I accepted to have dinner with SB1 tonight. I'm wondering how to respond when she dumps me. I'm thinking : "Oh so you wasted yet another of my evenings and got a free dinner too?" but I know myself and can't ever be that rude.

Maybe agreeing to dinner means there is hope yet???

 
In any case, what I do when I have a date with an "iffy" SB, if its a dinner date, and I don't want to risk spending the rest of the night in a hotel room alone with blue balls, I usually try to find a "sure thing" like an agency that I can use as a fall back if the SB date doesn't go as I hope.

 
Have you ever gone BCD with SB1?

Yes I've been BCD with her multiple times last summer. It actually started as an SD/SB thing but turned into a regular torrid affair with no allowance and we kept in touch daily while I was back in the States.  Mind you I'm 68 and she's 27!

My refusal to have lunch with her made her agree to dinner. She then wanted to meet at the restaurant and I told her she would have to come to my apartment first.  She did, and  as soon as she got there I asked her point-blank what is it that you need to tell me.  She said she knew I'd already figured it out and she had a new boyfriend.   So I asked her what are you doing here and she said I want to stay friends.  I told her to leave at once,  but as she was walking out the door I told her that this was the second evening this week she'd wasted for me so that the least she could do was buy me dinner for once.   She immediately agreed and said she would be happy to do so because it would "prove" our friendship. We spent the next 4 hours at restaurants and bars catching up at a very intimate level that we had reached last time together.  Her story began to change and she told me that the new boyfriend was just 22 a year old  fuck buddy.   I realized she was changing the story to keep me as an option even though that probably wasn't true.  

At the end of the evening she asked if we could see each other again later this week.  At first I refused but like women do so well when they're pretty she charmed me into eventually accepting.  But once I got home I realized the folly of my mistake.  I immediately messaged her that I'm only interested in a physical relationship and if she was okay with that we could meet again otherwise forget it.

Let's see if my gambit pays off but fucked if I'm going to be beta-ed into the friend zone. As you can tell she really does affect me so I need another one ASAP to distract me. Sadly the hookers leave me empty and unfulfilled at my age. Like an SB I also want a "connection"

If I were you I would play up the nostalgia of your past relationship and basically ask her for one more "Good bye fuck" lol Naturally you don't want to phrase it that way, but if she is still interested in keeping you on the string and she is not head over heels in love with this new guy, which she most likely is NOT, considering she is going out with you in the first place, I think your chances of getting back into her pants by taking her down "memory lane" are actually pretty good.

 
Here is where you probably went wrong, you more or less DEMANDED sex from her and to most SB's that is akin to treating her "like a whore". I think I might have tested her temperature by messaging her and telling her that you would me willing to see her again, but that you "make no promises about "behaving" yourself" depending on her reaction you could then gauge your chances of her relenting and fucking you just 'one more time for old times sake" lol

 
All that said, I hope you realize that getting her to fuck you this way is really no different than fucking a hooker. You are either going to be demanding or manipulating her into have sex with you, pretty much against her will, that's not really having a "connection"  Personally I am fine with it, but I am not the one who needs a "connection" to enjoy sex. lol

So I won't bother reviewing the salient do's and don't you have trashed while in the Land of the Rising sun. :p  
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Frankly, if I was there, my ADD (Asian Delight Disorder) would be so overstimulated I'd probably be handing out my credit cards to any relative hottie I see walking down the street, just hoping they would stop for a moment and take pity on me by smiling at me.  
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But ADD aside, in general I have stopped trying to find POT's when I travel. Most of my recent trips have only been for 2 or 3 days and usually at least one of those evenings are booked for work / client dinners.  It's really too much effort to line up the 2 primaries and 4 backups needed to ensure I have at least a 85% chance of getting BCD.  Besides, if I'll be home in 48-72 hours, I just line up one of my home rotation SB's to meet me the day (or day after) I get home.  
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But to GaGa's point, I still do some research on local pro's in case a window of opportunity comes up.  Note: That's getting much harder to do in the US with the latest legislative crap. I think the break-even point for me to invest in finding a POT SB in a "travel-to" location would be at least a one-week stay. If I can include a weekend in that, even batter. Even then, I need to break several of my normal rules to engage: I need to initiate contact and/or modify my profile to add a secondary location and a line about travel dates to and when.  Also, I will try to negotiate a face to face by skype before I leave and hopefully use that time to work out BCD details early, plus get a decent idea of her "get my dick hard on sight" factor. I also generally work up some narrative about visiting her city (for work) two to four times a month to give her a sense that I'm probably not a HIAQI Daddy (even though I probably am).  Even then, I like to keep a reliable pro on standby for out call (DoorDash Pussy, anyone?), or in call if she's not too far away.  
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Note:  For the noob SD's and Punters out there, "HIAQI" = Hit It And Quit It.  
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Life is good.  
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The Cat

Cat: We share the same malady. But relating to your post I spend several months a year in Tokyo.   Not the quick business trips any more.   In 2018 it will total 4 months and I always rent the same apartment. So it's a quasi-residency.

Gaga: yes I fucked up and your approach makes sense. Too late now .

There is a HUGE difference between being a tourist or a business traveler and being a quasi-resident. Only the pros and semi pros are going to be interested in seeing an SD who they most likely will never see again. Your situation is completely different, and you could be the perfect SD for many a girl since you are there enough to provide a regular revenue stream, but not so much that you are going to be up her ass all the time. The down side of course is the fact that with most hot women you are going to have a lot of competition and while Daddy is away the Baby most certainly is going to play, so be prepared to have a very high rate of turnover.

 
I just checked out the listings in Tokyo and while it's not as "target rich" as some place like LA there are still a couple of hundred POT SB's who have logged in over the last week or so, plenty enough to get a rotation going. I would advise you do as most of the rest of us do who have been successful in the Sugar World and that is to constantly be cultivating new relationships, It's inevitable that you are going to lose SB's to attrition, just like you did with this one, but if you have three more on the hook, the loss of a single SB won't really matter that much.

 
I can "kind of" relate to your situation, I used to spend about a third of my time in Latin America, and while I didn't use SA at the time, I did manage to cultivate a few SD/SB type relationships with hookers that were tired of being hookers and a couple of those relationships lasted for a considerable length of time, the longest over two years. I am sure that with SA as a resource you can easily create a rotation of even just two or three SBs to make sure you never have to spend more than the occasional night alone that is not by choice. I honestly have no idea what you are going to need to budget in Japan, SB rates are like hooker rates they vary greatly depending on what part of the world you are in. In Costa Rica i gave my last SB about a grand a month and saw her between 5-10 times a month, depending on how much time I spent "in country" and usually we would spend 4-8 hours together. Unlike other SBs I have had, her "allowance" did not revolve around how many times a month she saw me as she would see me virtually every day I was in town that I wanted to see her, she worked around my schedule not the other way around.

...Since you guys have covered this pretty well already.  I agree with Herb that it's almost not worth the effort trying to line up a BCD date when traveling.  With TER gone, a reliable backup plan is hard to arrange, and the SBs mostly are not interested in a HIAQI encounter.  But here's the thing, a few of them are and make that clear in their profiles.  So I still browse my destination city just to see if one of those rarities exists.  But I've pretty much given up on my previous routine of sending out many dozens of messages and hoping to find a gem in the bunch.  Too much effort, and as Herb said, I  love my local SBs and I'd rather spend my time, $ and energy on them.

I've never been to Japan so I won't venture to know anything about the SB culture there.  But here I've known quite a few who had regular BFs and were still actively screwing their way to prosperity!  In some cases the BFs were aware and were down with it, but more often not aware.  My current favorite little 19yo lolita SB dumped the BF she had when we met because, as she explained, he didn't have a strong enough sex drive and didn't fuck her enough! Then she picked up a new one who fills her needs better.  But he's an out of town BF, so she happily sees her rotation of SDs except when the BF is in town.  She's quite comfortable compartmentalizing her life that way and it sure works for me.  Anyway, my point is that the OP's SB #1 might just be amenable to the suggestion that she doesn't need to choose between him and the BF.  She can enjoy both!

OP here. SB1 did blow me off and didn't show up and subsequently stopped answering my texts as "punishment". So I kissed her off for good and proceeded to enjoy the week long Halloween festivities here, when suddenly - after a whole month's absence - she pops up on SA !  

WTF ! She dumped me because she had a boyfriend and now she's on SA every day?  So I let a few days go by to allow her to taste the "blow job for 200?" assaults and "give me your bank account" types and today I text her a photo of me with two girls at a party. Within minutes her texts to me resume lol

Meanwhile I have a previous POT I hadn't tested (or tasted ) coming to spend the afternoon at my place on Wed "after school".

Herb - you'd go nuts here ! You'd be back in LA a pauper!

Paraphrasing one of my favorite episodes of the TV show,  MASH:  
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"All I know is what they taught me at Daddy school:  
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The first rule of Sugar is that SB's lie.  
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The second rule is that Daddies can't change rule number one."  
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I never worry about lies unless they lead to some abuse of my attention or finances. Actions define intent.  
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You can generally ignore most of the specific words in any message an SB sends you other than "yes (I will fuck you)", or "no (I won't unless you ____)".  Pay more attention to when she contacts you and what actions she takes related to that message.  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

And both sides are constantly on the lookout for free upgrades...whether it's a hotel or an airline or in the sugar bowl.

The $90 for another month on SA bore fruit. Had a decent intimate encounter today and a brand new arrangement all worked out with another one starting this weekend.

One thing that should be tattooed on every prospective SD's head, "Do NOT get overly attached to any one SB" The moment you start getting too attached, or even just "too comfortable" they can smell it and the tail starts wagging the dog.

 
One thing about pussy, the less you are getting of it, the more important it seems to be. As long as you are getting laid regularly by multiple women the chances of getting "stupid" over any of them is rather remote, but the moment you start relying on only one woman for sex, whether that woman is a hooker, SB, or even your wife, they can smell it, the worm turns and they start making you jump through hoops. The key is to never let that happen, always have a rotation, or at the very least a back up and you won't find yourself going through these stressful, painful periods.

When you love someone other than who you are fucking, when you close your eyes, who are you thinking about?  When I am fucking my wife, I often imagine I am fucking someone else.

EOM

Sorry, that was just too easy to pass up, just like his wife. lmao

 
Damn, I REALLY need to stop, and I promise I will, TOMORROW. lol

 
But back to the topic at hand, yes when fucking one woman I often think of another. To tell the truth I am often already thinking about the next woman I am going to fuck before even finishing with the one I'm with. Yes, I am a pig. What can I say? Oink Oink.

a lot of married guys may be thinking of their wife while they fuck you, just so they last longer.

I never said I thought about other people when having sex with "MY" wife. I haven't had sex with my own wife since the early nineties when we got divorced, What I said was that I thought about other women when having sex with HIS wife. lol

 

As for thinking about other women when fucking the wife, I think that if it weren't for thinking of other women some husbands would NEVER fuck their wives. I think its a large part of the reason that many wives give permission to their husbands to go to the strip clubs where they can get all wound up and then come home and have sex with their wives while they are still all hot and bothered with the memory of some stripper fresh in their mind.

 
On a related note, I am sure many wives read romance novels or watch soap operas to get their own libido up enough to fuck their old fat husbands. I bet you literally millions of wives simply close their eyes and imagine they are getting fucked by their favorite soap opera or movie star.

It's partly an age thing.  When we are young men, we have to think about baseball so as to avoid cumming too soon.  When we are old men we have to think of the most stimulating thing we can to keep our cocks hard.  The wife benefits by getting a hard cock to ram her. They guy benefits by his fantasy of fucking some other hottie.

And maybe an even better comparison is when the rich spoiled house wife who is fucking the gardener or pool boy and then has to perform her "wifely duties" to keep her husband happy so he will keep paying the bills, so she thinks of her lover in order to fake enough passion to keep her old fat husband satisfied and in the dark.

 
I know a lot of guys who claim their wife no longer has any interest in sex when the truth of the matter is, they have plenty of interest in fucking someone who makes them feel young and attractive, but they have no desire to fuck their flabby, smelly husband who only wants to fuck when he comes home drunk from the titty bar. lol

 
They say sex is half fantasy and half friction. I do know that sometimes when I am having a hard time "finishing" I will try to think about fucking some other woman that I was either super hot for or alternatively think back to someone I was once in love with and imagine fucking her, and sometimes that's all it takes to "get over the top"

and that is when they have just returned home from a "late night at the office".

It's the pheromones, or some such shit.  I would experience this many times.

Definitely a case against the argument for intelligent design, IMHO.