A SB messaged me and said she was interested. Wasn't really my type but possible. We switched to text and she told me her PPM. It was double what I was willing to consider and I wasn't sure even at that number. So I told her it was too much. Take care. Be safe. Now she messaged saying I was bring rude because I didn't counter. WTF.
An invitation to counter.
It was. I told her we were so far apart that I didn't want to insult her with a counter.
I can't fault you for walking away when she started 2x or more over your highest budget target. There is a (growing?) percentage of POT's who were either LUCKLY to have some past SD with an outrageous budget (or were fucking clueless!) or who have a rather simplistic view of how to negotiate. Perhaps they just assume that an SD will try to low-ball them so they start at 2x or 3x what they will accept in the hopes that he will "settle" for her actual expected PPM. Or you're Spidey Senses correctly got the GPS vibes and you did the right thing. If she was serious with her high ask, would she really be happy accepting half that as a result of your counter offers?
That being said, I generally give this response when I get a ridiculous ask: "Wow! I have to tell you that is quite a bit higher than my budget will allow for an ongoing arrangement. I'm usually in the .75x to 1.5x (where "x" = my standard PPM) range. I want to be respectful of your time, so I will wish you good luck in your search and I will move on."
It's a bit wordy, but it shows respect for her "ask" and her time while indirectly telling her she is bat-shit-crazy if she thinks she's going to get that amount out of me. It also shows that I am interested in an ongoing arrangement rather than a one-time fuck-fest. And that gives her an out to come back and ask things like "how many times a week/month do you want to meet."
In my experience, this may work perhaps 10-20% of the time and results in a more affordable deal. But YMMV of course.
Life is good
The Cat
if you're far apart but think she is open to discussion, you can say, 'the max I can do is xxx' and then she knows it's your final offer.
I recently had a very successful negotiation with a 23yo SB I was chatting up. I offered my usual amount, she requested more, and we settled on an amount that seems very comfortable for both of us. What characterized this conversation was my impression from the very start that she was negotiating honestly and gently, and that we both had a sincere desire to make it work out. (When you get the impression that they are NOT negotiating in good faith, that's a big red flag and rarely has a good outcome.) I of course used Herb's sage advice and made it about what my budget could manage, NOT what she is "worth"! Also we included talking about how frequently we'd get together and therefore what her monthly income would be. The result was a PPM amount of only $1.5x, where x= the amount I needed to adjust for inflation anyway, and is still below average for this activity.