Dear Love Goddess,

I've been hobbying for a few years and am one of those guys who like to make sure the provider I'm with is having a good time as well.  My favorite activity is daty.  Now, whether or not I can actually get a provider to orgasm is...well, it's not my goal but if I can, it boosts the ego.  

But I guess my question is about the signs.  I was with a squirter recently and it made me a believer.  I know it wasn't pee.  But I was wondering, when it is NOT urine, can squirting be faked or is it a true sign of female orgasm?

Also, a few times I've been with a provider and I'm daty.  I'm watching them and their hips are moving, their whole body is tensing up, and yes I know these are the "typical" signs that can easily be faked.  But while I'm doing my thing, they don't start squirting but I notice that my lips do suddenly feel wetter and there is a sweet taste to  this sudden but minimal wetness which usually results in the lady pushing me away not long after. Is this a sign of female orgasm?  And can this sudden wetness be faked?

thanks,
someone who didn't go to medical school and is sometimes completely lost on the female anatomy

Dear mytake,
I didn't go to medical school either, but that shouldn't be a deterrent for anyone as to understanding female orgasm

No, women can't fake squirting. They either squirt, or they don't. But please, don't take squirting as the end-all be-all of female orgasm. The experience is as individual as there are women. In fact, not every orgasm is the same for every woman. Sometimes, we squirt, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we shriek and sometimes we're very quiet. Sometimes we move our hips, and sometimes we lie still. It all depends on who's doing what to whom. As for cunnilingus, if the lady is pushing you away, it's either because she's had her orgasm and she's done, or, she could just be overstimulated. Or, maybe HER favorite activity ISN'T DATY. If that's the case, then consider yourself lucky that you got to lap around for a while, and move on to something else.

My question is this: why is it so important to have an EXACT definition of what and when female orgasm occurs? I don't think women are so aware of it themselves, quite frankly. I don't think we sit around and ask ourselves about our quality and frequency of orgasm. We like'm when they happen, but most of us don't overanalyze. That's an orgasm-killer, for sure. But I assume that for men, the view of sex is much less mysterious than it is for us. Men have had a perfect view of their genitals since the day they were born. Their evidentiary process for ascertaining orgasm is simple: just watch the spoo come flying, and that's it - bingo, orgasm. For us, unless our G-spot is stimulated, we don't squirt, and we can't see what's going on down there when it's happening. So basically, all we've got to go on is our own brain activity. In that department, we surely are more cerebral, LOL. I'm sure you get my drift.

As for faking it: welcome to the world of sex, both paid and free. It's impossible to expect that every woman you lick will be orgasmic. It just doesn't work that way. Depending on a woman's cycle, mood, chemistry with you, etc., etc., she may or may not orgasm. If you keep obsessing about signs, faking, etc., then you'll divert valuable attention to enjoying the moment. Yes, it's possible that some women fake it, particularly if they're paid. But then they let you off scot-free, and don't berate you about what a shitty lover you are, which they can do quite freely if the sex is free.

So, it's your choice. I say relax and take what you can get and quit worrying and thinking about it. And, if you really, really want to know about women's orgasms, read the Hite report, where you'll find over 3,000 females describing exactly how they feel and why when their boat's rocking.

Happy munching,
the Love Goddess

You got it right, LG, when you said that men know exactly when, how, why they orgasm. So does anyone else in the vicinity. If the woman that is helping sees it then I am sure there is a feeling of satisfaction and maybe a bit of pride involved that she caused that reaction. Guys (I would like to think most anyway) would like to have that same feeling, I think. I know I do. I also know that if it doesn't happen it isn't because of me (I hope), but I do like to feel that if it does happen that I had a hand (or tongue) in causing that. A feeling of satisfaction and pride that I caused such a good feeling in a woman is a great rush.

Having all that preamble was to say this; I think that is why guys are always on the search of signs of a female orgasm. Mens orgasms are so easily identified so women know and get that rush. Womens are not and asking in almost any way is taking away from the moment. So I am always interested in learning and reading and listening to women about their orgasms. I don't want to say that I feel I have to "make her cum" every time I am with her in order to feel good, but when it does happen I would like to "know" it.

Anyway I hope this is just a little insight into a guys reasoning to your question "My question is this: why is it so important to have an EXACT definition of what and when female orgasm occurs?"

The orgasm-both male and female-is not an exact science. The same woman may not orgasm the same way during two different encounters. Some providers simply don't orgasm at all and others sometimes will and sometimes won't. I happen to have two favorite ladies right now that are both multi orgasmic during the course of a two or three hour session but I have also been with plenty of ladies who only managed one-or none. The fun, for me at least, is in being spontaneous.  I love it when the lady I am with has an O or two...or three but I don't go down on them with a users guide trying to figure out how to make it happen and I don't take notes to try and figure out how to repeat the process. Just relax and enjoy the time you are spending with the woman you are spending it with.
I love the entire concept of mutual gratification but if you spend too much time thinking about it you will definitely distract yourself...and this won't do either of you any good...

-- Modified on 11/9/2007 5:30:21 PM

Just some of the great things about dating a transsexual...

I squirt,
I can't get pregnant,
I can't "fake it"
And I can read a map...

Giggle,
TS Jamie

I don't necessarily have to have an orgasm in order to have a nice time; hell, I didn't have my 1st until I was 25.

My German boyfriend at the time; go figure.  Got scared as I wasn't sure what was happening when my ass started to tingle and I felt hot and the noises that escaped me were frightening to me at the time.

Looking back; I wasn't having bad sex before, but after I knew what pleased ME even more so.

A question about female orgasms...
My wife and I recently could not get enough of one another and eneded up having sex for 8 days straight multiple times per day and she had multiple orgasms during every session. In addition to being sore and swollen, she says that her ovaries are hurting very bad, she is in pain and thought that the continuous contractions might have caused the pain, anyone ever encounter this before, I am more worried that it is something other than the sex.

Dear baldy69,
While we all appreciate the fact that you had a great time, your wife should not be sitting there with pain. She needs to go to the gynecologist, pronto. Tell her to make an appointment TODAY.

Go see the doc, go see the doc,
the Love Goddess

I worry about her because she had Ovarian Cancer about 10 yrs ago... So anything in her female regions will always bother me!

Turned out to be an ovarian cyst...
Thanks LG.