Last night I made a stupid mistake and now my wife knows about my life. She is out of town for a week and I have refused to talk about it until she gets back. As you will see from my reviews I have been active for a long time. For the last three years I have had a couple of SB's. Now that I have been caught I need to stop. I'm also in my 70's and felt that it was time to end this, but not this way.
Perhaps some of you reading this have had this happen to you. Even if you haven't, what advice do you have for me. ThanksDeny deny deny.
Because the "harm" is only in her head. Keep it out of her head, or in doubt, and so too the harm is reduced.
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People who admit to infidelity might as well stab the person with a knife -- the cruelty is in the telling.
First off I have to ask, is following Lester's advice even a possibility? If so that is what I would do. Deny, destroy any traces of your life hear and put it all in your rearview mirror. IF of course you really love your life, are tiring of this anyhow and want to stay with her without EVER fucking another woman for the rest of your life. Damn, that sounds like a death sentence when you say it out loud. lol But it's your life, so your choice.
Now if you are busted beyond any chance of denying it I am really not sure what kind of advice to give you except for beg for mercy, but you have been doing this for a LONG time as you yourself have said. Are you REALLY willing to give up strange pussy for the REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!!??? If so, I wish you luck. Assuming that you are both in your 70's maybe you can convince her it was "only sex", it meant nothing and you will NEVER do it again. "maybe" lol
start shopping around for a real good divorce lawyer.
I have been there and done that, and I wish I'd had had a better lawyer. If I did, I could be seeing a lot more interesting women for longer periods of time than I can now.
What ever happens, I do wish you well.
As many here already know, I'm in my 70s, have been mongering and sugaring for 18 years, am very happily married, and my wife and I are ethically non monogamous/polyamorous. Zero deceit, drama, or jealousy. We encourage each other to enjoy life to the fullest including becoming intimate with others. That being said, I wish you had talked honestly to your wife about your sexual needs before you started mongering. But you didn't. So now I have to ask, do you still have a sexual relationship with your wife? If you don't, and if it's because she's one of those women who just give up on sex at a certain point, then you have good reason to get your needs met elsewhere. She will be justified in feeling betrayed by your deceitfulness. And for that you need to apologize profusely. But you do NOT have to apologize for having sexual desires and wanting to have a sex life. If you have been a good, loving husband in all other ways, remind her of that. You also deserve some privacy. You can tell her you've been intentionally seeing professional providers, not having the sort of affairs that could jeopardize your marriage. And she most certainly does not need to know any other details. And if she can't accept what you've done, then perhaps divorce is your only option. I know that nobody else on here is going to agree with me, but that's how I feel about it.
Not with your advice, but with your statement that "nobody else here is going to agree" lol
I don't know if your advice will work in his case, but that doesn't mean it's bad advice. If I ever were to get married again I would only do so with COMPLETE honesty, and that honesty would extend to the fact that until my dick stops working I am going to remain a pig. Once my dick stops working, (40 years from now I hope) we can talk about being "faithful" lol
Think of this as a tennis match, you can only control what happens on your side of the tennis court. If you're unhappy in your marriage either leave it, make a proposal that you are willing to live with, or change your behavior.
You cannot change how your wife feels, thinks, or reacts.
As for your infidelity? You made your bed. I've been there and I admitted it and took it on the chin. I needed to end a marriage that was destined to fail.
Just my .02, take what you like and leave the rest.
of this happening to me. Happily married except for NO sex and no possibility. Have been mongering for decades!!!
Please circle back and share how you worked through this, what you did right and not so right. Others may learn from your experience.
My wife and I haven't had sex in nearly 20 years. She knows that I am not being celibate, but she doesn't want to know any details. I think that I have semi-permission to on a dirty vacation with my Thai GF.
I did suggest a MFF threesome once, but all I got was No! No! No!
Most of us keep two sets of lives. The married life and the mongering life and never the two shall meet. In this case, sounds like there was a head on collision between the two. Only you can ultimately answer the question because you are the only one who has the specifics of your actual relationship. You didn’t talk details about what you did and how she found out but is it even possible to deny it? Its tends to be very, very difficult to put the genie back in the bottle once it’s out. Depending on the specifics, this may end very badly and require an attorney or you may end up in a completely different place. If you have been at the hobby for years, are you truly ready to walk away. There’s always a reason we partake in the hobby and only you can decide if you are ready to walk away.
Many of us are in a similar scenario simultaneously living two different lives constantly juggling the need for sex/new pussy and not getting detected by our wives. If you don't mind, share with us how you got caught. The details will help us advise you on next steps and by learning from your experience, it may assist one of us by preventing a similar situation.
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