I have met this gorgeous provider, we have met 3 times, the first time i had no problems with erection, the last two time i could not get one, even after bbbj, i am still a little nervous around her, i am 42 years old and have never had a problem.

My question is what do other hobbyist do to prepare for a date, do you eat oysters, take a prescribed pill, take herbal pills, eat certain foods before the date?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I prepare like I would for any date.  Plenty of rest, relax beforehand, and I don't masterbate for 3 or more days before the date.   No alcohol for a few days before also helps.

Relax and rest your mind and things should be OK.

I do not dwell on it... perfectly normal to have the occasional bout with an uncooperative penis - as long as it does not continue, you should be fine - let the lady know, perhaps she has something up her sleeve that may help you in getting aroused.  I know it has happened with myself, I just tell the truth and often get an answer like, "Oh really?" and an impish look - that can lead to one helluva orgasm if you do not pound yourself mercilessly with guilt or whatever.

I take a partial dose of Viagra or Levitra.  It provides enough blood flow to make up for any nervousness I might have, and gives me a confidence factor that I will be able to get good wood as many times as I need it.

Although I don't suffer from ED, it provides insurance to make sure that junior will perform on demand.

If you are healthy then you shouldnt have a problem. Just relax and let your instincts take over. Even if you take viagra they recomend take you use foreplay. Remember Providers get nervous also because they don't know you. The key is to relax.

and performance anxiety with women that I was especially fond of.  Worked like clockwork -- no problem until there were some heart stirrings, then Junior would be unreliable for a couple of weeks while I got used to the emotional connection.  Then it was back to normal.

Viagra will overcome this problem in most cases.  Get yourself a prescription, just in case.

I agree with most posters here, youngoffender,

with one exception - the Viagra issue. If you don't have any shred of documented, physiological ED in normal situation, I would be loath to administer some extra chemical help. Everyone reacts differently. Just a few days ago, we had a poster complaining that he got so rigid and insensitive that it "took the wind out of his sails." And that was from a regular dose. On that note, I believe that not masturbating, not drinking alcohol or eating a heavy meal and trying to avoid stress before the encounter are all good measures.

You could try the paradoxical approach by actually telling her that her beauty renders your weenie in knots. Who knows what interesting tricks she may have up her sleeve to remedy the situation?

Have fun,
the Love Goddess

In my experience, getting the jitters is normal.  It doesn't seem to matter whether it's the first time with a provider, or the 10th.  I see it as performance anxiety.  Somehow, it's intimidating to be there with someone who has probably had way more partners that I have, and to know that at least one of them is "better" than I am.

The cure has been to try to learn to stay in the moment, to enjoy the experience in real time.  All it takes is one "Oh my god, I'm here with this gorgeous chick, and I'm worried that I won't be able to satisfy her." and ol willie sags and won't wake back up.

One provider told me that she liked me because I showed up on time, was neat, clean, and polite, and I treated her like a human being.  Which says something about SOME of the clients she'd had in the past.

Wow, Thanks everyone for some good advice!

I think a few of your replies have hit it right on the money, "Emotional connection", "Beauty renders my Weenie in knots" LOL, Stress, Rest.

I will be applying your reccomendations, Thanks!

a qualified physician should make the call on whether Viagra is appropriate for this patient.  That's why I said he should get a prescription.

When you don't have an erection, it's not because you can't, it's because you really don't want to.

As you say, you're feeling really attracted to this lady.  So you don't want to treat her like all the other ladies you've seen for some 'quick fuck'.  It's actually your compliment to her.  You can tell her that - it's true.

This is where 'paradoxical intention' (first described by the European psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl) comes into play.  When you tell her you don't want to have an erection with her for a while, you may find that you're getting one, despite what you say and want.  

The brain dictates.  It tells you when you don't want an erection (even though you think you do). But you brain can also tell you when you do want one (even when you think you don't).

Think of this issue for what it is: it's beyond your conscious control.  With paradoxical intention, you win either way.  If you don't have an erection, you have a luscious long intimate time, with a woman you obviously like a lot.  And if you don't plan on having sex with her during a particular session, but wind up having it...

Go to a Dr.-Get a sample of Levitra or Viagra-get a prescription-try out the sample-I buy 20 mg of Levitra and use one half tablet as recommended by my Dr.-it works so great!!  Bye-Bye Anxiety!!!

I was trying too hard. Today, was the best and i just let go and relaxed.....easy to say, but hard to do.

Thanks again everyone, took alot of the advice and suggestions, and met with my ATF again last night and things worked wonderful!

I recently was having a marvelous time with a provider. We had been at lunch and out walking around a university for the afternoon and ended up back at her place. We fell upon each other in wild embracing and kissing. This went on a long time (not on her bed) and I had no problem with an erection - it at times got in the way. LOL.

After we had moved to the bed - no problem, until she put a condom on me. There was some difficulty and this did a number on my mental state. As I see it now, I just wanted to start embracing and talking again (out of synch with her mood, of course). I was hungry for more of her mind and personality - I just wanted relaxed intimacy after the wildness. (I also had only had 2 hours sleep the night before and by now was tired)

When my companion saw my member deflate - the visual effect heightened by the now loose fitting condom, she got down and began talking loudly and with huge vexation and with no sense of humor to my member (as if it were a little homunculus).

No! No! Don't do this to me! Come back! No!

Obviously, this had the opposite effect to the one she desired. It almost made me laugh aloud to enjoy this comical unexpected response of hers, but at the same time it saddened me that I had disappointed her. (She was very, very horny).

Things worked out fine, as I soon helped satisfy her in other ways by hand and mouth. A bit later, she finished me off with her mouth, when my member had reawakened (paradoxical intention?).

Although the scenario was a bit awkward, I would not change a thing about that afternoon. Life is beautifully unpredictable. How else would I have known that this unique frustrated response of hers could occur? I cherish the memory.


-- Modified on 2/25/2007 8:46:15 AM

eom

I am so happy you told us!  
Some people ask for help, which they get - and then they never let us know how it works out.

But fortunately, friendship and intimacy and closeness can be scheduled and planned for - and nothing's more precious than achieving those values. Out of them, sex sometimes arises, sometimes not.  

The important thing is: we don't ever need to 'score', nor  keep a scoreboard on her or our physical performance (typical TER reviews to the contrary).  Not all aspects of life are like a game. When you get to understand that, you become a happier, and possibly a better, person.