Back when I was using TER regularly to date Escorts the vetting process was easy.  Just read her reviews and you'd learn all you need to know about her reliability, safety, level of service, etc. And of course she could learn about you via the White list.  Dating SBs offers no such safety net, and I've been the victim of cash and dash several times, something that would never go unreported with a TER provider.  So it's left to us as individuals to vet our potentials.

Obviously I have learned my lesson and will not offer any $ until the end of a successful visit, never beforehand or at the outset.

Normally I have a coffee date with any prospects before going BCD.  This works well.  But sometimes the SB wants to dispense with the m&g and go directly to a private venue for our first meet.  I've had success with this before, but right now I find myself paranoid about it.  I've got a date set with a local girl for 2 days from now and she wants to go directly to a private meet.  How do I know she's not going to show up with a bad guy to rob me?

I know that Herb and others have recommended the use of reverse image searches.  I've tried TinEye but none of the images off of SA will load onto their site.  I've heard of reverse phone lookups too but never been able to make any of them work.  Got any specific or general ideas?  If not I may simply insist on a coffee date with her before we go BCD.

That’s why I insist on coffee or a bar first even if for a few minutes. Then if she checks out on my BS detector I go to my home (not a hotel) which is in a gated community and I have two 140 lb Brazilian mastiffs (worlds premier guard dog)— not kidding, 24 hour video surveillance, and an arsenal of guns. If an idiot partner in crime wants to try while I’m pounding his girl, more power to him. Although I would run if I were him when he sees those dogs running and hears the sound of a pump shotgun being racked (scariest sound I can imagine while trying to roll a place) and ofc he won’t hear before it’s too late the double action .45 already chambered with a round. Yes this is Texas...

You can’t really take a stranger to your home so most likely it’s a hotel. Maybe you can talk to them a bit in the hotel lobby but really we’re all rolling the dice.

If you don’t offer $ until the end of a successful visit, why bring any cash with you? Leave your gift in the car. Once you have met her and think she is legit, then you can proceed. A lot of them will insist on half upfront which is OK with me. They get ripped off too so I can understand their concerns. I will go down to my car and bring half the gift. After the visit, we go to my car and I give her another half. It has always worked with me. Yes, I have also been the victim of cash and dash several times when I first started. The ones who want to go BCD right away are most likely to do cash and dash so I will be very careful.

I can bring girls to my house, and have done so with great success many times. But never on a first date with a stranger.  I also live in a gated community and we have 3 police officers living here so there's almost always a cop car visible in the neighborhood, a strong deterrent to crime I think.  And like you I believe in protecting myself and my family and always have a sidearm handy with a round in the chamber.   I don't think my two kitty cats are as good a deterrent as your mastiffs though!

My normal venue for dating is to invite the girl to meet me in my very nice RV.  I park it somewhere convenient like a big shopping area with a large parking lot.  It's a nice cosy venue for a date and has worked many, many times for me.  Bringing a firearm and hiding it inside the RV is a possibility, but that level of paranoia makes me think I should just cancel the date.  The spot I've suggested for this date is in front of a big Target store.  It has a Starbucks inside, so if I don't cancel, I'll insist she meets me in the Starbucks so we can check each other out.  That's not complete insurance against her having an idiot partner in crime outside who could follow us to the RV and make trouble.  I have a concealed carry permit so I could be carrying, but again, if I feel that level of security is needed I should cancel.  

I now think this girl is going to flake on me anyway which is just as well.  She hasn't confirmed our plans for tomorrow or returned my messages in the last 24 hours.  

Generally, finding no "hits" on a reverse image search is better than finding hits linked to an IG or Pinterest account - which could mean the pics are stolen or that the POT is a GPS Queen. But finding hits on her Facebook account is a gold standard verification.  

 
Have you used Google and Bing to do the reverse image searches? I find TinyEye less effective than the search engines.  

 
For phone numbers, use Google again. Just type in the number in phone number format (nnn-nnn-nnnn). Use the dashes, not spaces. Again, less is more here. Getting dozens of hooker ads means, well, she's a hooker. Getting a hit for a 46 year old guy in Fresno tends to be bad, unless you can easily see that he is her father. Does the area code match her area? Before mobile phones, this used to be an absolute - a 212 area code always meant a New York location. But it's not as consistent today. Still generally useful though, as a POT usually gets a local area code on her new phone. And if her area code matches her "home" city, ex: she's from Boise and just moved to Austin for college, that's ok as well.  

 
Advanced technique: If you think you have her real name (at least 1st name) try searching her phone + name. Sometimes that will produce a hit with more info. Of course if you have her full name you can search that, and again using "+ facebook" or "+ twitter" or IG, etc.    

 
As to the 1st time BCD meet, it's judgement call.  I have done this a few times when my Spidey senses weren't going off.  

 
One idea would be to flip the script on what hookers do:  Give her an address near you, close enough for you to view her when she arrives, but far enough for you to ghost her/leave if you don't like what you see. Then when she texts you, tell her you finger-fumbled the number and give her the right address. You can probably do the same from the Target parking lot if there is a similar lot across the street...  

 
Ultimately, trust your instincts. If she's too insistent on meeting NOW and going BCD NOW - red flag.  Even if she's legit, that type of behavior usually means she'll be a one time BCD, and is not planning on anything recurring with you.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

"I've been the victim of cash and dash several times..."

You've nearly 20 years worth of escort history, yet haven't figured out how to safely TOFTT?  Granted, you're the only one on a SB team, unless you've a pal to share info with, but really?  Rule #1...use the big head rather than the small head when making these decisions.  The "go directly to a private venue" SB is akin to rolling the dice on a Vegas casino girl.  Patience, red flag awareness, and insistence "on a coffee date before...BCD" are paramount to staying safe and having rewarding sugar experiences.  In my experience, the sugar gems are the ones most reluctant to jump right into it, which should preclude most direct to BCD scenarios.  

This is all good advice. I never send money in advance.  Especially for first timers, I only have in my pocket the money we agreed on, no other money, no credit cards. If we meet at my home, I even hide my car key. I must be pretty lucky, because I have met 30 or so different SBs without problems, but I rely heavily on my spidey senses. If a POT doesn’t want to follow my rules in advance, I move on.  I tend to move on a lot, lol. There’s always another POT around the next corner.

Never go to the private venue first. I would rather risk not meeting vs going directly private. Always need a little time to let the spidey senses hone in and once your in a private setting, the small head pretty much dominates the decision making. Even if it’s only a drink, will give you time to see if she is legit on the surface. You have no idea if she is legit, a scam, or completely BSC and I would rather find that out at a bar (or whatever your personal venue of choice is) before getting back to the room or your house and find out she is completely nuts.

In addition to the "coffee shop before BCD" method, I use a "cannot have a strange auto in my driveway due to nosey neighbors" excuse. I then meet them at a nearby mall or theatre parking lot. I arrive a little early to ensure they drive in alone and are not being followed.  

You can talk in the parking lot or park far enough away to have time to talk while driving to you place. Either way, you can turn the car around before it is too late. Have not had an issue yet.

Don't think I have commented on this very much, so I'll do it now.  

 
I always arrive at a M&G early - at least 15 to 20 minutes. Why?  

 
1. I hate being late. After decades of business meetings and music gigs it's just built into my DNA.
2. You can recon the area for danger signs. Is the area safe? Where would bad guys be hiding? Is there anyone who looks like a bad guy in those hiding places?  How do I get out if I need to leave in a hurry? Who is around that could observe if I'm in distress, or who could call 911, or even intervene to help?  
3. You can find a place to sit/wait that allows you the best view of her arrival. If you can see her car, you can see if she's alone, and what she drives. And you can see how she's dressed, if she looks sketchy, etc.  Plus, nothing sucks more than arriving at your location and having your plan go sideways when there is nowhere to sit or the venue is closed (it's happened to me more than once).  
4. I usually text her to let her know I'm early. I specifically say something like:  "no need to rush, I just grabbed a seat/table. And I'm wearing a green shirt."   This usually prompts a reply like "My uber driver says 5 minutes" or "Thanks, I'll be parking soon."  if she doesn't reply, yellow flag she may be a no-show.  
5. If she does reply, I'll ask her if she wants me to order a beverage. The point is, if she's engaged in messaging you, green flag.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I often book a hotel room even on a "first date."  I check in and then text the room number to the SB.  She comes up and knocks on the door.  I look out the little peephole.  If she is alone (always has been) I let her in.  If there was some issue, I just wouldn't open the door.  Never happened, but I feel pretty safe.

That’s fine ...but if I did want to roll you, I would show up minutes later than my girl under the pretense of being hotel staff. Hotels are always videod at high end places (forget a motel) as we learned from the CL rapist but there’s ways around that too... bottom line we’re rolling the dice and I don’t feel “safe” until I’m driving away from the meet...

and believe it or not I have NEVER been a victim of a "cash and dash" by a Casino girl. lol

 
Of course I do take safeguards when engaging in such high risk behavior such as putting ALL my cash and valuables in the safe the minute I step into my room, NEVER paying in advance ETC ETC ETC.  and even then just because I have been able to make it well over forty years without ever getting rolled doesn't mean I would recommend it to others.

 
The same thing I suppose would apply to SBs. I have never had an SB pull a cash and dash on me either, I engage in behavior much riskier than most of you, including going right to BCD at my own home with an SB I have just met. That said, I live in Texas, I make it know I am VERY well armed and up until recently I have lived in a gated community with cameras etc that would discouraged all but the dumbest of criminals from attempting something on me.  Now that I have moved to a house on the lake without any security other than what I provide for myself, I imagine I will be a little less reckless in this regard.

 
Of course maybe there is a difference between having 20 years experience and having over 45 years of experience doing this kind of thing. I had twenty years of experience before there even was an internet, much less internet sites like what we use today. I think I just naturally have "my head on a swivel" when in any kind of situation that might turn dicey. I still remember dating several girls who were at least part time casino girls way back in the 70's when I was the same age as most of them. I know most guys here can't imagine fucking hookers without the benefit of being able to vet them through the internet, but the "bad old days" really weren't that bad at all if you knew what you were doing. A lot of those skills carry over into dating Sugar Babies of today.

The SB who prompted me to begin this thread had already tweaked my spidey senses as being sketchy.  When I proposed some basic protocols for our mutual safety, like meeting in the coffee shop and exchanging IDs, I never heard from her again.  So my instincts were right on.  Thanks for all the good advice!

Herb, this is great, specific advice. But maybe I'm too tech challenged to make it work.  I tried searching several phone numbers, including my own, on Google as you suggested.  All I get is a loooong list of services offering phone number look ups for a fee.  I've tried several of them in the past and NEVER had any results.  If I got hooker ads or a guy in Fresno, at least I'd know my search was doing something. All I get are these ads and links to pay services.  As for reverse image searches on Google and Bing, how do you do that?

For reverse image search, Google Images lets you search by uploading a copy of the pic.  Which means right clicking and saving a copy of the pic(s) you're interested in and saving it to your drive (you can delete later).  I think you may now also be able to "copy" said pics and past them into the search browser.  That said, for me the image search has come up empty 9 times out of 10.  Often times they just don't have the same pics posted anywhere else publicly.  I've actually had better luck with the reverse phone number search services, though sometimes those don't yield any information either.  Most common reason is that they are using a burner number (which I can understand).  

Exactly the way to do it! We get in trouble when the little head pushes us to ignore the signs.