This is awkward. I am a 53 y/o guy, totally heterosexual, have never had any erotic or sensual thoughts about another guy. sometimes I find myself wondering what it is like to give a guy a blowjob. I know how great it feels to be on the receiving end and know what feels great to me. i just woner what it feels like to have someone shoot cum into your mouth and what it tastes like.

I am too embarrased to ask anyone else except the love goddess. Am I a latent homosexual (I really doubt it -- the thought of kissing another guy leaves me cold!)? is there a safe way to act out my fantasy? Thanks!

No question too awkward here, Pielover,

If you doubt that you are a latent homosexual, then we'll have to honor that and go with your statement. I do believe that people know themselves better than anyone else in the final analysis.

Now: you are having some phantasies..good! There's nothing wrong having cocksucking imaginations, millions of people do, regardless of gender. As to a safe way to act out your phantasy? We've gone this route before on this board, believe it or not. I was roundly criticized for suggesting that it would be dangerous for a man to suck another gay man's cock unprotected. The criticism circled around the fact that I didn't feel the same way about heterosexual providers giving BBBJs.

And guess what: I still am of the opinion that doing anything bareback in the gay community is riskier than providing a BBBJ to a heterosexual, non-drug using hobbyist. There are major outbreaks of syphilis all over the gay communities. HIV is on the rise again, because gay men now feel it's a treatable chronic disease, rather than a harbinger of death. Of course, there is scant evidence of anyone contracting HIV from oral sex, but there are other nasty things you could get...syphilis, chlamydia, etc. So anyone out there doing barebacking [yes, heterosexual hobbyists/providers included] is at risk. The question is just HOW MUCH at risk and how do we evaluate the risk on the spot?

So back to your situation again. I wouldn't advocate sucking a gay man's cock [I don't think you'll get a heterosexual guy to offer himself up, alas] unless you know him well and he's been tested to the nth degree. On the other hand, I guess you could visit a lovely preop TS lady who's "fully functional" as they say in porno parlance and go at it fully protected? That way, she'll look like a girl [if you so choose] but she'll still have that package you are wondering about. As to doing it bareback, it's a no-no in any kind of situation, TS, regular provider, etc. Unless you really, really know the person, don't do it. Just don't.

Finally, some phantasies remain the most powerfully arousing, simply because they are just that - our own imagination. Maybe this is one of those. And maybe it should just stay that way.

Whatever you do, best be safe...and not sorry,
the Love Goddess

You're not gay.  It just shows that you are sexually aware and might even be *blossoming*!

My sig other is about as virile as they come, but I think it's very hot to go down on a man _with_ him, and he loves to feel the cum in his mouth.  Ithink it's bc you guys have spent years watching us be so sexy "going down" and the curiosity gets the better of you!

If you ever want to experiment in a nice, relaxed atmosphere, myself and mine would be happy to oblige you

I also had the fantasy and went the TS route.....covered of course.  I found it not only  interesting but fullfilling.....no pun intended! I still think of that evening and get turned on by thought of doing it again.  My ? LG is.....(without prejudice on my part, In twenty words or less(only kidding) can you give me an understanding of a TS Psyche and their need to become a women. I know this is random based on the original post but thought I might ask you.  Thanks as always you brillant woman.

Dear cafekid,

In 20 words or less...hmmm...simply this, from my own beady mind:
Transsexualism is a brain condition. A multitude of research points to processes occurring during fetal gestation, as well as differences in brain structures between trans and non-trans individuals. Transsexualism affects one in 10,000 men and one in 30,000 women. The subject, regardless of sexual orientation, feels vastly uncomfortable in his/her birth gender and wishes s/he were of the opposite sex. If unaddressed, the condition seems to worsen with age.

Many TG [transgender, an umbrella term] individuals go through isolation and feeling like misfits in childhood, a hellish adolescence when the body becomes a confirmation of the "wrong" sex, and frequent repression and denial of those feelings in early to mid-adulthood.

In middle age, it appears that the feelings of discomfort markedly increase, and the individual tries to make a break for sanity by transitioning. Unfortunately, at that point, many TG persons are coupled  and/or have nuclear families. It is then up to the family to accept that their spouse/parent wants to transition.

Most TG individuals who transition give up a great deal financially, emotionally, and, until recently, legally, since stigmatization toward those who "dare transgress" against societal gender norms figures prominently across the board. Until just a few years ago, TG indviduals were not able to transition on the job, thereby getting fired, never rehired, and further marginalized. Many TG women who are heterosexual [meaning, TG women who have men as their partner preference] have had to go into prostitution just to survive [since they have not been able to obtain legal employment.]

Many states now recognize that TG individuals have a bona fide medical problem. Various cities and states, California among them, have enacted anti-discrimination and hate crime laws that provide for more protection toward TG persons. The city of San Francisco has extended hormone replacement and genital surgery benefits toward TG employees; in addition, the HR departments at some progressive, large corporations have included TG indviduals as part of their diversity hiring policies.

As to your original question - why MTF [male to female] TG individuals want to become women: their brains are simply signaling that there is a problem with the body they are trapped in. Once such an individual receives estrogen-progesterone-antiandrogen treatment, feelings of discomfort and mental stress subside, and the person is able to move forward with her life. The same goes for FTM [female-to-male] transsexuals.

Hope that helped,
the Love Goddess

Thanks so much for your carefully thought-out answer (as always!). In the final analysis, I think it's just a fantasy -- not to be acted out. It's one of those things that makes our ability to fantasize so wonderful! You are absolutely right about the risks -- not even close to being worth it in my mind! At least I can rest assured that I'm not too abnormal! Thanks again. You are truly THE Love Goddess!

Great response -- thanks! I'll stick with my fantasies for now, anyway, and enjoy being on the giving end!