The Erotic Highway

SB asking for more allowance...
herbtcat 6 Reviews 475 reads
posted

The previous thread on negotiating PPM after the 1st BCD suggests I discuss a related, and probably unavoidable topic with any SB that's been in your rotation for more than a few months:  asking for more sugar.  
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Context:  The SB in question has been with me for about 6 months. When we first met, she wanted time to get to know me and be comfortable with me before committing to BCD.  I structured the allowance to encourage this to happen quickly, but even so, we didn't go BCD until our 5th meeting. The allowance plan: meeting w/o BCD = $100.  Meeting with BCD = $300. What's interesting about this structure is that even after going BCD, we still have meetings where it doesn't happen.  She lives an hour away from me (something she did not disclose until after we had met), and sometimes we go to an event, concert/movie, shopping, etc., and she decides she's tired and wants to head home for an early work day the next morning.  Now some of you will surely castigate me for "paying to watch her eat" (for the vocabulary-challenged out there - not saying that's Sweetman, but  :p - castigate = bitch-slap), but I do enjoy hanging with her and the BCD sessions, when they happen, are off the chart.  
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So now she's asking me for more, citing the mix of activity/sugar is not meeting her needs. She suggested she may need to take on a second part-time job, thus reducing her available time for me. Of course, I give exactly zero fucks about that, especially as she has resisted my mentoring and offers to help her/coach her in finding a better job aligned with her career objectives. Since she does not know about my (and perhaps does not suspect I have) other SB's, she doesn't realize her barging power is virtually zero.  Add to this the never-ending arrival of 15-20 new 18-21 year old profiles a month who live less than 10 miles from me, and I put her at the bottom of my A-list Rotation anyway.  
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My current reply is threefold:  1. I'll think about it, 2. I might be in a better position to do that in April-May once I've completed a real estate deal,  and 3. Let's plan on more nights in and less going out.  Last night we had dinner at a new Italian place nearby then went home and knocked it out for 4 hours. She slept over (as she has in the past) and left around 5 am to go to work. I gave her $350. That's a 16.6% raise! But for me it was just money I didn't spend on other things for her like a good bottle of wine at dinner or some gift.  So I'll see how that plays out.  I'll prioritize for BCD-only meets and my total spend will actually be less, even after the "pay raise," and I'll see how it goes.  
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How have the rest of you handled this?  
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Life is good.
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The Cat

Posted By: herbtcat
My current reply is threefold:  1. I'll think about it, 2. I might be in a better position to do that in April-May once I've completed a real estate deal,  and 3. Let's plan on more nights in and less going out.
I have no SB experience, but that won't stop me from chiming in.  #1: Depending on how it's presented and for how long it persists, "I'll think about it." is a very dissatisfying answer to a request.  Whether it's a kid asking a parent for permission to do something or an employee asking a boss for a raise, "I'll think about it." is often heard as a disappointing NO, but delayed.  
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#2 at least provides a specific time frame and optimistic linkage to your deal. ("I made a fortune on that deal! Sorry, no raise for you." would sting badly.) (Or, "I'm sorry, deal fell through." At least she was given a set deadline to prepare herself.)
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#3 is pretty clear and, if it was me, would surely serve MY interest (more BCD!) and could serve her interest as well: net higher $ per hour.  
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So, mostly, be careful about how she takes #1.

GaGambler101 reads

There is a very simple solution for this kind of thing going forward, although it may be too late to reverse course with this girl since a precedent has already been set. I NEVER pay for non BCD dates, NEVER. I have on a couple of occasions given the girl a few bucks because I felt sorry for her on a date where we didn't go BCD, but I made it very clear that she wasn't getting "paid" for going on a date with me, but that I just felt bad for her circumstances and to just consider it a one time gift.

 
I don't mind at all going on non BCD dates, but let me repeat "I NEVER pay for them" it just sets a bad precedent and ultimately leads to the situation you now find yourself in.

 
The good news of course is that losing her won't make much of an impact on your life so you still have a chance of saving this. Here is my suggestion. In sales you are taught to Isolate the objection, agree with it, and then "overcome" it. The objection of course is she needs "more money" IMHO you need to agree with her (whether you actually do or not) that you understand that she has needs, and then suggest you two go for Quality over Quantity, IOW Suggest to her that you guys see less of each other (This keeps you from looking like she has the upper hand) but that the times you do see each other are more of the $300 dates and less of the $100 dates. Personally I think you should do away with the $100 dates altogether, not just with her, but I think you should take them TOTALLY out of your repertoire.

 
Lastly, you might also consider making the 16.6% "raise" permanent, I am sure it makes no difference to your pocket, but it might incentivize her into having more dates like your last one. It's also a solution where you can both feel like winners. You certainly don't want her resenting her dates with you. This way she gets more money and you get more pussy, sounds like a win/win to me.

Firstly, thanks for acknowledging my vocabulary!  But secondly, I'm gonna bitch slap you anyway. It's true that a BCD date that does not also include going out to a show or dinner can save some money and make giving her a few bucks on a non BCD date seem innocent enough.  But it just sets a dreadful precedent and skews the expectations.  Don't do it.  My SBs know that I will gladly pay for all non BCD activities, but they don't receive cash from me unless it's after a BCD session.  For example, I have one fascinating 23yo SB with whom I share a wide variety of interests, from my passion for motorcycles to her passion for Jungian philosophy.  The last time I saw her we went out to lunch, and spent over an hour browsing her favorite book store.  I paid for the lunch and the books she wanted and bought her a book of e.e.cummings poetry which she loved!  Then I took her home.  Both of us were just not up for a sexual romp that day and we established that fact shortly after our date began. However, the previous time we met for dinner I took her to her favorite local pizza place, then took her home for an overnight date that included plenty of sex plus her usual cash allowance.  Tonight we're meeting once again.  I got tickets to a film festival.  So we'll get dinner, watch the movies, and after that, not sure.  But she get's $$ if she comes home with me, otherwise not.  We're both extremely comfortable with this set up.  And the added benefit is that I know for a fact that she enjoys my company for lots of worthy reasons beyond the sex and the money.

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