Made me wonder...

If you're in a non-monogamous relationship, you can't cheat and you can't get caught.  
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But that doesn't mean I tell my #1 SB every time I bang another SB or a pro. I have also asked her not to tell me about anyone else that she "dates."  
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I just ask that if she does anything bare she get's tested before seeing me again. And I do the same.  There's a tremendous amount of trust needed to pull that off. So far it appears to be working.  
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And being the sugar world version of "poly" doesn't quite equate to each of us having a feeling of compersion * for the other. I really don't want to know about how some guy with a bigger dick or better tongue than mine (or worse, a bigger wallet!) made her happy. And she doesn't want to know about the younger, hotter, skinnier and hornier 19 year old cheerleader or porn star that just KMSO twice before breakfast.  
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So I use the Clinton doctrine (no, not that one!):  Don't ask, don't tell.

Nevertheless, the concept of a "sugar world version of "poly" " is interesting.  I do practice polyamory both in my marriage and my Sugar Dating.  So maybe I'm more comfortable with it, but I do enjoy hearing my SBs tell me stories about other guys they are dating.  Generally I don't know who they are and feel little to no compersion.  But it's fun, especially when they bitch about how rude the other guy was and how sweet and I am and how much better I fuck them!

GaG is very insightful on everything, getting caught for married men can be a big problem and even bigger mess if he cannot talk his way out of it.

I believe you are correct. My need to "cheat" and my past history of being cheated on is probably the main reason why I'm not married. Or it's because I'm too old, fat and ugly to lock down a wife. :p  
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But the concept of cheatinng extends to any potentially monogamous relationship.  Most of my SB's persist that they only want "one, true SD", or at least they try to persist the illusion with me.  I know it's not true, as there is no way the minimal sugar I give them once or twice a month could cover thier funding gap.  But  I do have two SB's who have either deactivated or shut down thier profiles after establishing an arrangement with me (and probably 2 or 3 additonal SD's).  How do I know they didn't just block me? I have 2 alt profiles and can't find them with those either.  The rest of my SB's are agresivly (read: daily) using the site to find new/additional SD's.  
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It's an interesting little fantasy that the "one and only" SB's like to maintain, which ultimately, means nothing.  
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You observation about level of compersion is interesting as well.  It doesn't sound like you are jealous, but you do feel some level of competiveness with other SD's. Maybe it's a lower level of compersion vs. jealousy. It's more like if you were a chef. You know your favorite customer is going to get meals from other chefs, but you want to know your "cuisine reigns supreme."

I've been with hookers, FWB's and SB's off-and-on for about 18 years.  Never been caught, but have had some really close calls:
-A BSC SB secretly followed me home.  When I ended the arrangement, she mailed a letter to my house detailing everything.  I typically open the mail and intercepted the letter.
  Lessons learned:  Let them down easy.  This SB never requested any $ and after 6 months of sex, she wanted more.
-Daughter looking for a pen found my burner phone and cash in my briefcase.  Cash easily explained as I typically keep "emergency" funds in my wallet.  Happened to "find the phone" in the gym and planned to return it.  Wife bought both stories.
  Lesson learned:  Burner phone never goes into the house.  Ever.
-Heading into a hotel for a midday rendezvous, and ran into a co-worker in the parking lot.
  Lesson learned:  Always have my work briefcase.  Ready made excuse that I am going to or coming from a meeting.
-FWB husband called my Google number which rings to my actual cell phone and threatened me.  Turns out that he called every number of his now ex-wife's cell phone.  Didn't know me from anyone else.
  Lesson learned:  No more married women FWB's, no more Google phone
-Meeting a SB on out of country trip.  Burner didn't work, so called her using my Google phone app.  She replied via text which shows up on my iPhone messages.  
 Lesson learned:  No more Google phone
Even though I paid with cash, hotel charged my credit card anyway (has happened more than once)
  Lesson learned:  Secret credit card

It wouldn't surprise me at all if your wife (and your kid) more than suspect your "secret life" but, for whatever reason, don't want to upset the status quo.  I believe if you set up a panel of 100 married woman, 90% would say their husbands probably cheat.

That's probably because 90% of the husbands either do cheat, or seriously think about it.  
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Note: Not my area of expertise or experience. But I couldn't resist adding a comment. :p

I would venture 99%.
These men are just leading their fantasy.

Well My one:
My wife texted me that one of my friends from Europe was meeting her about an event that needed to be styled...
I showed up to check it out and there was my wife meeting with my ATF escort (a very recognisable actress) who "sought her out based on the recommendation I gave her while she was modelling for one of the companies I was working with.
I just went with it and in the planning process my ATF tried to seduce my wife (which I may have mentioned would be pretty cool during one of our get togethers) - it was pretty fucking funny TBH.
She had the event and when it was over, it was over with my ATF as well, who I'm pretty damn sure did it for laughs...
To this day, I can't help but think how it all would of ended had my wife responded to her overture...
After the event, I was like "babe why did you even work with that looney bitch - I told you she was nuts when I was working with her..."
To this day - my two favourite girls in the world...

eom

KMSO = Knock My Socks Off.

Google calendar was my close call. It was actually my first time overnighting a SB. I was driving there when the wife texted in a panic, saying my hotel reservation popped up on her calendar. Thank god a friend was in town who I sometimes crash with. I had him vouch for me and claim he used our business card to book a room. I even had him stop by the house the next day.  

I honestly thought it was "Kill My Significant Other" although I didn't read it in the context of your original comment...

Um... I really think you need to go outside more, Tank. :P

True that - In fact I'm headed to Mammoth in a couple of hours )

90% of SB reading this would think it's non-fictional - lol

eom

I'm so glad I'm marginally illiterate regarding tech, apps, etc.  Of course my GGG wife would just laugh and enjoy my escapades!  As it is, she asks me to write down my scheduled dates with my SBs on our calendar (yes a paper calendar you write on with a pen) so she doesn't accidentally book us for some other activity when I'm gonna be out playing.  Now if I could just get her and her BF to schedule their overnight playdates at his house in advance I'd know when my home is gong to be free to entertain a SB!

-- Modified on 3/2/2018 12:34:41 AM

I make hotel reservations using Hotel.com or Hotwire.  Just last week, made reservation per usual and Google auto populated the reservation form with my real email address and cell phone number.  In my haste of the moment, didn't change the info and sure enough I received the customary check-in notifications to my email address which my wife has access.  Fortunately caught my oversight and marked both Hotel.com and Hotwire as spam!

So who was your wife with on her birthday??

Visiting her brother who lives out of state.  But who knows...maybe she has a FWB!  Wouldn't bother me at all.  Would love to have an "open marriage".

... my experience with almost getting caught was buying my first burner phone.  I stupidly brought it inside the house and then after the wife went to bed early, I pulled it out to set it up.  Sure enough - for no good reason - she comes downstairs to check if she locked the back door.  I heard her and hid it quickly in the laundry room.  Then for no other reason than she is a woman - after checking the door she goes into the laundry room and finds it.  I don't know how I was able to lie my way out of that one - she is probably still suspicious.  
My lesson... as another poster indicated earlier... no phone (or anything related to sugaring) inside the house - period.

How do you guys play the phone game with Thea wayfarer babies if you don’t have a phone in the house?  

"My lesson... as another poster indicated earlier... no phone (or anything related to sugaring) inside the house - period."

Cancelled my membership to SA. Gotta get out of the bowl.  An angry husband found me.  Good thing is I never did anything with his wife.    I talked him off the ledge but I’m calling it a career.  I am out.  You Be careful out there.  

You're all good amigo! The chances of that happening twice are less than zero...

Sounds like a scary situation, but I'm glad you talked the guy back down to the ground.  A few questions, if you don't mind?  
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1. Did you know she was married while you were messing her, and was it indicated on her profile?  
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2. Assuming it was on her profile or she let you know early on, do you (or did you) normally meet married SB's?
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3. Did he "find" you (and presumably contact you) by phone, email, mobile app, or in person/face to face?
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4. Did the guy happen to say if he was aware of any other men (or women?) his wife seeing?
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Note:  I am not suggesting any point of view on whether you should or should not meet married SB's.  I don't but there are others here who do or even prefer it for thier own reasons. I'd just like to understand more of the context of how/why the hubby ended up finding you.  

I didn’t know she was married.  I didn’t ever meet her, she did send me pictures (clean) to my phone. No I wouldn’t see married SBs.  He found her phone which led to my FB page which led to my family etc.  I paid him off thru PayPal.   Now we’re both dirty.   I don’t know if she has seen others.  I didn’t have a strong negotiation base to ask.  I think I got all the questions, yes.  I have since locked down all my social media.  

Fuck Dude, for all you know she was in on the scam.

Wondering if this is a game they play, to extort money.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Has her profile been deleted?

Sorry to hear all that.  Absolutely agree with GaGa on the privacy issue.  I'm married, but use a burner phone (separate phone number), tied to a generic e-mail (fake name and info) and generic FB account (matching fake name and info).  The FB account only ties back to the burner number and generic e-mail.  I just have very limited info on there and all pictures are covered face shots.  If someone really wanted to find out who was behind those - I'm sure they could - but I'm hoping not to tick someone off enough for them to take all that time to attempt doing that.  
 The FB account also is set on maximum privacy.  ...And even with all that, I am still worried about my identity.

I wonder if ignoring the guy would make it go away. Act like they’re just a scammer if they post publicly.

How the fuck did they get on your FB page? That's just crazy (particularly so early on in the process)...

I didn’t cover up my FB, all anyone needed to do was search my phone on it and you’d find me.   And my wife, military son, military bro in law etc.  I couldn’t take that chance.  But what I did get was a name, cell phone and email tied to a PayPal account.  If he comes back for more then I go to the police.  He knows that, I know that.  He seemed ashamed of himself in the end, he seemed like he knew he had issues at home too.  So I cancelled my account.  And I’ll leave it that way.  I locked down my social media, it won’t happen again.  If I get back into the pool I’ll make sure it’s not traceable.  Yes she is off SA

In the face of blackmail/extortion I'd ask for a few hours to collect funds, in reality I would begin setting up a sting with the police. Someone pulls that shit with me and they'll do time in the pen.

Definitely a good wake-up call to all (or at least most) of us to keep our guards up.  I've tried to use all the same common-sense measures as I did in the hobby world (separate emails, phone, no social media, etc), but I also know how the more personal feelings of the sugar world can blur those lines and make it easy to let things slip, and then you never know.  Glad the worst of the scare seems to be over for you.  Agree with some of the others that it stinks of a planned scam and the other side of it deserves to be brought down, but its hard to focus on that when the chance losing your family and home is staring you in the face.