I feel like this may have been discssed here previously, but my inept searching has turned up nothing. Apologies if I'm retreading old ground.
I've been dabbling in the sugar bowl with mixed success over the past couple of years, while still seeing escorts, including one I've seen probably twenty-five times or more over the past three years or so. Her rates are very high, but she's worth it. A search result on SA has turned up a profile I'm almost certain is hers. If this is indeed her on SA, I'd love to try to work an arrangement with her that would let me see her more often and for longer at a cost below her hourly rate. I'm not sure how to approach her though. I can't imagine a message on SA along the lines of "Hey, aren't you [hooker name]?" would go over very well. But I'm not sure an overture to her in her capacity as an escort to see if she wants to cut a SB deal is the best plan either. I'm hoping someone here has some advice or experience to share. And in case the reason for the use of the alias isn't obvious, I know she reads these boards from time to time and don't want to give myself away.-- Modified on 2/15/2018 6:59:30 PM
... from her perspective. She will soon get a question from you that will be interpreted like this:
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"I know I fuck you now for $$$$$ but is it ok if I keep fucking you for $$ since you also advertise on the down-low on this other site? Oh and I'll want you to spend twice as much time with me when we fuck, too. And, what the fuck, once in a while I'll pick up a bag of Mickey D's for you in case you get the munchies, 'cause, you know, I really care!"
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Not lilely to be successful, right?
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My advice is to never mention SA. Just start suggeting you think she's cool and after a session invite her out for some non-sexual social time where you treat her to dinner, a movie or wine tasting, or a little bling shopping. Maybe book yourself for her last session of the day and offer to take her to dinner as a friend after the session. If she's interested you can gently start to suggest a few days down the road that you like hanging with her and would like to explore something where you hang out and help her with bills.
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Let it develp as a natural extention/evolution of your current relationship. Not as you trying to get a cheaper fuck.
See if you can message with her and agree to an allowance amount and a M&G without sending your picture at all. Claim discretion. If she's a hooker she'll probably agree. Once you meet her - voila! She can't retract the deal.
well, yes she can...but will she
She and I had a very open minded relationship and we talked a lot about dating and how to find dates. She recommended SA to me and said she had found some good dates there and thought I might find some hot dates there too! Which of course is exactly what happened. But I think she insisted on her normal pro rates regardless of which site someone used to find her. Time has passed. I know she's a top TER rated escort these days with a very high price tag. And even though (according to her) I've known her longer than any other client, she does not offer me a discount.
However, if you have an easy communication with your escort friend, I see no harm in discussing the situation. Tell her you were browsing on SA and ask her if she's ever used it to find dates. If she says yes, you might ask if the idea of a more regular, ongoing less transactional arrangement appeals to her, since it's you understanding that's what SA is all about. She'll let you know if she's interested in altering the nature of your relationship or not.
Pros often ask me to tell them about about SA if I mention it. I think they are either just curious or considering it as a glide path from straightforward escorting to something more civilian or mistress-like.
If it seems like the latter situation, I wouldn't contact her on SA, but bring it up in person (as suggested above). Start with a question about whether she is familiar with SA and acknowledge that you have dabbled in the sugar bowl if she asks. Then ask her if this is something that she might consider. However, most of the women I have had this discussion with opt for closing off the list of clients and just seeing old friends rather than joining or staying on SA.
SA is kind of like the kiddie pool. I think it is a feeder team to escorting for the very young if they find that they really like P4P. However, most of the SA college girls seem to be more interested in extra spending money for shoes, purses, and nights out until graduation.
There are some great SA ladies who are a bit older (25-40), but they are usually looking for more of a mistress relationship in my experience and would prefer to suspend their SA membership when they have found someone they click with.
Don't approach her on SA. Ask her next time you see her in person. I've done this 4 times and 3 times, I was offered a date and BCD at steep discount. The one time it didn't quite work out was for logistic reasons. She lived far away and would need $$$$ to justify travelling to me although she would happily do it for $1000, which is maybe half of what she would make working as a pro for a day. And these weren't even providers I knew THAT well. I think I'd only seen these pros once or twice before when I brought this up.
I asked them in a positive tone at the end of a good session. "Are you on SA? I think I saw you on there!" All of these girls immediately admitted it was their profile and then asked to see mine. A couple of the girls immediately asked to be my sugar baby and sugar dates ensued for only their single hour rates of 300 and 400. Another asked to see some pics of my other sugar babies and when she saw a hot one, asked if I wanted to do a 3 some with her. I said yes, but we would have to do it as fuck buddies without pay. She says, "I don't care, I just want to fuck her." and gives me her Instagram and Snapchat accounts so I can set it up. Turns out my girl wasn't into the pro (probably jealous) and I later had some doubts about introducing them to each other; I didn't want my unicorn SB to get pro rates in her head. So that never happened. I still have that pro on social media though, and we're likely going to do some off the clock sessions at some point.
There was one pro I started to see UTR for $200-$400 an overnight. I later found her on SA and messaged her, wanting to pull her chain a bit. She replied back offering $1000 for a date. I kept negotiating with her just for fucks sake and surprisingly, she actually went along with it. We settled on $600 if there's "chemistry" on the meet and greet (meaning if I'm not ugly). I then said, "You know you once spent a weekend with me for $400 and a really good time." after which she says, "I thought it was you! LOL!". This was before I had face pics in my profile.
Make a "first date" on SA with her and meet in a public place. When you meet up and recognize each other you can both have a big laugh, a nice evening and hopefully discounted sex. If you don't get the discount, you haven't lost anything and if you don't you should never bring her rate up in a pro date with her.
Some very well-considered advice all around, for which I thank you all. I agree with the consensus that some sort of direct approach is best, so next time I see her I’ll mention that I believe I saw her profile on SA and would love to discuss some form of ongoing arrangement if she’s willing.
Hopefully, I’ll have some positive news to report soon.
One thing I forgot to mention was that the girls I asked weren’t career pros. All in the 18-22 range and only doing p4p once every month or two. For that crowd, having a sugar daddy makes perfect sense since they still find most of their johns revolting and would prefer someone familiar even if it meant less cash. I think a lot of newer pros could easily be talked into the sugar bowl. I just don’t normally do it because it could be construed as steeling girls from the pimps, but if I see the girl’s ad on SA, she’s fair game, IMO. I would still avoid totally sugaring up a pro though, unless she’s Indy. My sessions were in addition to their work and not instead of heir work.
I can’t imagine a seasoned pro going to SA unless it’s to look for a whale daddy to marry before she loses her looks. Most would already have a set of regular johns that are almost the same as sugar daddies.