LG I sometimes wonder if it will last... I no longer have sex with my SO (Lt 2 in 6 years). The other night the power went out and I said lets go make love.. No response.
Lack of sex is why I hobby. Then I saw a show on woman's sexuality.. Basically all the possible reasons a woman can loose her sex drive. We had a blowout about 1.5 years ago where we discussed our situation and she insisted she still had the urge to have sex. But after seeing the show I wonder if she is just in denial. She is +15yrs on me and personally I am in the work mode looking forward to retirement at 55 and the hobby seems to get me by. (but still depressed) But when my life changes and my emotional state has not improved I am not sure what I should do? It will be a turning point for me..

Any ideas how I can show her the way to help without being too intrusive. It is a sensitive subject that usually ends in a fight with many accusations and S**t flying. If I can not make a course correction will I be doomed to a unhappy life?

Dear Orgasmathon,

Well, you can lead a mare to water, but you can't make her drink. If you're pushing 50+ and she's got 15 years on you, then it's clear that she has no luteinizing hormone surge, no testosterone, no progesterone and no estrogen in her system. Hence, she's like a sterile medfly - sex no longer holds any significance or attraction in her life. Just simple arousal may take her so long that it'll be like in the Woody Allen segment below....except in this case, there's pretty much NOTHING that will get her off.

So what can you do? Well, implore her to get with someone who prescribes bio-identical hormones and see what happens. One argument for it is that her general health surely will improve - and NO, bio-identical hormones do NOT cause cancer. You can go to my website (click on the banner on the left hand side) and see the referral physician's page. If you're not in LA, you can call the doc and his office will refer you to someone in your area. Beyond that, it will be like beating your head against a wall. As to "doomed to an unhappy life;" it depends on how much sex with your wife means to you. If it's a deal-breaker, then you may continue to suffer. On the other hand, why not offer her to have sex with someone else, if she's got the urge? Maybe she's JUST NOT INTO YOU, as that pop psychology book would have it.

Enjoy the film clip,
The Love Goddess

One of the best decisions I made in the last year was to give my spouse a permanent pass in the sexuality department.  I am in my mid 50's and she is in her low 60's.  About a decade ago, she lost the ability to climax.  About 5 years ago, she lost the ability to self-lubricate and give a shit about sex.  About a year ago, she offered a BBBJTCNSNQ once every 10 or 15 days to fulfill her wifely duties, but my ability to release was predicated on what provider I had seen and how many days it had been since I can't pitch very well on less than three days of rest anymore.  

Well, early this year, I acted less than interested just once and have never again been offered anything by my wife.  I have turned my complete attention to providers who assure my sexual fulfillment.  I am more at peace about visiting them and my wife is happy to be my housemate and a grandmother.  The dynamic of our relationship is better than it has been for years. Also, since I test once every six months, I used to worry about barebacking the wife.  No more concerns there either.

Just my story....

what he's saying to Fabrizio, his friend (who questions his manhood): that he's endowed like a French baguette, and it's STILL not working. After getting a map of her erogenous zones from her father and following it carefully, it's still not working. And as you see, there WAS a solution to the problem - she flatly tells him in the end that "as long as we do it out in the open," she will have no problems with orgasms.

The original has subtitles in this clip and the entire film is truly hilarious,
The Love Goddess

remembering that line and that scene (from either Annie Hall or Play It Again Sam- damn, I'm losing it) has helped me on more than one occasion when I needed to make sense out of some absurd situation.  Yes, relationships sure can be fun!

Woody's take off of the typical Italian romance films of the '60s is so nuanced that I get the point without the translation.

Ironically enough, the last time I saw the film was in Italy.

From Love and Death:

Responding to Diane Keaton who is trying to temper Woody's urges by claiming that "Sex without feeling is an empty experience."

Woody retorts:

"Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."

A lot of food for thought in that one.