Lately, I've been pondering some of the concepts that we use to define our sugar relationships.  

 
For most of us, we spend a lot of time talking about things like allowance, schedule, preferences in and outside the bedroom, and what we expect about sex with other people - for us and for her.  

 
This brings me to my current musing:  Is the last question about being monogamous? Or is it about being exclusive? And more to the point, is there a difference?  

 
For me, monogamy speaks more to the emotional relationship between me and my SB, while exclusivity speaks more to limiting my sexual partners to only her as long as the SR is ongoing.  But is this a distinction without a difference?  

 
While I will never commit to either, I have had SB's who told me they intend to be both. In addition, (with apologies to Papa Sweet) I will allow my SB to assume that I am exclusive, without actually lying to her. Early on in the arrangement, as early as the M&G, I will tell her I do not require her to be exclusive, as I would not presume to control her or her time. When we are together, we are together. When we are apart, we live our separate lives.  The implication is there: What goes for you, goes for me. But I leave that part unsaid.  

 
How do you approach these concepts?  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I like to think that I practice consent impeccably.  And one of the pillars of consent is that it is fully informed.  Informed consent, to me, means sharing with my SBs all the information relevant to her ability to make an informed decision.  So yeah, I always disclose my non-monogamous and non-exclusive status early in the conversation.  I will text or say something like this:  I'm not seeking or offering anything exclusive. There may be others in my life as I assume there may be others in yours.  

 
It's a small difference for sure.  But I need to be that little bit more explicit in order to feel comfortable.  And as I've said here recently, there's no one right way to do sugar dating.  Do what feels right to you.

I tell the lady early on that I understand Im not giving her enough for me to expect her to be exclusive  and leave it at that.

I may have spurred this thought experiment.

I'll give my normal and now my new normal.

My normal is, I don't want a girl sleeping around.  I don't need drama or an STD.  And I prefer to not use condoms when in a sugar relationship.  So, I limit my number of SBs to ones I think are being careful.  Goal always was 1-2 dates a week.  Realistically, I've rarely had a girl who would commit to that long term.  Usually, they get enough $ to get by and fuck off till bills are due.  That's why I always had a few SBs at a time.  

I've gone monogamous with a few girls in the past who were consistent.  They enjoyed the stability and knowing they would have fun with me, ie Date Night.  My last GF/SB did not have a fixed work schedule and she was quite scatterbrained.  So we agreed I would let her stay at an apartment but I got dates consistently and lots of sex.  But, she would travel for work so I was allowed something on the side.  Had to be careful not to catch anything and bring it home.  That lasted almost 2 years with 2 years before of her being just a SB.  It melted down this summer and now I have a restraining order against her, long story.

New normal, I have a GF/SB again.  We have date night every weekend.  Sex, dinner, conversation.  She texts with me almost daily sending cute pics and saying hi.  She has made it clear in the past her goal is to move to the US.  She's already in the process, but you can imagine it's not easy to do.  Will this head towards a marriage?  With a nearly 30 year age gap?  Who knows.  But for now, I'm getting what I need out of it.  She's a lot of fun to spend time with.  Very caring, she's cooking for me.  Didn't ask for more money when I know she needed it.  Her Christmas wishlist is a bit pricey, but nothing surprised me on it.  I'm not subscribed to any sugar sites at the moment.  Not on dating apps.  Gonna let this ride and see how well it goes.  If I'm hurting to get laid mid-week I can cover up and see an escort.