The Erotic Highway
envelope on the counter
The Cat
I'm hoping this provider bubble pops soon 
The Cat
I use the card in an envelope method and set it on a counter or a table inside the hotel room or her apartment and I say "this is for you" -- making sure she sees me setting the card down.
If it's the first BCD, a couple of things can be accomplished -- if she basically trusts you, then it sets her mind at ease and the date is more relaxed and the flow is smoother. On the other hand, if she opens the envelope and counts the money, then I get a feel for her long-term intentions. I won't say the first scenario results in a relaxed date 100% of the time, but I will say that I've never had a second date with a woman that opened the envelope and counted the money at the beginning of the first BCD. After the first date, I just drop the card in the same spot that I left it on the first date. So, I guess you could say that I pay at the beginning of the date. But I agree with Herb that "when" is much more flexible with an SB than with an escort.I'm trying to figure out if PPM has an implied BCD. If I'm reading the room right BCD is just that, a regular date where traditionally the guy pays for date expenses and so far you're just "friends" hoping for more. I shouldn't expect to start helping someone out financially who is a brand new friend until they were more like a girlfriend, which is how I'm inclined to explain my expectations during an initial M&G.
Also does any kind of PPM gift exchange typically happen before or at the end of a BCD situation?
Oops, meant to say w/o BCD is just a regular date.
NEVER give any PPM before BCD time. Way to many scammers will grab and dash and leave you holding your dick while they run with your money. As far as when the PPM starts, everyone has their own level of comfort but for me, I'll pay for drinks and maybe a light meal for a M&G but I don't pay any sort of PPM for a POT to essentially be interviewed for the position. If she expects a PPM for a M&G I move on.
This is exactly correct
Glad you are dipping your toes into the Sugar Bowl. You will find almost every possible question about sugar dating has been asked and answered in this Board. So I suggest you start by searching for past posts using keywords.
Your question is simple, but the answer(s) can be somewhat nuanced, depending on what you want and what your POT SB's wants. Basically, paying any allowance before BCD is not recommended. And talking about your date plans before meeting can help make clear that you expect BCD to happen if she expects to get an allowance. You can certainly go on dates that don't include sex, and generally you should pay all expenses for the date. It's not unusual for a POT to want 1-3 dates with you before she gets comfortable enough to go BCD. But make it clear, politely and graciously, that you expect to get to BCD. During these 1st few dates you might want to offer to cover any out of pocket expenses she has, like gas or parking. But limit that to small amounts - maybe $20-$50 per date.
Finally, in general, you pay a hooker when she arrives at your room, and you pay an SB when she leaves.
Please use the post history here for more info. Then let us know if you have more questions. There are many here who will be happy to help.
Life is good
The Cat
Fantastic advice. I did read through several pages and searched for terms like BCD and such, but didn't quite get results on some of the nuances like you've helped clarify. Thank you.
I'm hoping this provider bubble pops soon
I agree with the sage.. my only difference would be I pay the SB when she arrives. We both have to establish trust. And while it's true the gal could dash with your cash, they are most likely seeking an ongoing relationship and this puts them at ease.
The decision on when to pay is ultimately a minor issue, based on a few conflicting factors:
1. Trust - works both ways. SD's have been burned by cash and dash scammers. SB's have been scammed by non-paying douche bags. Trust your instinct, especially on your 1st BCD. Scaramouche is correct; she is most likely seeking an ongoing relationship. But not always. I've been burned by 1st time BCD dates and even more sadly, by SB's I've seen 3, 5 or even 8 times who set me up for a bigger than usual allowance then ghosted me.
2. Natural flow of the date. Assuming trust is established, I lean towards after. IMO it reduces the transactional aspect of the date.
4. Preliminary discussions and agreements. If you talked about this, follow up as promised.
5. Payment method. Cash is king, but other forms may work assuming trust exists. I use cash, PayPal, Zelle and occasionally Ca$hApp, depending on each SB's preference and comfort. Note I NEVR hand her cash, either in private or public. Instead, I put cash in an envelope and let her see me smoothly sliding it into her purse or bag near the end of the date. If I'm giving a small gift at a M&G (as noted above), I put the bills into a blank thank-you card placed in a nice envelope. I think it's "declassee" to hand over cash in view of other people.
And if you ever get to monthly allowance (note: NOT RECOMMENDED!) then online payments like a payment app or even a direct deposit to her checking account could work. But be cautious about doing that as it is a higher risk to you. Finally, in the past, I have set up auto-payments of an SB's recurring bill, like rent, or car loan. But again - not to be implemented quickly or without SUBSTANTIAL trust based on solid history.
Life is good
The Cat
I use the card in an envelope method and set it on a counter or a table inside the hotel room or her apartment and I say "this is for you" -- making sure she sees me setting the card down.
If it's the first BCD, a couple of things can be accomplished -- if she basically trusts you, then it sets her mind at ease and the date is more relaxed and the flow is smoother. On the other hand, if she opens the envelope and counts the money, then I get a feel for her long-term intentions. I won't say the first scenario results in a relaxed date 100% of the time, but I will say that I've never had a second date with a woman that opened the envelope and counted the money at the beginning of the first BCD.
After the first date, I just drop the card in the same spot that I left it on the first date. So, I guess you could say that I pay at the beginning of the date. But I agree with Herb that "when" is much more flexible with an SB than with an escort.
I think hardknocks nailed it. SB's are edgy about the sugar and when they get it. Since most / all are younger women, it is hard for them to discuss it or bring it up. If you're legit and plan to live up to your commitment, hardknocks' approach is spot on. Pass it over early (at the onset of BCD), and it sets the mood in a good way. I've n ever had a bad exp with this approach regardless if the relationship continues.
I used to use cards, and "just drop the card in the same spot that I left it on the first date", but no longer, after some bad experiences. The weirdest one was on BCD date number 2 with a lovely young latina. Date number one with her was fantastic, great sexual chemistry and a sincere desire (or so I thought) that date number 2 couldn't cum quick enough. We discussed bringing our favorite toys with us. She arrived for #2 right on time, and after a brief chat, said she had forgotten her toys in the car and left to get them. Only when she sped away did I realize she had pocketed the $ while my back was turned! So I never leave cash or card in plain sight any more. My preference is to take some folding money and push it into my SB's pocket after she gets dressed. With the tight clothes they usually wear this is a challenging sexy thing to do in its own right!
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