I'm in the far north DFW area and after several enjoyable trysts with a college student turned provider that recently left the bowl and turned pro, she convinced me to give the sugar world a try.  She knows me fairly well by now and strongly suggested that she thought I would do pretty well.  So, I decided to join Seeking about a week ago.

Within 15 miles of my primary residence, there are two universities with a combined total attendance of 63,000+ students.  One of the schools has a female population of 54% (25,380 females out of 47,000 students) and the other school has a whopping 89% female population (14,240 females out of 16,000) for a total of approximately 39,620 coeds.  

At first glance, it looks like this should be a target-rich environment for a gentleman like me who wants to spread some sugar on a young, beautiful coed.  This area is most definitely not pussy Siberia!  

So, I opened an account on Seeking, posted a profile that I edited repeatedly until it looked pretty good to me.  I posted a profile pic that presents me fairly well without giving up enough details that would allow me to be easily identified.  BTW, I am not fat, bald or ugly.  I am in good shape and physically fit.  I posted  6-7 additional photos in the "hidden" section, as well.

Cutting to the chase...I am getting a metric fuck-ton of "Favorited You" from everywhere around the world, and some that claim to be in the USA, but are not local to me.  I have been contacted by several that basically have nothing in their profile, indicating that they are either very lazy, or most likely not real at all.  I see very few coeds from the universities down the street.  There are a few, but most that claim to be local to me are clearly fake profiles with pics stolen from around the web.  A simple search with Google Lens has revealed over 10 to me so far in less than a week.  Many that come up in my searches, and claim to be coeds have not been on the site for over 6 months.  

Seeing appears to be a total shit show, full of scammers, escorts, fakes and flakes.  So far, it's been a total waste of time, and unless something changes, the site appears to be completely useless for finding legitimate POT's.  I don't know if possibly I'm just doing it wrong, or if the site isn't good for my area, or something else.  I have been lurking this forum for over a year and have done all the research I know how to do.  

Looking for some guidance from the experienced SD's here.  Will you please help a brother out?

Most of us have had similar experiences so it’s not necessarily you.. and a new profile is a target for scammers.
In my experience we have to do the searching and reach out to gals, understanding that despite the numbers they are getting hit with a lot of messages, both real and fake ( yes lots scamming women).
In your search you want to filter with recently active and don’t go beyond a week or do. In most cases it’s best to hit them up when they’re online. But what I sometimes do is favorite a bunch and then check my favorites for last active when I message.
It’s still a slog, but this might help a bit

Thank you, Scaramouche.

I kind of thought that maybe I was getting inundated with scammers and fakes because my profile is new.  It sounds like you also think that might be driving an extremely high BS factor to my profile.  I'll focus more on searching and not spend so much time looking at those that "favorite" me.   I could literally spend hours on end sorting through them and I don't enjoy that one bit.  My hope will be that my profile falls off of their radar in a few weeks and the numbers of BS'ers get reduced.  I've read enough here and on Reddit to know that there is always going to be a lot be BS, but what I'm getting right now is ridiculous and off-putting.

Only going back a week, or two at the most when searching also sounds like it will save a bunch of time.  I like the idea of favoriting a bunch, watching to see when they are online and then reaching out to them then.  I wasn't sure if they had any way of seeing how many favorites I have or not, so I haven't tried the carpet bomb method yet.  

It's my understanding, again from reading posts here and elsewhere, that buying "Diamond" status isn't worth the monthly cost.  I do wonder if that would reduce my issues or make it worse due to the higher "status" of my account.  The Seeking site doesn't do a very good job of selling Diamond status and I don't want to upgrade my account if there aren't real and measurable advantages for doing so.  

I've told myself that I've already paid for a month of access to the site.  I'm going to give the site its due and see if I can find any opportunities.  However, nearing the end of my 30 days, if I haven't found anything redeemable about the site, I will certainly not be excited to throw any more cash at it.  I would then likely try Sec...Ben....s and see if it's any better.  It probably is not, but I'm sure you get the point I'm making.

I'm willing to do the slog and you guys are proof that there are real women looking for what we have to offer.  If not for this forum, I would not be remotely optimistic at all right now.

I also get a ton of Favorited Me and unsolicited messages from foreign sources, or domestic ones very far away.   I have added a statement in my own profile stating that I am only seeking someone in my home town plus 100 miles.  So I don't feel like I'm being rude simply deleting and hiding the profiles of those that don't comply.  I do live in Pussy Siberia, so you might not need to troll as far as 100 miles away!  But the idea is the same.  As for those claiming to live near you who clearly do not, there may be other red flags that allow you to delete them without tons of extra time and effort.  In my case something very strange and laughable has occurred this year.  I see a bunch of new profiles pop up every week whose stated location is an impossible location! It's nothing more than a remote spot on the map.  Nobody actually lives there, plus you'd have to be a Native American Tribe Member to reside there!  So a lovely slim blondie for sure ain't from there!  Once or twice I've tried asking why they claim to be from there, just to see what sort of answer I'd receive, but no replies!

There are 2 Universities with large enrollments in the city about 60 miles from me (one reason I search for home plus 100 miles!)  But as enticing as the thought of a nubile coed may be,  there don't seem to be very many on seeking, as you have discovered.  Over the course of my career on SA I've def had a few, but not many.  Most of my genuine, excellent SBs have been young women who work at different jobs, are frustrated with dating dumb young men, possibly single moms, and who need some extra $.  They see sugar dating as a great way to enhance their lives.  My newest 23 yo is just that kind of woman.  Plus she's really lovely, totally uninhibited in the bedroom, and seems to truly enjoy my company.  And as for being fat, bald, or ugly, I'm def old and bald!

Anyway dude, if I can make it work in this target poor environment I'm sure you can too.  Do limit your search to those active within the last week or 2.  Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Hi Lurker

I've found my results mixed on SA at various times but the best strategy in my view is keep your membership active and pay the freight as the cost of doing business. There are many advantages to keeping your lines in the water at all times even when the fish aren't biting. The pussy, like many things in life, always comes in waves. This may have something to do with algorithms pushing your profile out to potential matches or just the natural flow of the cosmos. I work the site every day even though I have a pretty solid stable; one never knows when one of those fillies will flee the stable, or if an upgrade is in the offing. My strategy is:  

1] Always keep my lines in the water  
2] Always be open to upgrading but within reason    
3] Treat my fillies with love and respect  
4] Always work to build long-term quality arrangements with those who earn it    

Yes, it does grow discouraging dealing with the scammers, flakes and phonies, as well as the mindless one word and two word replies and dead-ended texts and no-shows and the [fill in the blank here] but mining for gold is hard work. Think of the miners in the 1800's. They had to process a lot of rocks and dirt to extract the gold therein. This is no different. You are a pussy prospector.  

DFW is a rich area for pussy ore, as far as I can tell. There is a large enough population there to work with for SD's who possess the budget and looks to work the market. I might also add based on my own experience, that the ladies in that region are much more friendly and sexual than those in the two major coastal cities. I wouldn't be discouraged by lack of willing coeds; they are apparently not on Seeking in large enough numbers to be a significant factor... yet. One thing you do know for sure if the colleges and demographics are there, so are the POTS. Your job is to find them.  

I believe your lack of bites is simply a matter of timing. Stay on the site and work it every day and try to use diligence and patience. Do the work and you will eventually reap the rewards.  

I'm in LA and it took me nearly 6 months before I started seeing consistent results.  

-- Modified on 6/4/2024 1:11:54 AM

Adonis, your excellent advice is exactly the same as how I operate on SA!  I always keep a line in the water.  Yes, it costs $1k a year, but that's the cost of doing business.  Jumping in and out seems like a guarantee of failure.  I work the site every day, looking for upgrades.  And I know you have to sift through a lot of dirt to find a diamond.  The O.P. will do well to heed your advice!

I immediately put the advice you guys gave me into action and WHAM...immediate results!

 
When I broadened my search as suggested herein, I very quickly started getting hits from real women (and some scammers too, as expected).  I initiated messages with 3 POT's that same day.  One fizzled out after the first 3-4 messages back and forth, the other two were looking really promising so we took coms off of the site and to text messages.  Turned out that one wasn't feeling well enough for a M&G, but the other was into it.  So, we agreed to meet at a local coffee shop to get to know one another a little better.  

 
She's a tall (5'11"), 26yo brunette, slim waist (probably 130 lbs), B-cup recent college grad with a great smile and a stunning, athletic body.  

 
She's fresh out of a 2 month SB/SD arrangement that sounded like it had turned fairly abusive so she ended it.  She said that arrangement was exclusive at $4k/mo, sex only and no outside activities.  There's much more to that story, but I'll save that for another post (because I have questions for the crew here).  I'm not about to go the allowance route (I learned too much here to go for that).  We had a very nice chat and agreed to $400ppm, which is higher than I wanted to go, but within my budget.  I've been seeing pros at around that rate, so it's easy for me to justify the price tag for such a beautiful young gal and no time limit.  I told her that I was looking for companionship, someone to do fun stuff with, and some sexy time BCD.  She was all good with that and seemed excited about the proposition of activities outside of the bedroom.  Alright, it looks like we are all set and I told her I would plan our first date and would be in touch.  I left with an optimistic smile on my face.

 
About 3 hours later, I got a text from her.  I was a little surprised, but was somewhat prepared for what came next because of the info that I've gleaned from lurking this forum and soaking up all of the great advice here.  Thanks again guys!  She proceeded to tell me that her rent was due and she was short on cash.  Big surprise!  She wanted to know if I could see her that evening, BCD with no outside activities necessary.  Okay, not what I expected after what we had discussed earlier in the day, but what the hell, I might as well fuck her for $400 and no time limit.  I thought if the sex wasn't all that, I would at least know early on before investing any more effort or expense.  So, I agreed, secured a room and met her there.

 
The next 3 hours were a whirlwind of fucking, sucking, licking, etc.  She didn't seem to be very experienced, but was submissive, trusting willing and eager to please.  She radiated an illusion of innocence that was very unexpected, but sexy as hell.  Score!

 
Had it ended there, I would have considered the whole thing a success.  But, the 4th hour (after I was too exhausted to do much of anything else) she proceeded to dump all of her troubles into a verbal heap at my feet.  Come to find out, this girl is a hot mess with a ton of emotional baggage and apparently even more financial baggage.  It was a very surreal experience to have her verbally vomiting her troubles while completely naked and looking as freshly fucked as a girl can look.  The first 3 hours were what I had seriously hoped for, the last hour was not at all what I signed up for.  I don't need a 26 year old "project".  

 
In my life-situation, I could not spend the night in the room and had no plans to do so.  I told her it was time to get dressed and we should be on our way.  She then asked me if she could just stay in the room for the rest of the night (even though I was leaving) and she would depart in the morning.  NO WAY!  I told her I wasn't comfortable with that and that it was NOT going to happen.  She begged, pleaded and cried but I stood firm and finally got her to get dressed.  She did so, all while trying to put a guilt trip on me to get me to cave.  No dice.  We finally left the room and I was afraid that she might make a scene in the hotel lobby.  Fortunately, she didn't.

 
I definitely NOT going to see her again.  I don't need the drama, sad stories and tears.  There are plenty of other places to get that shit.  I'm now confident that there are plenty POT's in the bowl and I will continue to mine for the good ones.  This one is a definite no-go for ANY future activities together.

 
Finally, here's a question for those of you that made it this far in this VERY LONG post...What is the standard protocol for ending something like this, where there is really no "relationship" outside of fucking, sucking and licking each other for 3 hours?  

Do I:
1. Send her a text message and say that I don't think we are compatible for a longer-term arrangement?
2. Send her a message telling her that the sex was great, but the emotional dump was off-putting so I'm not going to see her again?
3. Ghost her and block her from contacting me on the platform?
4. Other options...?

 
At the end of the day, I'm very pleased to have had some great sex with a beautiful young woman who is smoking hot, and much much younger than I.  I would have had to pay a pro significantly more than $400 for the 3 hours I enjoyed with this SB, and the "illusion of innocence would not have been present with a pro.  I would have to say that my first dive into the bowl was certainly unique, mostly enjoyable and somewhat frightening in the end.  I'm now confident and optimistic that the bowl will yield more and better results in the future.

 
Thanks again for all of the help and mentoring.  This board rocks and you guys are the best!

Thank you Sweetman! I always enjoy your posts as well!

Lurker  

Congrats on your score! Only you can determine if the juice is worth the squeeze. If you can ride the wild bronco on the drama it sure sounds like a fun ride but this gal sounds like she's quite troubled. Trying to get you to let her stay in the room and then giving you a guilt trip to that extent over it would be a major red flag for me. Personally I think I would avoid any person who is overly troubled and who has such major financial issues. If prospects are thin, you might try having a platonic discussion over lunch or dinner and do as you suggest - let her know you enjoyed the sex and would love to continue to help her with her finances in a mutually beneficial arrangement but institute a no-drama policy, and see if she will agree to that. It's a long shot but it could work and I see little downside to trying it. Perhaps she simply needs some guidance as this may all be new to her and you might be able to become a mentor. I'd proceed with caution, though, and if she starts with any crazy behavior, block and run like hell.      

Thanks for sharing both chapters in your story.   I am delighted that the wisdom provided by our fellow brothers here help you in such a powerful way.  Now you have a pretty good idea of how to search, and how to evaluate search results as well.  

 
As for your Chapter 2 question: All arrangements end. Some sooner than others.  If you decide that this one needs to end, my suggestion is to always make it about you, and never her.  Telling her she is too bat-shit crazy will not end well - ever. She will actually respond by PROVING just how bat-shit crazy she can be!  

 
Much better to tell her that YOU had to make a decision about YOU and can no longer participate in the arrangement.  Blame it on your budget, your schedule, your "ex" asking to get back together, your job duties, etc. The point is to hang it on something beyond her control and ability to question.  Of your list of ideas, #1 is probably the closest to what I describe.  Keep it short, polite and professional.  

 
Finally, never burn bridges by trying to shame or blame her.  There are 2 reasons for this: 1-Avoiding drama, and 2-You never know if sometime in the future she may reach out for a one-off fuck-fest. It can and has happened, but do not expect it.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Major congrats on your first BCD experience in the Bowl!  Happy she was so much fun, sorry she turned out to be BSC!  As for your question, how to end it, I personally do not like to simply ghost anyone.  I've been ghosted and I don't like how that feels, so I prefer other methods.  I I've had one BCD with a SB but don't want to see  her again, I usually wait for her to ask me for another date.  Then I'll say that I just did not feel like we had the kind of connection that could sustain a long term arrangement.  But thanks for giving me a chance.

I concur with Sweetman. Ghosting is rude, immature and I dare say, nasty. Some argue it circumvents retaliatory behavior from the 'rejected' party. While that may be true, I think it's always best to try to end things on a civil note and keep the door open for the future. As Herb says, never burn bridges. There are exceptions, as when you've determined the other party is bat-shit crazy and likely to result in toxic and damaging retaliatory behavior. For the most part, I make it a rule of thumb to not ghost. I also do not block for the same reason, though there are exceptions to this. Go gently and do no harm. When harmed, turn the other cheek and try to be the compassionate mature party in the relationship by keeping a level head.    

Once again, thanks guys!

Ultimately, I already knew the correct answer to my "how do I end this" question, but hearing it from you more experienced SD's confirmed it for me.

I'm going to wait and see if she contacts me again and at that point let her down easy and put the decline on myself, and not her.  I don't want to put more on her than what is very clearly already there.  I strongly suspect that she will contact me again when her purse is empty and so is her gas tank.

I think that the "burn no bridges" policy is an excellent one, so like you, I will make it my policy with all my future sugar relationships.  Live and let live!

These women aren't idiots.   They aren't fooled a bit by the George Costanza approach to breaking up -  it is me, not you.  They may not reveal their anger about being so freakin condescending but, in my experience, they think guys who are "Costanza" like are assholes.  Either tell her directly or ghost her.  I typically just ghost.  Feel like a jerk when I am doing it but I think it is the best option if you aren't going to be straightforward.  She will be upset with ghosting but not distraught if you play it straight or angry if you treat her like a moron.