Have any of you ever become emotionally attached to a wonderful SB? I didn't think it was possible but apparently it happened to me. Maybe if I wouldn't have met such a normal SB it would be different but we have been together with very steady meet ups, texts and daily phone calls. Now she is finding a BF, whom she isn't so sure about and it looks like it might end. I didn't think I was emotionally into her but it kind of hurts that she will be gone, I know it is not supposed to last forever and I will move on,but wow!
It happens sometimes, particularly with SBs who are SBs only and not escorts/SBs. . If it doesn't work with her BF, she might be back.
If you aren't attached, you will both have to think about what kind of relationship you want in the future (e.g., back to SB,/SD real GF/BF, real GFBF with some financial help from the BF, etc.).
It's not too difficult to see the potential for two people who are spending time together in the most intimate of activities to form a deeper attachment than the transactional agreement. IME, I've seen it in a few of my longer-term SB's, especially those where we spent as much (or more) time doing non-BDC stuff as we did making our "O" faces.
I had a 2+ year SB back in 2018 who had grown so attached, she was actually thinking (hoping?) that I would ask her marry me. Imagine her disappointment when I dumped her! And I've had SB's who I've introduced to my wider circle of friends as my GF because we agreed that using BF & GF terms felt "right" for us.
I'm also still seeing my on again/off again Asian Unicorn after 11 years. She was my 2nd SB and we met when she was 19. I see her maybe 3-5 times a year due to her family and work travel schedule. I'd marry her and drop all other SB's (and pro's) if she would agree. Sadly, she has yet to say yes. She came over last night we had an amazing time together, catching up, fucking on every piece of furniture in my living room and splitting a pizza with a bottle of wine. She's 31 now, looks HAWT, bi-sexual, likes to share her female partners, and we get along very well. I've taken her on short and longer road trips that were wonderful. She loves my jokes and we appreciate each other way beyond the mutual-multiple orgasms we have together. But, she's "not the marrying type". Am I emotionally attached to her? HELL YES! But, I am resolved to the fact that I'll never get more. Oh well... what I have is good enough, as long as I have my 2 A-list and 3-5 B-list SB's available to keep me happy when my Unicorn is out of town.
So here's a simple technique to get your head aligned with your, well... head. :p Ask yourself the following question:
If I stopped giving her allowance, would she still fuck me?
- If the answer is "no" (and Dude, you know that 99.99% of the time it will be), then she's not emotionally attached beyond her "emotional" comfort that she can still pay her rent. So sure, feel emotionally attached, but don't expect her to go shopping for her wedding dress with you (unless you are offering a multi-year, 6-figure allowance deal, Playa! lol).
- If the answer is "yes" then you have a GF. Congratulations! Now you need to decide if you're going to commit to that relationship and dump your other SB's, or keep it "open" and know that you each will still be slapping other's people's pink parts.
So regret your (hopefully) short-term loss only briefly. Then ramp up your rotation and enjoy some new strange, because...
Life is good
The Cat
Yes, when someone becomes a major part of your life losing her can make you feel the loss, even if your feelings for her don't rise all the way up to "love"
Recently I have lost a few SB's that I kind of liked to jealous boyfriends who found out and made them stop and yes I do kind of miss them all, or at least I miss fucking them. lol The best cure for this is to find someone newer and hotter to replace her, and of course you can always leave the door open for this one to return. It does happen, AND it's also possible for an SD/SB "arrangement" to blossom into the real thing. I don't know if that is an option, or even a goal in your case, but I am living proof that it happens. I had an SB, thirty years younger than me who became a real life girlfriend, she's even met my mother and I have met pretty much her entire family, including her father who was a bit slow to warm up to me, but actually did admit I most likely was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Long story short, I met her when I was 48 and she 18, I am almost 62 and we are still friends, we live in different states, but we still talk occasionally.
This is a subject that's very important to me and one I've thought a great deal about. Like most SDs I've had BCD romps with cute SBs who I did not know or care about particularly, and I enjoyed them, not gonna lie. They were good experiences. But when a deeper authentic emotional connection has developed, the BCD fun is immeasurably better. For me of course. As always, YMMV. I learned all this about myself the hard way. One of my very first arrangements was with a wonderful little female who shared my world view, my sense of humor, my delight in sexual activities, etc. I fell in love with her. Plain and simple. So when, after a year of believing (foolishly) that we'd be friends for life, she ghosted on me, and I was devastated. It really hurt, my heart was broken, and the pain lasted for months. I know there are plenty of experienced SDs who will say it's always a mistake to "catch feelings" for a SB. My first such experience would seem to provide evidence for that opinion. But my takeaway from it was different. I don't want to withhold or suppress my feelings, I want to manage them. Currently I have one SB I've been seeing for over a year. I adore this girl, and I express my affection and love for her frequently. I allow myself to love her, without "falling in love" with her. The affection I give her is intentional, not something that happened to me without my volition. That's what I mean by managing my emotions. I've had this kind of managed love affair with several SBs by now. And when they ended (they all end sooner or later, get used to it) I was sorry to see them fly away but happy they were a part of my life for however long it lasted. It will be the same with my current lover when the time comes. But I wouldn't have it any other way, I love loving them.
I try as best I can in relationships whether it's a friend or SO to apply a little Buddhism at times. One of my sayings (don't think I came up with it) is everything is temporary. That's because everything truly is temporary. We've all had, probably, more than job, car, friend, gf or wife, etc and we're all going to die. Reminds me of one of the Four Noble Truths. Basically, we cause our own suffering by craving permanence in a world of impermanence. I try to free myself from desire in little ways. I've tried to practice detachment, but for me, it's a challenge. At least I'm aware of it and use it as best as I can.
It is almost inevitable if you just hang around with one girl (in civie or SB/SD or escort life.) It's just wise to be seeing several different girls. I found it is really hard to give up variety. So getting too attached has not really been an issue.
Definitely happens to the best of us. The first real long-term arrangement I had we lasted two years and became very attached. She pretty much fit the unicorn criteria perfectly. I was pretty crushed when she got a job offer after college to move to Chicago. We kept seeing each other on and off for a bit after when I was in town. Saw her about 18 months ago and after a. Wry nice night, she let me know she was officially engaged and that we should stop seeing her. I still see her as the one that got away. I’ve seen her mom and suffice to say, she will age very well...