I am taking medication for Bi-polar.  The medicine has one unintended consequence.  I cannot ejaculate.  I stay hard for hours with not even coming close to ejaculating.  Any suggestions?

The only sensible suggestion, airedalet1,

is to SEE YOUR PHYSICIAN. S/he is the only professional authorized to give you any advice in this matter. If someone else tries to tell you to change your meds or do something different, DO NOT LISTEN. Period. On the other hand, your doc should be more than qualified to titrate/change your dosage. This is a common problem, like dry mouth, etc. with these meds...

Alas, not for us mortals on this board to tamper with,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 4/21/2008 11:40:39 AM

Is your concern for not being able to come based on you not finding the physical satisfaction that you want, or is it a feeling of, for lack of a better term, embarrassment in front of the woman because you feel like she will be upset if you don't ejaculate?

If the former, then, by all means, do as LG suggests.  These are many types of medication for Bi-Polar and I hope there is the right combination for you.

If, however, it is the latter, there is no need for you to suffer this embarrassment.  Instead explain to the provider that a medication you are taking causes this and you still enjoy her company and the sexual arousal. Just go with the flow.

Some guys who ejaculate very quickly miss out on the best part of sex and you have those guys licked by a country mile, especially if their refractory time is very long.

Some of the ejaculation difficulty can be age, and mind related.  When I started hobbying, I thought it was a med I was taking-  turned out the ejac. difficulty was there without the med as well.  Same issue- able to stay hard and enjoy sex, just difficult to complete.

Mr. Fisher's comment that you can relax and enjoy without is well worth considering.  Of the providers I've seen, only three have I ejaculated in actual penetration, most of the others during oral or hand.  Two- I didn't ejaculate with at all, and my most freq. repeat- had to learn me and me her over several visits to for me to consistently ejaculate.

However, I have thoroughly enjoyed every visit-  just having sex with a beautiful women, thoroughly enjoying the arousal regardless of whether there was a completion, and even more, enjoying the companionship and the person I was with, and also the arousal I was able to give to them- all very special treats that make the experience great regardless.

Also- telling the lady as Mr Fisher says that you may not ejaculate gets any thinking she might have about not succeeding out of the picture and if she is sensitive at all she will not mention it and add to the pressure.

And the added bonus- as I relaxed and quit worrying about it- I was able to let go and be more passionate and it has become less of a problem!

So consult your doc as advised and also just enjoy!

I had my prostate out almost 10 years ago, so I don't ejaculate at all and have not for that last decade.   It has not cut down on my sexual pleasure, but it sure has cut the mess!!! LOL

I think this is a really great point.  You shouldn't need to worry about a bad reaction from a lady here.  However, absolutely *explain* your situation, so that she does not worry that she is doing something wrong.  A good time to broach the topic is mid-way through a date.

I can't speak for the original poster, but depending on his meds, they can cause side effects not just on ejaculation per se, but also on sensation in general. Sometimes the penis can get "numb," almost as if the person is on crystal meth. For someone who is highly conscious of this, having sex can turn into a psychologically as well as physiologically disappointing experience, where the "pleasure aspect" is just as remote as ejaculation.

Speaking to providers will help...but remember that some providers have a lubrication/fatigue issue with guys who take a long time with intromissive intercourse, so this needs to be framed with some sensitivity toward the provider. Many providers are very, very understanding and really try to help, almost beyond their capacity. If that is the case, they can end up feeling "used" physically after the hour is up, even though the client has explained the problem. It's best to fully understand the issue subjectively and biomedically before attempting to frame it in its proper context to an outside party.

Just a note, folks,
the Love Goddess



-- Modified on 4/21/2008 7:01:59 PM

I have to agree with LG. I occasionally have a session without ejaculating. While I would never consider it a wasted effort, it is not the norm either. If a medication is causing this to happen it could be causing other long-term problems as well.  As with any medical situation, this one should be brought to the attention of a doctor for re-evaluation.  There could be a lot more at stake here than the ability to ejaculate.

-- Modified on 11/14/2008 4:40:27 PM

In fact I almost never ejaculate through intercourse.  I am assuming that the OP here has attempted trying other methods beyond intercourse. If not, I recommend a nice sloppy and wet BBBJ!

Many providers and hobbyists as well also don't realize that variation-  adding slow, teasing, an lots of mental lust stimulation goes a long way too.  As does passion- either verbally or through intense kissing during (or biting... or spanking....  or.....or...... )!  I've experienced four providers who can complete me even in penetration intercourse with enough passion kicked up!  And that is definitely not the norm for me but the rare exception.

Too many providers or hobbyists just keep going at it harder either orally or in penetration action and the poor thing gets numb or oblivious to the constant heavy stimulation.  Love making to me is the mental, emotional, and physical art of learning each other!

-- Modified on 4/22/2008 10:04:31 PM