I think all of us who are caring, responsible sex fiends want the girls we play with to be safe and satisfied and enthusiastic enough about this entire endeavor to want to go another round with us, or their next SD, and stay in the game. I hope they will look back on this part of their lives and think, wow I really met some awesome gentlemen, and not think, crap I was so stupid, what was I thinking?
In the escort world the guys can read reviews and learn a lot about the girls. The girls can check White List and learn that the guy is a safe person to visit. We have no such screening protocols in place in Sugar Dating and it troubles me. Gambler, before you jump in, I do understand how counter productive any similar screening idea would be for Sugar Dating. I get it. But I just wonder if something creative with no negative unintended consequences could be devised. I'm saying all this because two of my sweet young SBs recently had very bad experiences. Such that I am focusing my mind right now on the very real, and perhaps unnecessary risks these vulnerable young women are taking and wondering how we can get rid of the bad apples in our midst. Story #1. She exchanges several messages with an older alleged SD and agrees to meet him at a nice restaurant. They both arrive, but the place is packed and he says let's get some food to go and go take it back to my house. She's not wild about this but agrees. As she and I talked this over later, she does have some street smarts and she did feel uneasy, but she was raised to be a good girl and say yes, and that's what she did, although she acknowledges she made a mistake. As soon as they get into his house, he turns around and locks the door from the inside with a key. She tells him she's not comfortable with that and please unlock it. He refuses and starts grabbing her. She maces him, grabs the keys and lets herself out and flees the scene, very shaken. She reports him to SA and his profile is gone, at least for now. Story #2. Another sweet young SB of mine who I would have said had major street smarts begins messaging a younger supposed SD. He's in his late 30s or early 40s or so, possible a red flag right there. He lives a 3 hour drive away but offers to drive to meet her. They meet and he wants her to go to his hotel with her. He offers her $80! She refuses of course and tries to leave. He gets immensely verbally abusive, calling her names, and saying I know where you live, you'll be sorry. The next day he blows up her phone with 100 texts calling her bitch, whore, etc. Later that night, she's at home at her Dad's house, and Dad comes to her and says, Sweetheart are you having trouble with a man? (he knows about her involvement with SA and is supportive). They go out to the driveway and see that someone has taken red spray paint to the side of Dad's truck and sprayed the word whore on it, and also on her best friends car which was also parked there. They call the cops and file a report. No arrests made yet as far as I know. Guys, this kind of thing is what can happen when there are zero checks and balances, zero safety or screening protocols in place. I'm glad both of these sweet young girls were ok, at least physically. But it could have gone the other way and they both know it. Right now we are in a Golden Age of Sugar Dating; lots of lovely young women, lots of very nice gentlemen who want to participate. It wouldn't take much to make this scene deteriorate in the worst way. And I get it that TER style reviews for SBs and White Lists for SD might cause exactly the kind of deterioration we seek to avoid. But I wonder what we can do if anything to be more pro active and protect ourselves and the girls safety.With background verification, it actually wouldn’t be hard to have SA follow these things and even file criminal charges if needed. That said, I don’t know how many women pay attention to whether someone is background verified. Also, could it be used to blackmail guys or girls?
Lastly, would SA be any worse than other dating sites? The longer I’ve been on it, the more I treat it like dating rather than whoring, and it seems like I’ve been getting more freebies.
1) TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS....if you're spidey sense starts going off or if you feel the least bit uncomfortable DON'T. At least she was smart enough to have mace.
2) NEVER GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFO until you are absolutely comfortable and secure with someone. How in H E double hockey sticks did he get all this info? Her Dad's house? Really?
Same advice for SDs.....
I had one SB try the poor innocent me act and I said I wasn't going through with having sex and she refused to leave until we did...never went back there....
I had one SB come home with me and afterward I told her I thought she was brave getting in the car with someone she had just met today and she reaches into her purse, pulls out her taser, sparks it a couple of times and says...I was ready for you.
#1. Absolutely!
#2. She has no car so she told the guy to pick her up at her house. Bad move.
Backpage, Eros et al don't have reviews and rightly so. We can't expect an ad site to self police to any degree, nor can we expect SA to do so either.
but whoever IS going to provide such a service is going to have to be able to monetize it. It already costs around a grand a year to be a full time SA member, How many SD's do you think are going to want to pay even more money on top of that to be "screened" by some other entity? SA does have a Diamond Membership that claims to do this, but that puts your cost of membership in the $2,500 yr range and the very idea of paying that much was roundly ridiculed when it was discussed her a while back.
Besides the monetary issue, I don't think we will ever get away from the unintended consequences part of the equation. Do we really want our "innocent SB's" turning into mercenary whores and conspiring together to "maximize" their allowances? Right now there is no "industry standard" where it comes to how much an SB is going to hit her SD up for, Do we REALLY want to start one? I guess just like with socialism the "have nots" want equality, while those of us on top want to keep what we've earned. Speaking as one of the guys who is doing just fine the way things are, I don't want "standardized" rates and a bunch of TER type forums where the girls can all compare notes. Keep in mind, what's good for the goose is good for the gander and it's only a matter of time before this type of thing does become a reality, but as far as I am concerned, the longer it takes before this happens, the better IMHO.
Personally I am not willing to spend a single solitary penny to become "verified" and I don't need for the POT SB's I see to be verified either. Common sense will take you a LONG way in the Sugar Bowl and that goes for SB's as well as SDs. Trying to "regulate" the Sugar World will only bring unwanted attention, higher prices, and possible LE action against us. I vote for leaving things as they are. Crimes against both SB's and SD's can be reported to LE since none of us are engaged in illegal acts and offenses that do not rise to criminal offenses can already be reported to SA, I've reported several scammers and would be scammers, I will continue to do so and I urge the SB's I see to do the same.
I don't disagree with anything you've said. But I would have thought that we do have plenty of incentive to keep this scene as safe and clean as possible.
Or at least as safe and clean as is possible.
but those "unintended consequences" are a bitch, and entirely unavoidable IMHO.
Unfortunately, it's not our responsibility to police (so to speak) some situations, while quite vivid for you may still be a rarity considering the million+ SB.
I do disagree about the Background checking issue. If it materially added to the process, or motivated SB's enough, I personally wouldn't be overly concerned about paying significantly more for it. Especially if it gives me an edge over the flakes and scammers, for me Time = Money.
this board anyway. Plenty of guys who leak info to be heros to a woman, and plenty of providers and semi pros lurking. I'm pretty sure there's plenty info out there about allowances, scripts, intro lines, strategies, etc.
Not much, likely, about individual SDs.
The typical OP only gets a few hundred reads, there are literally millions of POT SB's out there. Most SB's have never even heard of TER, much less have ever found their way to this particular board.
I recently converted a SB to a TER/P411 provider. I saw her ad on SA and wrote to her and asked if she'd ever considered turning pro as her ad was as good as many of the pro ads out there. She said she would be interested but had no idea how to get started. I told her I could meet with her review her and invite her to p411. So we did all that. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of that. 
So yeah, I don't think many SB's on SA know about review sites.
Not unless it pays more than my day job.
There are lots of SBs out there who know zero about TER.
Non of my SB’s have heard of TER. That’s one of the things which makes them innocent. They don’t know we have sites to review the pros. I wish we had a Review site for SB’s.
I try to hide all of my whoring from my SBs and my SBs from each other. No good can come of them knowing what’s going on. Even the ones that say they’re completely open and NSA still get a little jealous when they know you really are balls deep in someone else, especially when they’ve grown to really like you.
Most of them are jealous because you spend your money on other SB’s/providers, not because they like you. They want you to spend ALL your money on them.
Not the ones I don’t always give money to, haha. But yes, it’s always a money thing with women. What’s new?