While I've never had exactly the same situation I usually don't finish a full course restaurant meal myself and ask for a take home box for the leftovers. I love eating the leftovers at home later on. I encourage my SBs to order whatever they want and take the leftovers home if there are any, and sometimes they do. I've never had one order more than one entree though. I'm thinking that your SB is so used to being poor that she sees this as an opportunity to bring home extra food for herself and maybe her family too. I think I would ask her if all the leftovers get eaten, since I don't like to waste food. If she says yes, I wouldn't mind what she orders within whatever you think is reasonable.
When you date an Asian, you date the entire family. Asians seem to stay together, live together, eat together and share together. I’ve dated Asians and have been friends with Asian families. The relationships were very close. Consider the food a nice donation to a good cause. Her family is probably conservative and would never buy fancy food do she is sharing with the family.
Personally, I just hate wasting food.
I have not seen that behavior in my SB, but as long as the leftover food is being consumed (by her, her family or even her pet) I would just let it go because, as Herbcat, says the delta is not that much either and I can afford it.
If she is still living with her mom, bringing those leftovers home may lead to questions regarding their source. I´m not so sure that she would want to give those explanations to her mom.
I just had a nightmare M&G where the pot brought her roommate along to watch over her 2 year old son. They ordered a bunch and took home the extras. She said it was only the second time she went to PF Chang’s, which I realize is not the type you are talking about. To me it brought home how fortunate we are. Lots of pretty ladies have known only poverty, and are living on the edge.
It’s easy to take her there less often if it really starts to bother you. Meanwhile, enjoy your good fortune.
Herb I think I'd just let this slide. She is likely feeding her family with that food and since it's really no sweat off your balls to get her the extra food, I'd consider it a good deed. It's not like she's asking for extra money that she's spending on drugs or gambling, it's actual food that is more than likely being eaten and enjoyed by someone who needs it far more than you. Just my thoughts on the matter.
I would let it go the first time, but call her on it the second time. I would say whoa wait I think you ordered a little too much - there’s no way WE can eat all this. I think we should not order quite so much. Are you really that hungry? Then you can at least start the discussion. She clearly knows she’s taking advantage of you, and it’s best to limit that activity asap, in my opinion.
I once had a favorite who would order the largest steak on the menu and order it super rare. She would take a few bites from the edges of the steak, then cut it up into pieces and order a doggy bag. When she got home she would feed it to her massive dog who would practically inhale the steak in one breath.
It rankled me to see a $50 steak go that way, but as I liked her and the dog too, I managed to grin and bear it.
If I were in your shoes, HTC, I would let it go but not let it progress, either. It sounds like you have a great little SB who has an annoying little proclivity to over-indulge on your dime. It's actually kind of cute if she thinks you are so rich it doesn't matter.
Have a funny line in mind if she goes overboard next time and tries to order even more of the menu. Let her know there's a line she shouldn't cross. You're a man, not food bank. (Say that with a smile!)
Once a girl (who I really liked, like it seems you like this girl) on our umpteenth date (okay, less than tenth date) decided to go crazy on the Wagyu section of the menu. Lesson learned. Never took her there again but continued with her enthusiastically at other fine steakhouses. Another chick (first date) intercepted the wine list and ordered a $300 bottle. I paid with a smile, redoubled my effort to close the deal that night (check!), but only dated her roommate after that. Maybe she learned her lesson, maybe she didn't. But she knew her roommate was getting laid and paid by me. Not fueled by $300 champagne, either.
You could also switch to lunch dates or brunch. You're the boss; you're the man. She follows your lead.
Rockfordfile
Sorry guys, I realize I forgot the second part of my post -- "I had the opposite situation once".
By opposite I mean a date at a fancy place where she doesn't take advantage of the menu, even though a fancy place is clearly a new experience for her.
I took two 18yos to a fancy steakhouse (a high end chain you've probably heard of). The first one had reached out to me, we made a date, and she then asked if her friend could accompany us. I said sure, hoping to get lucky with both. (My only experiences with doubles have been when a girl gets "nervous" and asks if a friend can tag along.)
Imagine never having been to a fancy steakhouse and ordering the macaroni side dish as the main entree. Yep, that's what my girls did. I encouraged them to get a steak, or seafood, or something substantial. But one had eyes only for the macaroni and the other one just the au gratin potatoes. I think we had salad or soup to start. They seemed happy but I was hoping to given them more than a macaroni experience. No evidence they were vegetarians; I guess they just liked their carbs.
We had a good time at dinner. They went back to my place with me, but in the end must not have been too impressed because I couldn't even get as much as a kiss and they never returned my subsequent texts.
I didn't spend as much as HTC, but I didn't get laid either!
where everything is the opposite of our "normal" universe.
It happens all the time, just check out the videos on it on You Tube.
I think it was both a cute little quirk and an attempt to game your generosity, however given her reasonable rate, her outstandingly enthusiastic companionship (not to mention the money, she saves you by not ordering bottles of wine or expensive cocktails) I think it’s entirely okay for her to order lots of food. The food isn’t going to waste, and is feeding either your SB or her family, so I think it’s all good.
