I've had trouble finishing the last couple of times. I think I'm getting bored and losing interest. Is that possible? Normal? I enjoy imagining the appointment more than having the appointment. Maybe the wearing a condom is ruining things? (I won't have an appt. without wearing one.) I take Vitamin V, could that be it? I anticipate the appointment and count the minutes for it to start, but seem to be bored and/or disappointed somehow.
This is all pretty new.

-- Modified on 6/24/2007 12:49:22 PM

I have the same issue. Not always, just sometimes.  I've spent some time with myself, thinking this over, and have come to the conclusion that sex is alot more than 'stick it in her and shoot it off'.  Don't take that the wrong way, it wasn't aimed at you or anyone else, but I think us guys tend to put too much emphasis on the 'goal', and not enough on the overall experience.

 My excitement these days comes in stages, so to speak. I've learned not to set goals that can be blocked, (by me or anyone else), and to concentrate on desires instead.

  Here's how I look at it; researching providers, and actually booking the session are the beginning of the trip.  I usually do outcalls, so an hour or so before the appt., while I'm in the shower, the excitement starts to build.  I don't let it go too far here, what if the provider flakes out on me.

  When I hear the knock on the door, that's a little pique of excitement, sort of a 'we're on our way' type of feeling.  When I answer the door, especially if it's someone I've seen before, the excitement really goes up, because my fantasy is about to become reality.

  Then it sort of levels off, or maybe even subsides a bit during the first part, when we either get to know each other or catch up on our lives. This is a nice little interlude to get ready for the real thing.

  Once the reality of being completely alone in a room with a total hottie, neither one of us having a stitch of clothes on, my excitement level goes into the stratosphere, anticipation is at an all time high. I've got a pretty good idea of what's coming.

  From there, once the action begins, it'll usually level off again, maybe subside a little, and if I can concentrate on what's actually going on, and not on just getting off, I find I enjoy it alot more. The skin to skin contact, the look in her eyes, all the other feelings are more important to me than anything.

  I find that if I can just enjoy the moment, and not concentrate on a goal, I usually will have a happy ending.  Remember though, I'm me, you're you, no two of us are the same.

but I've taken Cialis a couple of times and that's exactly what it does to me. Haven't decided if the effect is necessarily a negative, though.

Are you in a rut of seeing the same providers over and over?

If so, then I would suggest meeting some new friends and seeing if that gets things moving again.

The other suggestions sound good also.

Well, it's certainly not ABnormal, Bob Crane,

If you are "bored and losing interest," it could simply be a habituation issue. Try to stop making appointments and see where it leads you. Does the NOT making appointments create feelings of loss or discomfort? Perhaps you, like many other men, are more addicted to the chase than the actual encounter?

In my practice, I often deal with individuals who are very bored with the escort 'scene,' and yet have a hard time quitting browsing sites, making appointments, etc. Frequently, boredom with something much deeper in life is at the root of the problem. The searching, the making of the appointment and finally the encounter, are merely there to distract from a bigger issue that demands a solution.

As to the condom or the V, I'm not sure they are at the root of the problem, although they can certainly contribute if there is an underlying dissatisfaction. Try to ask yourself honestly if there is something else bothering you. If not, then stop for a while and pick up where you left off...with a new provider altogether.

Let's see what happens,
the Love Goddess

I don't know what other issues you may have, but I have learned that the little blue pill definitely inhibits your ability to finish.  I don't suffer from ED, but I thought that it would make me harder and last longer.  What could be wrong with that?  Well, it did just that, but to the point that even in the throes of incredibly erotic experiences, I was not able to finish.  

Dosage matters, too.  If I cut a 100mg. pill in quarters and I take it at least an hour before the encounter, then it's OK.  The effect is noticeable but it does not prevent a finish.  In too large a dose, however, you'll be doing yourself a disservice.

I have reached the point where I just don't use it at all anymore.  If I ever really need it to perform, I'll go back to it.

Like I said, there could be other issues in your case, but eliminating the V would be the first thing I'd recommend.

Are you seeing the same provider each time?

Nope. I generally go: one repeat, one new, one repeat, one new.

If you don't have a problem I don't recommend Viagra. Even the smallest dose can be too much. I take 50mg and it works perfectly. 100mg gives me wood that can drive nails but I won't be able to finish. Mind you finishing is not a race...or at least it shouldn't be. I book 2 hour appointments and take things very slowly with the lady. My ATF and I both love oral and that is how we spend the majority of our time. Sex feels great as well but, with the condom involved, I generally can't finish that way. Besides, My ATF likes to see old faithful erupt so who am I to argue?

It could be a psychological or physical issue, or both.

The habituation and variety issue has come up. But here are a couple of possibilities.

1) Are you taking an antidepressant or some other medication? Some antidepressants and other drugs are known to inhibit the libido. If you are, talk it over with your doctor and see what he/she recommends. It sounds like you are not just having trouble climaxing but also getting sufficiently aroused. That may be a problem.

2) Go check a urologist. You may have a prostate issue. It need not be cancer. It could be an enlarged prostate.

In short, in addition to trying to make adjustments that may have a positive psychological effect (which I support), you might also want to talk to a doctor about potential physical sources of your problem, such as these or others.  If you can't seem to draw a connection to a physical issue, then at least you will have ruled that out.

Good luck.