A few months ago I met a provider who was just starting out in the business.  We hit it off immediately.  We now see each other a couple of times a week; it is all off the clock - I have discussed it with her and she's fine with that.  We have intense sex for long periods of time.  She tells me I'm the only guy that gets her off.  Or at least that consistently gets her off.  We are obviously very attracted to each other physically.    

In her life outside the hobby, she is very active in swingers' circles.  She's very popular there, and she enjoys being very popular.  I am not part of that.

I find I'm attracted to her as a person, and while I feel she's attracted to me, it's all expressed in terms of physicality:  e.g., "mmm, I sure would like you touching me again."  

She's exhibited virtually no curiosity about my personal life - my interests, my background, my hopes, my troubles.  These things have come up, but she doesn't really pay them much mind.

It feels like there should be something more than only a physical relationship here.  Obviously, I can do the obvious and raise the subject, but before I do, I want to pause and seek any insights from LG as to what may be going on with my sweetie.

Hmmm, Neverthoughtofthisone,

So you met a girl who only wants you for sex. She happens to be a professional sex worker and that's how you met. But that is neither here nor there, since in reality, you are good fuckbuddies, much like zillions of other folks out there who are not into having exclusive relationships, fully independent of what they do during working hours. But:

You are not OK with that. You want more. You are already calling her "my sweetie," despite the fact that she is only into the physical aspect of your connection. And, to you "it feels like there should be something more than only a physical relationship here." So what to do?

Well, I think it's fairly simple. If you can't stand being with a woman in a non-exclusive relationship, then break it off. Because, my dear friend, tying herself to one man doesn't seem to be her thing...at least not with you. On some level, I guess this is a role reversal; stereotypically, it is said about men that "he's not that into you," and "he only wants you for your body," etc. Now the roles are switched [gotta love it, old sex-radical feminist that I am] and you don't like it.

So that's it. Start humming that Clash tune "Should I stay or should I go" to yourself, because that's what you have to decide.

Soooo many guys would be sooo envious of you..[sigh],
the Love Goddess

LG you alway hit the nail on the head.... ouch!

But seconding what you have said...

To Beverthought:

The first provider relationship I had out of bounds told me the same.... that no one got her off like I did, and I still believe her on that, the chemistry was amazing and the sex went for hours when we were together.  There seemed to be a spiritual chemistry too and the mutual contentment when we were together seemed powerful.  However.... when someone came along that was more readily available and a better immediate financial solution to her.... the flying dust behind her heels was astounding.  And amazingly.... during the couple weeks she spent deciding between the two of us, she shared some of his angry emails and her replies (he found out about me)... she belittled his sexual adequacy.  So much for the long term value of 'you get me off better than anyone ever has'.

The role reversal that LG mentioned.... I've actually found that with more than one provider ... for better or worse, I've been in several provider relationships.  While this is a stereotyping and a lump judgement... I have found in the providers I've been close to that sex (them being in the sex business) is a relatively cheap commodity to them, and we guys that tend to fall for them attach much more meaning to the intimacy than they do.

In the three relationships I've had since, I've stayed as open and available emotionally as that is just me, but I much better accept the 'fuck buddy' aspect, fully appreciate and take advantage of the non-exclusivity, very much enjoy it!

And I've also learned that it is as much about getting my needs (emotional) met as theirs and when mine aren't being met, I reassign the relationship in my mind to just a fuck buddy relationship and go with it.

I've just learned to take it for whatever it is... and if one day 'what it is' is a true two way love, emotional connection and support, as well as great sex... wow, I'll be thrilled.

In the meantime.... if you can take it.... as LG said, many guys would be envious!  Step back and take a look man..... awesome provider sex in a civvie style fuck buddy relationship!

I am completely averse to giving or receiving exclusivity. If the lady started getting clingy I would get the hell out of dodge.

Enjoy it while you've got it. Sooner or later she will probably feel the pull of your emotions and split.

I myself have hobbied for years and have had two LTRs with providers that were genuine bona-fide relationships, with mutual friends, the L word, trips, etc. and emotional intimacy that worked on many different levels.  So this new one threw me...your advice is spot on...I'm now packing a certain amount of emotional baggage, to be moved down the street to the "fuckbuddy" house (where a number of providers have resided happily).

But there was a movie that came out about 15 years or so ago called Dumb and Dumber.

At the end of the movie, a tour bus full or gorgeous bathing beauties pulls up to the film's two characters and a representative of the group asks them if they know any guys who would like to have a job traveling with them to apply tanning lotion to their bodies.

The dumber character (Jeff Daniels) says he not sure but there is a town a few miles down the road that might have some men who are interested, and, looking a bit confused and dissappointed, the gal and the bus start to head off.

At this point, the dumb character (Jim Carey) turns to his friend and says:  "Do you have any idea what you just did?"  He runs after the bus shouting stop, stop and when the bus stops, he apologizes for his friend's stupidity and points out that the town is in the other direction of what his friend had indicated.

ba-doom.

Now, does this remind you of anyone in particular?

The pitfalls for you,dude,have been eloquently put...

But every coin has 2 sides...

I had a relationship like yours..went on for 2 years then cooled a bit for 4...then when everyone had their oats sown...we wound up together and have been living together for the last 7 years...

If you really think there is a chance of something "Bigger" be patient and at the same time live your life...have fun in and out of the relatioship you described and see where you wind up...

It's the journey not the destination baby!

I gave in to love-
then I screwed up and made a huge mistake because I was hurt and angry (there was lack of communication on both sides)-then I begged for forgiveness and communication was completely cut off.
I hurt deeply-I have never felt so much love and then to have it taken away.  I always thought we could forgive. I didn't want to fall in love-I fought against it tooth and nail.  
To say this was special is an understatement.
To say that I am sorry is also an understatement.
I want to heal and grow and learn.

I hope I have earned trust again-I hope I can see you.  I know it's different.  I believe I have proven I am a trustworthy and honorable person. I AM a good person. I AM a person of integrity.  I have proven it over and over.
I know I have alot of hopes and wishes here.
Can wishes really come true? Can forgiveness and love and understanding win the day?

Where is my white knight?

Peace out.