Are your confidants pretty much just here or elsewhere online?  I had a hard enough time hobbying on my own, but I could compartmentalize since there were never any "feels" to go with it, but now I've found an amazing sugar relationship I find I want to talk about it with others but can't.

There's only one way to find out.

Personally, I can talk about it with virtually anyone who cares to hear about it as I am completely "out" where it comes to both hookers and SB's. I am entirely too fucking lazy to lie, except of course I don't come right out and tell all my SB's about the other ones in the "rotation" but I doubt I would lie about it if asked.

Since there are too many complex variables, tangibles and intangibles involved; I would use Occam's razor as the problem solving method and state that the $$$ is most likely the correct answer.

Ive got  a few friends that know of my activities post divorce. General reaction? Amazed and jealous.  

We enjoy regaling each other with our adventures and sharing tales of woe as well when that's needed.  Very supportive and enjoyable.  But mostly it's this forum where I exchange stories and information.
As for your feelings, just accept them and go with it.  It may last it may not.  I fully subscribe to the school of thought that says "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  Case in point, I totally fell in love with a sweet little 23yo SB.  We had a superb time for a year and then she broke it off and it broke my heart.  But I don't regret one moment or one emotion.  As for the age difference, 20 years is nothing.  My current SBs are 50 years younger than me.

Thanks GaGambler.  I'm jealous- my social circle is pretty judgmental and some are work-related so I keep my activities on the DL.  I actually think some of them hobby as well, but it's just not the kind of crowd that is open about that kind of thing.  And that is funny about your target demographic.  I can only wonder if I'll still be able to target the 20-somethings when I'm the same age, assuming I'm still active lol.

Thanks sweetman.  Your story is actually exactly what I'm afraid of.  I'm not a young man anymore lol.  Not sure I can rebound from a broken heart as easily as I could when I was a teenager!  But bravo to you for still being in the game- we should all be so lucky still to attract such young and beautiful women!

I wish I had the same kind of support network.  I just can't even imagine talking to my offline friends about any aspect of the hobby, even though I'm certain at least a few of them partake.  But I just don't have that level of comfort with them.

The fantasy is most often a great deal different than the reality, and that goes for ALL relationships, whether they be with hookers, SB's or civvies.

It is always better to salvage a good, long time relationship than to blow it up. Too much collateral damage and expense. Since it sounds like you are not married, it might be a little easier, but depending on how long you have been together, maybe not.

All of the above is well said - I go elsewhere for my needs sexual as well but still value a long life with my SO. I think there are more relationships like this than we know - especially after 30+ yrs or more of marriage in my case. Let's face it, if I had to live with some of the guys on this forum for that long - or anyone for that matter - it would be really tough - LOL. Nobody is interesting enough for that long - and I am sure that goes both ways as I am sure I am a PITA many days as well. The key is understanding this and living with it, not always easy - but much of life is like this. Be thankful for the good things you have in life, good health, SB's, etc!  

I am just incapable of living a lie. I refuse to hide what I do as I believe that if I am doing something that I can't reveal, it must be something I feel guilty about.  

yea that 20 yrs from now thing has crept into my head a few times, not a place I probably want to be either. Many things in life are a trade off, so one day at a time for now. I wonder what guys did before the internet, no TER, SA Pxx1, etc. - now that would be a problem?

Or at least pre what the internet has become.

First really nice one I went into was in Dallas - probably 30 years ago. Now keep in mind I was from the mid west and very naive. It was just shocking to me because I had never seen really hot woman naked on stage like this, I was used to some old hags in a dump in a bad part of the city where they tried to hussle drinks from you. I kept asking my co-worker, "Why would these beautiful woman take there clothes off, what's wrong with them"? Didn't realize the amount of money in it? Anyway, I have never looked back, been to quite a few clubs in my day on business travel, mostly a waste of time and money, but not so much anymore - have obviously found other entertainment to partake in.  

Thanks Nat.  I often tell myself to maintain my distance emotionally, but I know I'm just bullshitting myself.  If another sweety comes along who inspires my affections in that special way, I know damn well I'll fall head over heels again.  One thing that makes my situation special though is that my wife and I are truly open and honest with each other about our feelings and activities.  Last year I got to console her when she was unceremoniously dumped by a lover, and this year she got to do the same for me!

I truly respect your life choices.  In many ways you serve as a beacon of hope to others who would like to live true to their own selves, but don't know how to do anything except compromise.  I too had a "moment of clarity".  That was 15 years ago for me.  And my feelings about it were not that different since I also could not abide the thought of sneaking around and cheating on my wife and hiding my true nature. But my method of dealing with it was to talk to her and be completely honest about how much I loved her but how much I wanted the freedom to fuck other women as well.  So we worked it out and now enjoy a truly happy polyamorous marriage.  Both of us are having fun with other people but we always come home.  She's still the most important person in my life and our marriage is the accomplishment I'm most proud of.  It is possible to have your cake and eat it too.

I think if I tried that I would not wake up the next morning.  Or I'd be the next John Wayne Bobbit.  LOL

Spot On!

Wow, thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom.  I agree with you- definitely trying to use the big head to think about this.  It's the only thing stopping me from casting caution to the wind and burning it all down since it's reached the point where it's more than just the sex that's the problem.  If I ride unscathed through the honeymoon phase...well, that will be where things get interesting.  Then I might get scathed lol.

1 SB is turning into a girlfriend always ready for or trips.     One I have dinner with 24 yr and she screws me with no mercy.    She has good sex but does not act as social with me.  Texts, phone calls, etc ..         The 3 rd. is a beautiful black girl 25 .   I mean a looker too.  One of the best in the sack I have seen.   Acts like a girl friend would. Texts me to see how I am .    Told me to text her when I get back from Atlanta to know I got back safe.   Going to have me over to her house for dinner after she gets some problems solved with girl friends laying over un announced.  Gave her a little money for rent and she cried.    Got a date Sunday.    She will lay it on me.