Have been on SA a week. Have sent 22 messages and received 2 responses. I'm batting under .100! A discouraging start. Not sure how much longer I can swing and miss to find a potential SB.
My profile states:"I'm a single, professional/educator looking for someone who would like to get together on a regular basis for laughter and play. Dinner, movies, concerts, and occasional trips/getaways also desirable with the right chemistry. I also love music (I play guitar and piano), so would be nice if you did too. Seeking a mutually beneficial and stable relationship in which we both look forward to seeing each other." Is this too transactional? It's an honest description of what I'm seeking. Should I change the word 'desirable " to "possible"? It seems like the real hotties request a gift from their wish list to "catch their attention". This seems over the top to me.
Not sure my pride can continue hitting below the mendoza line much longer. My provider is looking better and better.
Any counsel is appreciated.
As SD's we have numbers on our side as there are far fewer SD's than there are sugar babies wishing to pursue them. There are many factors that could be impacting your batting average. First of all, it's a numbers game so the more messages you send the higher your chances of success.
Secondly, there may be something in your profile text or your photos that are turning off POTS.
If you are an educator, then you are likely in a public job and are using blurred photos or no photo at all, which can be a deterrent. For your profile text, personally I'd leave out 'educator' and replace it with 'busy professional.' I'd keep the part about being a musician but leave out "so would be nice if you did too" as you are requesting you'd prefer your POT to also be a musician," that is going to reduce your number of replies.
I'm not as expert at sugaring but I would recommend you get a profile review at the Sugarlifestyle sub-reddit on Reddit.
You'll get tons of recommendations from veterans in the sugar game. Take these constructive criticisms with a grain of salt as there are a lot of opinionated blowhards on there. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
http://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/
Practice makes perfect. Don't give up as you have the numbers on your side, you just need to dial in your profile and pics to give yourself the best tools to work with. Then it's just a matter of persistence and developing your game. Online dating is a skill set. You don't just step up to the plate and start hitting home runs in your rookie year. Maybe lower your sights on the level of lady you are approaching. We all want the 10's but those are very difficult to get. Practice with some 5's and 6's to get your confidence up. Even those may be hard to bed at first until you get better at it.
Most of the replies you get will be crap; scammers, toe-dippers, time wasters and escorts. You'll set up M&G's and they will not show up or try to cash-app rinse you [Don't send any girl any cash for any reason at any time]. But from this experience you will establish a sense of who is real and who isn't. The cream will rise to the top and you will start to have M&G's that will result in successful SR's.
It will take a lot of time and persistence and a lot of disappointing trial and error. It's the same for all of us when we are just starting out. It's also difficult for veterans of the game. There are no shortcuts or easy paths to success. in the bowl.
Leave your Ego and Pride at the door.
Always remember the highest pleasure exacts the highest price.
Sugar On!
First, 22 messages is not a lot, and a one in 10 response rate is not that unusual. Some guys send hundreds of messages to find someone (and then the gals may flake after a while). Some of the reasons are not about anything you're doing right or wrong. The number of SBs will vary a lot by location, there will be a bigger pool in the bigger cities.
- Some want a single/divorced guy but others will only go for married ones (presumably who won't get clingy)
- Since it's dating, there will always be those who want someone taller, richer or more handsome
- the 9s and 10s are going to get hundreds of messages so hard to compete in this space
- some are searching (probably futilely) for a "whale" who will whisk them away in a private jet, and just won't settle for anything less than that. you may see these gals on the site for a long time.
- the gals can see your stated income and assets and may decide based on this. There's a lot of debate on whether to fudge upward or downward, I won't get into that here.
I would advise not to take it too personally as Adonis says. Keep sending messages, and maybe circle back to some to let them know if you're really interested. You can see if the gals read your messages or viewed your profile, so these might be the ones to keep hitting on. Also, be aware of which ones are active now. Some will only message when you see they are online. There are plenty who don't check or take a break, so make sure someone you are messaging is actively looking.
For your profile, I would add a few details about yourself and your hobbies and interests, if for nothing else to establish you're real. Maybe you like kayaking on the xx river. If you're never married, some glas might think you're weird so maybe explain your situation. And say in your profile you can't share your photos for privacy reasons but will offer on request.
When you send a message, make it personal and detailed (but not too long). Offer a compliment about something in their photo or text and draw them out without getting too direct (some guys here will advise differently, saying they are just looking for sex, but it seems like you want more of a relationship).
Also, you might find some hidden gems who are blurring or hiding their photos for privacy reasons. Hard to know until you start conversing and seeing if they will share, but mine were that way.
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If your message is bland or boiler-plated, POTs won't even bother to read your profile especially the 9s and 10s who get hundreds of messages a day. Make your message original and stand out. Post your typical message here if you don't mind. I am sure experienced guys will offer suggestions that can improve your message. Also, as Adonis suggested, try the 6s first to see if you get replies. If you do, it means you were aiming too high. Pictures do matter. Your picture shows up left to the first line of your message. If they don't like your main profile picture, they won't even bother to read your message. I am afraid a blurred pic won't attract much attention. Take me for example, I am sure quite a few POTs are not physically attracted to Asians so they won't even bother reading my message.
I agree. The message needs to be a little personal. Show them that you read their profile and why you are interested. If you can add humor, ever better.
One thing that has worked for me is that I send a brief note to any girl that browsed/visited my profile. Something short along the lines of "Hello... How are you? Thank you for visiting my profile" That is usually enough to get a conversation started and see where things go from there. And, if they do not respond, no big deal, but most of them do and I take it from there.