I can't believe it. I've been hobbying for some time. I've almost never had a problem finishing. The last several times, I've found it very difficult to orgasm. No problem maintaining an erection, I get aroused and into the person I'm with, I just can't seem to finish. I get very sensitive around the head of my penis and I seem to just move right past the point of no return.
I've abstained from being with someone and masturbating for over a week before the last time I say someone. It was someone I've seen before and was comfortable with. We were having a great time and when she and I wanted to finish, I really had a difficult time of it. I finally reached an orgasm, but not without some real help from her.
I don't want this to turn into some type of performance anxiety, but it's hard not to think about it. Any thoughts?
Dear LMFAO,
We get postings like yours quite frequently on The Erotic Highway. Without knowing your physical condition, exact sexual history or current life situation, it's very difficult to pinpoint what is causing this issue.
Condoms, lube, overworking it, overthinking, overanalyzing when the orgasm doesn't come exactly as planned - there could be a zillion reasons.
One thing is you could be holding back for just a little too long when you really want to climax. Many men do this in order to get as much out of the sexual experience as possible; however, the body can rebel against this "unnatural" delay and really bottle things up. Another reason is trying to time it with the woman's orgasm. In this case, I say fuhgeddaboudit and just blast off when you feel like it.
Another one can be irritation from overuse with the condom. Please put some lube inside the condom; this will ensure some relief from potential irritation.
And yes, performance anxiety. If you go in there with some paradoxical intention, i.e. tell yourself that you are absolutely NOT to orgasm, well, then it might just happen. But really try to be lax about it. Just go in there and get her to play with your dick by hand and mouth. Don't even try to get into her pants, literally. Don't try to 'satisfy the provider.' Actually, don't think about this being some kind of "mutual" experience - that really does get some guys into trouble. Nope, be as selfish as you wanna be. As to the abstaining from masturbation - this may be a lesser problem in this case. Your seems to be a combination of physical discomfort coupled with maybe going on just a tad too long.
Try it,
The Love Goddess
To refine one of LGs points. I wonder if it is a condom issue. A condom needs to fit "just so". They come not only in sizes but shapes. There must be friction on you to make it happen... friction requires some movement. A bit of lube inside & enough room to move. I point out it must also grip the shaft enough to not lose it.
If the ability to have friction is not blocked by the condom, the next item is positioning your sensitive area where she can apply a squeeze. I have a partial spinal cord injury... so a conclusion can be elusive & as been a challenge at times yet the right stimulation can make it happen too fast.
I hope this helps,
skb
I have found that for me, using a female condom feels like the next best thing to bare back. It helps me ring the bell much better than regular condoms. You might give it a try.
I wonder if youve ever been checked for prostate problems?
No need to reply with your personal info, just a thought you may want to have checked out.
Good luck babe