This is related to my earlier 'Bait and switch' post.
After months of texts to schedule a M&G, and then handing over the negotiated allowance, some shopping and buying gifts, we finally got to the BCD phase, where she rattled off a long list of things that she doesn't do BCD. This of course caused me to rethink the situation and ultimately to decide to bow out of the arrangement. Her response to my breakup text? She "liked" it. Period. I had suspected it, but did not want to believe, that she had been stringing me along to see how much she could get out of me, before having to actually hand over the goods (limitations or no).
Lesson learned: Don't hand over the allowance, until confirming physical "chemistry".
... and, for this one, it sounds like the sooner the better. So, yeah it did not work out, but given the experience, you will have more resolve to do the relationships your way in the future. And, don't feel bad, we've all been there. At least, I have.
Some elements we don’t know here and offering a bit of context.
Remember these gals are not pros and don’t have menus and upcharges. Assuming this is a gal in for sugar— some fun and extra cash — you should ask is this something she wanted and enjoyed along with the greenery.
If that’s her idea of good sex, it’s her privilege.
If you think she was holding back and just putting out the minimum for the buck it’s a different story
But I will not spend months texting back and forth just to set up a M&G. I am looking for a SB, not a GF. If she doesn't plan to meet for a drink after several messages, I move on. I also move on if we don't go BCD after two dates. If she seems to truly enjoy spending time with you (not rushing to leave) and acts enthusiastically during sex, I will give her a couple of chances even if her "menu" options are limited at the beginning. In my experience, some of them will open up (e.g., from covered to BBFS) after they know you better. OTOH, if she just goes through the motion and rushes to leave asap, I will dump her right away. Your SB seems to be falling in the 2nd category. Count yourself lucky that she "liked" it.
Thanks for your insight.
In my defense, the months spent texting were the result of trying to coordinate two hectic schedules, with outside distractions. But, she was not enthusiastic at any point about spending more than two hours together.
And now, I know the signs of the disinterested POT..
This is my policy also! All my best arrangements have gone BCD after one "coffee and conversation" date. But I'm willing to go to 2 if she's interesting and hot enough. I'm in that situation right now with a very slim beautiful AA girl who is the most intellectually curious SB I've ever met. She wants another lunch date with me, and it will no doubt be fun even if it goes no further. But 2 is the limit, then it's either BCD or move on.
I'm generally able to go BCD after a M&G. But have waited for as many as 4 dates (without allowance) before going BCD with one SB. It helped that I had 2 other SB's in my active rotation at the time, so no worry about blue balls. LOL It was worth the wait that time.
Can't say I'd do that again.
Life is good
The Cat