Dear michael_z971,

Deviance is a term used primarily in sociology and criminology - note that there is the Journal of Deviant Behavior [or simply Deviant Behavior]. This is a scholarly/academic term that means something a little different than calling an individual "a deviant."

I don't have a home-made definition of deviant behavior. I am a sexologist and an academe and I accept this as a scholarly term.

Please note that an act doesn't necessarily make a person. Any man, be it single, married, shy, extrovert and who is frequenting prostitutes, is practicing "deviant behavior" in sociological terms. This does NOT mean that you personally are a deviant. But seeing prostitutes is certainly a deviation from the norm (appx 10% of all men in the US have had experiences with prostitutes) so in that sense, the behavior is deviant - it deviates from the norm, that's all.

Sociology is primarily concerned with the science of group thinking and behavior. Theories of personality and personality psychology are primarily concerned with the individual. So far, "deviant" is not a diagnosis within psychology. As psychotherapists, we don't generally run around and call our clients "deviants." It's just not done. However, the word has often been used in a socio-politically or morally derogatory sense, whereas to sociologists and criminologists, it's not some kind of personally value-laden expression.

I wouldn't worry about it, really,
The Love Goddess

I'm not qualified to answer in the academic manner the Love Goddess did, but I'll take a stab at it from a comparative history approach.

If you look at "deviant" as simply violating cultural norms, rather than specifically sexual cultural norms, lots of things have been deviant but no longer are considered such. A few generations ago (and still, depending on where you live) it would have been really strange for a white person and a black person from across the tracks to be friends. A woman wanting to work, or vote, would have been an oddity. A German would have been acting suspiciously for not harassing Jews.

All those people were decidedly outside of their cultural norms, but with some historical perspective, we can look back at their actions and get a different sense than their contemporaries did. I'm not saying our collective actions should be aggrandized. There is plenty of seedy behavior in and amongst the good clean fun going on.

Just look at specifically how you treat yourself and the ladies you employ. If you are honorable and forthright in your actions and respect the various unwritten agreements between yourself and the ladies, don't worry about what society says. If your internalized sense of right and wrong isn't objecting to your behavior, and neither are the ladies you see, just ignore the judgemental overtones of society. Choose your own label. You can call it deviant, non-conformist or independent thinker. It doesn't matter what you call it, if you are comfortable with the actions themselves.

What I do is normal.
What you do is deviant.

right from the start.  To Deviate from some abstract defination of right & wrong, with no discussion of what is right or wrong.  IMHO, Such loaded language does not belong in any objective discussion of sexuality.
skb