I'm in my early 50's. I had open heart surgery (4 by-passes 5 years ago), take 2 blood pressure medications. Doctor has told me, I'm healthy enough to have sex. Been suffering from ED for a number of years. Tried Viagra, Levitra and Cialis and gotten the best results from Levitra. But that doesn't seem to help a whole lot any more. Doesn't matter if it's with my SO or a beautiful provider. The crazy thing is I get hard as hell watching soft porn on computer(without a pill). I mean the MILF videos on you tube, or even reading some of the more erotic reviews in here.

Has anybody had similar experiences or have any suggestions ?

Thanks.

If watching porn (soft porn, no less?) floats the boat, so to speak, why not work that into the routine with your gal.

It's worth a try.

Usually a little Jamesian pragmatism is all it takes.

As is the mind/emotions sometimes in a negative way.

I've found no matter how beautiful the provider is, I can always get a harder erection with porn or sometimes even awakening in an erotic dream.

In person with someone you actually have to interact with, have to exert physical effort in positions, have to deal with/adjust to their routine and desires... it can be very different than porn and masturbation when you are in total control and totally sensing what is going on with your little head.

LG recommended in a post a long time ago and I'm sure has posted it many times over the years... the book "Erotic Mind".  Buy it and read it!

Most importantly though, I slowed it down, enjoyed all the touch, seduction and sensuality of the person I was with, and quit even thinking about erection or orgasm, and the sex with the providers I really click with has been absolutely incredible.  And I seek providers who enjoy the sex as much or more than I do, go down on them and eat them in to a frenzy where pull me on to them with such fervor that the passion rolls me right in there with her.

During times of 'difficulty', I have many tricks... thinking of a little hottie whose pants I'd like to get in to, imagining one of my favorite porn scenes, stopping the sex for a few minutes and just kissing passionately or rolling her over and exploring her body... especially her ass....imagining what I'd like to do with her while exploring....  use your imagination!

Lastly, I rarely masturbate anymore.... thus am as horny as hell and loaded for bear when I do have sex!

-- Modified on 1/8/2009 9:09:21 PM

Dear Left Fielder,

Your situation is more common than you may think. In my day, we used to call it "the zipless fuck" [after Erica Jong's "Fear of Flying," natch.] When there is zero pressure to perform, the organism will do its own thing - in your case get an erection completely unassisted. Even if you don't last until ejaculation (or even ejaculate at all,) there may be enough wood for you to enjoy the entire scenario.

The suggestion of watching porn together with a lady is a good one. In addition, you can watch her masturbate in front of whatever is being displayed on screen. Key is to let her satisfy herself in front of you, with zero involvement toward her on your part (at least in the beginning). The less pressure to perform, the more of a chance to get it up....and then take it from there.

Enjoy the MILFing,
the Love Goddess

Did your Dr give you an excercise (cardio) routine, and if so, are you following it?

I'm my late 30's & early 40's, I was having trouble maintaining erection, but I got in shape, dropped about 40lbs, and now regularly do 60 mins of cardio 3-4 days a week.  Many benefits, one of them being rock hard erections.

Again, I'm not a Dr, but my undestanding is that if you can acheive a good erection with the porn, the pills aren't needed.  Would love to know if I have the facts correct on that one.

Dear h8traffic,

Yes, you are right - to some extent. Variables are age (can't compare someone in early 40s with someone in 50s who's had a bypass), BP meds (sometimes BP meds can be avoided, other times exercise alone is not enough to lower BP) and degree of ED (some can achieve erection, but not for the duration of the sexual activity, despite vigorous exercise).

Here, I will use "The Saint" as an example. Upon meeting LG at 50, he had slightly elevated BP, mild arterial stenosis, and was slightly overweight. No ED except for occasional ejaculatory incompetence. Yours truly put him on a 2 hour cardio program daily, 2 fish oil capsules daily, loads of olive oil, the "Mediterranean diet," minimal intake of alcohol, and lots of love and care. Four years later, BP is normal, even on the low side. Ejaculatory competence returned. Weight loss, increased energy, no increased arteriosclerosis, as measured by CT angiogram. But he's committed to his 2 hour cardio, now every other day, plus some weight lifting 3-4 x weekly. The guy is 6ft tall, weighs 182. Still could lose a few lbs on the tummy, which at this point seems very difficult. Has settled for a full head of hair and a happy life instead.

Now, does this work for everyone? Not always. BP meds are sometimes needed, no matter what. And they are notorious for tampering with erectile function, exercise or not. But cheers to you for not dealing with ED anymore.

It's all so individual,
the Love Goddess

Of those two hours of daily cardio...

I hope one is with you!

Are you allowed to make a pass at the Love Goddess? Doesn't that violate some professional boundary or something? Did the rules change? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Please contact your doctor before starting any new exercise routine.  With your history of heart problems and such a new exercise routine could be just the ticket; or it could be a one way ticket to a pine box if not properly ipelemented.

Did your Dr give you an excercise (cardio) routine, and if so, are you following it?

That I only suggest excercise as instructed by his MD.  My question is whether he is following Dr's orders, as most people give up on the cardio routine the Dr suggests... at least that's been my obsevation.

Same goes for diet.  The majority slip back into their old ways.

I was referring to LG and "the Saint", and how he allocates his daily 2 hours of cardio.

Hope this clears things up.  And hope no offense to LG.

As a heart doc, I would agree with these suggestions, exercise, clearance by his MD, lifestyle changes are all important. A lot of the meds we use, especially the beta blockers (atenolol, metoprolol) are notorious for causing ED. You shouldn't stop these but should talk to your MD about possible changes.

Having said that, if you can get hard with porn videos, you probably don't have significant organic ED. You can get an erection with certain stimuli. There are probably other issues. For example, some patients have a fear of a heart attack or of having chest pain with exertion, fear of mortality, depression, etc. If you didn't go through a cardiac rehab program after CABG, you should probably ask your cardiologist about it. Most insurance pays for 12 weeks. This will let you see how much you can do physically  and give you some confidence. I think another thing to try would be to do something more limited like a sensual massage with HJ or CBJ to finish (or no finish) where you don't have to perform but can relax.