My TeR brothers, this incident reminded me that the Sugar Bowl carries drama risks...maybe you don’t get the LE risk that comes with pros but it can be bad— this actually freaked me out for a sec about how close I was to disaster. Of course it reaffirms the recent thread abt keeping our identity hidden earlier on.
This is about the POT #3 from the post I just started on entering the Sugar Bowl. I found her originally on SA but she is also on Alt SB site. In SA she had one photo looking like a pretty young thin 26 yo ebony chick. Her tag line is about looking to learn scuba diving so my wedge is along the lines that I’ve done it but I’m not good enough to teach lol. She LoL’s me back and we jump into convo abt what we’re looking for. I should have bailed earlier when she says she’s looking for an older SD who forms a “real” connection and “wont slut her out” but i was reassured it basically would be weekly SD mutual benefits thing. She expresses she’s new to this so how can she be safe...I respond we should do the noncommittal public M&G etc. She was starting to gush in response to my lane spiel about my background and we move to texts on our phones to set a meet for this coming Sat. Seems all fine to that point. Cute stuff all week until yest. When suddenly she texts “you have a Spokane WA number?” Meaning nothing in the background I told suggested WA. Sh*t. I told her that I used it to hide from new vendors in my work along the CA but if it worked out she’d get my real New York cell #. I also thought she’d get that people use fake handle names (not real names) initially. After that weird pauses ... then accusations I’m working for the government to entrap her... I keep trying to reassure her that the M&G will allay all her suspicions abt my being real and how excited I was... she wasn’t having that.... next thing I know she’s searched out my profile on Alt SB and sends a message. Guys, I knew it was going to be a waste of 10 message points but I looked anyway: “I know you. It’s hard enough for a young girl to meet an older guy without you preying on them. I’m reporting you.” Wtf. I immediately blocked her on both sites. This is the second “bullet” i dodged lately...because she only had my burner number and fake handle! Stay away from Pureintentions (sometimes followed by “1”) handle, guys, in Houston and Austin.Thank you for sharing the experience. I think you did dodge a bullet here, but I'm not sure what type of bullet it was...
A few questions: can you give a bit more context to her statement that you "won't slut her out?" Did you ask her what that meant (hopefully by text and not on the site), and why she was worried about it? A statement like that is at least a yellow flag and I'd want to make sure I understood why she said it, then give her assurances I won't be that guy - if her context seems legit.
Next, I'd stay away from discussing fake vs real phone numbers early in the conversation. Yes, it's a standard practice for some (or many) SD's and SB's. But calling it out to a POT, especially one who may be a noob to the sugar bowl makes you sound like you are a scammer, or that you may be more of a John then an SD. Next, if your fake (or real) area code are not local, have a simple, logical explanation for that, preferably one that is actually (mostly) true. Lies will eventually bit you in the ass. I have a phone number with an area code in Northern California, while I live near Los Angeles. In my profile, and if asked, a POT can see that I lived in NorCal for a long time before returning to LA. I have a fake number I occasionally give out to POT's that trigger my Spidey senses, and it's got a local area code.
Last, finding the same POT (and being) on another site is not uncommon. But it presents some challenges & opportunities. If you find a POT on another site, you can compare her profiles to look for delta's in key information like age, location, height, and details in her profile text that don't match up. The mismatched info may be a clue that she is a scammer, or a pro or semi-pro (not necessarily a bad thing). I probably wouldn't call her out on it at first, nor would I contact her on the other site. Instead, I'll add the data to my overall evaluation as I decide what to do next. But the same can be done by her with your profile on the other site. If you have inconsistent data, you may get called out. When I was using multiple sites (WYP, SA, SD4M, SB) and I got a message from the same POT through another site, I generally laughed it off and said something like "I was curious, but I don't really like that site..." and then move on.
Finally, blocking her on both sites was probably an over reaction. If she's a noob and is perhaps rather worried about scammers, you just proved your insincerity by blocking her. If she's a scammer, blocking her didn't add any protection for you, as she only had fake info and could have easily captured your profile info and pics offline. If she actually tried to report you, what would she say? You appear to have taken no actions that could look like "preying." Now you have burned that bridge forever and sure, there are many more POT's available, but she's no longer part of the POT pool for you. In 10+ years of sugaring, I have only reported and blocked one SB after she ripped me off for $700.
The result: Nothing. SA didn't take her profile down, and I never got my money back.
Again, thanks for the post. You've leaned much and it cost you only a little time (and 10 message credits). I'd say you're off to a good start.
Life is good
The Cat
I think the “slutting her out” comment— in the later context of the “hard enough to find an older man”— is her bridling at competing with the experienced SB who have made hooking up a business arrangement whereas she is doing it to form a “relationship” with an older man. I spent some time texting back and forth trying to make her feel our arrangement was more special and personalized. That’s all speculating on BSC behavior... beyond that, I have no idea what preconceptions she would have abt SB sex. Honestly I didn’t ask her what she meant because I didn’t want to dwell on drama at the time—- I was busy trying to tee up a few deals simultaneously and learning along the way.
Yeah my mistake was letting her think it was a fake number vs my main “real” number. That was a slip of the texting finger. I should’ve just said the WA number was a second work phone for the west coast.
Now a day out with more promising M&gS teed up this weekend, including three replacement ebony, a latina, and a “plain white” POT, I’m glad I made mistakes with that one. But I don’t consider blocking her a mistake... I would gladly give up any further learnings from her to avoid the drama.
Btw I never looked for her on Alt SB. I only realized when she popped up to cyber stalk me.
Thanks for all the feedback.
Thank you for sharing the experience. I think you did dodge a bullet here, but I'm not sure what type of bullet it was...
A few questions: can you give a bit more context to her statement that you "won't slut her out?" Did you ask her what that meant (hopefully by text and not on the site), and why she was worried about it? A statement like that is at least a yellow flag and I'd want to make sure I understood why she said it, then give her assurances I won't be that guy - if her context seems legit.
Next, I'd stay away from discussing you fake vs real phone numbers early in the conversation. Yes, it's a standard practice for some (or many) SD's and SB's. But calling it out to a POT, especially one who may be a noob to the sugar bowl makes you sound like you are a scammer, or that you may be more of a John then an SD. Next, if your fake (or real) area code are not local, have a simple, logical explanation for that, preferably one that is actually (mostly) true. Lies will eventually bit you in the ass. I have a phone number with an area code in Northern California, while I live near Los Angeles. In my profile, and if asked, a POT can see that I lived in NorCal for a long time before returning to LA. I have a fake number I occasionally give out to POT's that trigger my Spidey senses, and it's got a local area code.
Last, finding the same POT (and being) on another site is not uncommon. But it presents some challenges & opportunities. If you find a POT on another site, you can compare her profiles to look for delta's in key information like age, location, height, and details in her profile text that don't match up. The mismatched info may be a clue that she is a scammer, or a pro or semi-pro (not necessarily a bad thing). I probably wouldn't call her out on it at first, nor would I contact her on the other site. Instead, I'll add the data to my overall evaluation as I decide what to do next. But the same can be done by her with your profile on the other site. If you have inconsistent data, you may get called out. When I was using multiple sites (WYP, SA, SD4M, SB) and I got a message from the same POT through another site, I generally laughed it off and said something like "I was curious, but I don't really like that site..." and then move on.
Finally, blocking her on both sites was probably an over reaction. If she's a noob and is perhaps rather worried about scammers, you just proved your insincerity by blocking her. If she's a scammer, blocking her didn't add any protection for you, as she only had fake info and could have easily captured your profile info and pics offline. If she actually tried to report you, what would she say? You appear to have taken no actions that could look like "preying." Now you have burned that bridge forever and sure, there are many more POT's available, but she's no longer part of the POT pool for you. In 10+ years of sugaring, I have only reported and blocked one SB after she ripped me off for $700.
The result: Nothing. SA didn't take her profile down, and I never got my money back.
Again, thanks for the post. You've leaned much and it cost you only a little time (and 10 message credits). I'd say you're off to a good start.
Life is good
The Cat