Dear TheLoveGoddess,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your attendance to all of our questions.

Not sure if my Q has been asked before, but here it is:

I have a SO, so I have sex on regular basis without condom. Not much but twice a week. I can stay hard as long as I want with her.

But when I see a provider,  I do not feel enough stimulation wearing a condom, so after 5-10 minutes of being inside, it get soft, seriously, not much of stimulation to keep it up.  

I have no problem to get hard and get in, I have problem to keep hard with a condom

What should I do?

Yes, johnshoemaker,

The question has been asked by many, as this can be a vexing problem, particularly for the "pre-condom generation."

The most common answers from me and the rest of the gang (in no particular order) are:

1. Ask the provider to wear a female condom. You could be extra kind and bring a few with you. Use one and leave the rest with her so that she can experiment with them herself, if she's not already a proficient user.

2. Depending on your risk tolerance, do as much as possible uncovered and then go in for the final but brief kill.

3. Changing positions may be helpful too. Some guys need to do doggie or be on top to feel the plunge. If you're just flat on your back, there isn't much exercise for your penis.

4. Change condom brands/style/size. Don't do the lambi from Alabambi, they are porous and not HIV virus safe. But if you're not huge, try polyurethane. Or maybe a bigger size, like Magnums?

5. If all else fails, go see the doc and get a script for ED meds. At this point, I'm not messing around or beating around the bush [pun intended.] I've got guys in my practice with the opposite problem - a provider can be boned with zero issues, while penetration with SO is nil unless Viagra or even shots [in one case] are administered. We've triaged with the doc and meds have been instituted, to the thrill and happiness of all parties involved. But try the above remedies at first and see what happens.

Good luck to you,
The Love Goddess

I used to have a similar issue when using Trojans.  They felt as thick as the wall of China.  I've found that Durex PleasureMax condoms worked really well with me because they helped the stimulation at the tip.  One thing you can try is putting a little lube on the inside of the condom, but not too much  Don't want it to slip off!  That helps you slide within the condom and generate more sensation.

I've never tried female condoms, but from what I hear they are great for the man.  Just be sure to use plenty of lube on the inside of them.

I've seen a few men with a permanent indented band at the base.  

The female condom and/or standing positions seem to work best to keep blood flow down below.

In my experience, I have found that thinner condoms are better sensation (duhh).  I found I prefer thin latex.  Also condoms come in different sizes and are shaped.  Friction is what creates sensation.  To have friction one must have movement.  If the condom to too snug, does not move on the penis, there is no friction on the inside for him.  The condom needs a bit of room and lubrication to move on the inside (while gripping the shaft to stay on).  
Frankly, I suggest checking condom sites on line then go buy a sample to try out.

I take my own to dates.  I recommend sealed 3 packs.  I respect that a lady has the right to refuse to use condoms not supplied by her (lest they be tampered with or out of date)...  but I have never had a lady refuse to use mine.  I place them on the bed side table and then excuse myself to use the bathroom & wash my hands giving her a chance to inspect them if she wants to.  I leave any remainder with her, do not carry them home...  
skb