M&G in advance. Or on video chat. Not just agreeing over text. Huge difference in her attitude if you have lunch together first. Unlike Herb, I don't want to wait to get laid. I will plan for a BCD right after if we hit it off. If she 'doesn't' have time I'm clear there is no allowance just for the M&G. Some girls are fine with that. Usually ones that are still unsure of whether they want to go through with it. I don't ever want a sex partner uncomfortable so I'm cool with feeling me out as well.
Side note, I'm going to remember your phone trick. Hopefully never have to use it.What do you do when a potential SB threatens to turn your private space into a crime scene?
I faced that situation twice. My technique de-escalated the situation each time. Here are the details on the last time.
She was a hot, mid-20s middle eastern chick in a city to which I often travel. She accepted my offer to meet at the fancy hotel bar before BCD. Via text we agreed to allowance and activities, provided we click first. We meet and she says she is cool to skip the bar and just go to the room. That's fine, since I have a bottle there on ice.
After ten minutes in my suite of listening to her actually talk, I knew my libido could not overcome her vacuousness, immaturity, self-centered-ness, neediness, and last-minute revelations about her "rules." I told her it was not going to work out and I offered her probably 2X her Uber cost.
She went nuts. Shouted that she needed "the money" and wouldn't leave without it. Really loud, like I bet the next-door hotel neighbors can hear something. I held my ground and opened the door with one hand while offering the 2X Uber money in the other. She wouldn't have it. She said she'd "toss this place." As a start, she picked up a tray containing a coffee maker and sundries and threw it to the floor, making a big mess. She demanded the full allowance we agreed upon because she needed the money and wasn't leaving without it.
I picked up the hotel phone, pressed some digit, and then said calmly into the receiver (something like), "Yes, thank you. I have an unwanted guest in room XXX and I would like you to send security here right away. Uh huh. Uh huh. Thank you, yes I'll stay right here." Click. Obviously, all of this was loud enough for her to hear.
That was all it took. She gathered her things and ran off speedily. She sure didn't want to talk to any hotel security. And she certainly didn't realize I was fabricating the entire phone convo with hotel security.
The other, earlier, incident was similar. But the bottom line is I've used a hotel phone to make a psycho chick back down, twice. And I'd love to hear how others have handled psycho chick moments.
Rockford
Good thinking on how to use the phone to get rid of her.
Too bad that many hotels no longer have room phones. No one uses them anymore.
Moral of the story to me: Don't skip the meet and greet.
First, you handled it rather well, of course. And I assume that it was effective because you booked a higher-end hotel. I can't imagine this ploy convincing her at a Holiday Inn, or Motel 6. I assume you realized her was throwing strong UTR hooker drama at you in the hope you would crumble in fear of her tantrum. And you flipped that script perfectly.
Do you think you could have picked up any deeper insight into her personality or other red flags if you continued to chat over drinks at the bar a bit longer?
I rarely ask for, or agree to go BCD on the M&G. Yes, it's extra time that may not be available if on travel. But I see value in using that time to see a full picture of how she arrives, conducts herself during, and then communicates after our first meeting. That means, I probably have a lower close-rate than you, Rock. But I also appear to have less (but certainly NOT zero!) drama in my BCD dates.
Thank you for sharing. I shall add the "fake call hotel security" tactic to my emergency toolbox.
Life is good
The Cat
You are right, HTC. It was not a low-end hotel, but was nice enough to have a hotel restaurant/bar and phones in the rooms. Fish is correct that hotels are phasing them out (long overdue but maybe required by some state laws?).
I have always thought of the standalone M&G as a waste of time I cannot afford, since I sugar when traveling. There may not be enough time to see her a second time for BCD before I have to leave town, and it never works to ask her to wait 1 or 2 weeks for that 2nd date.
But I may need to reconsider. I have viewed the M&G as her imposition on me, but perhaps I need to see it as my way to safeguard against a disastrous scenario, provided I can detect psycho chicks or hookers at the M&G.
You asked if I thought I might have detected red flags if we'd had that drink at the bar first. There's no way to know for sure, but the answer is somewhere between possibly and probably. With this particular chick, I'd say yes. I think I would have smelled the desperation before I finished a drink.
That's the kind of M&G I don't mind; grab a drink or a bite first when the plan is to spend the whole evening together, as long as we're both enthusiastic. I've ended many dates after the drink or meal because I just didn't see her as a compatible SB. But in this case -- with toss-the-joint girl -- I just got lazy. She showed me a red flag all right; she didn't need to vet me! I was lazy, thinking with the wrong head, and got some unpleasant drama.
Any other gents want to weigh in with advice or experience?
Rockford
M&G in advance. Or on video chat. Not just agreeing over text. Huge difference in her attitude if you have lunch together first. Unlike Herb, I don't want to wait to get laid. I will plan for a BCD right after if we hit it off. If she 'doesn't' have time I'm clear there is no allowance just for the M&G. Some girls are fine with that. Usually ones that are still unsure of whether they want to go through with it. I don't ever want a sex partner uncomfortable so I'm cool with feeling me out as well.
Side note, I'm going to remember your phone trick. Hopefully never have to use it.
I hope I can be as thoughtful as you if I am ever facing that situation. Glad you came out in one piece.
First, you handled that incredibly well. Kudos for quick and intelligent response. I learned something today, that hopefully I will never use.
Got robbed once (cash and dash), but never had to kick someone out.
I have made it a practice to agree to everything via text, and offer two options 1) M&G only 2) M&G + BCD if both comfortable. Out of 100+ unique BCD initial meetings, only two have chosen option 1 (no bcd on first meeting), which I generally prefer. Almost always a hotel bar meeting, and half of those have skipped the bar part (usually bc bar is closed).
Regarding no phone in hotel rooms, I have yet to encounter that 🤷♂️
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