64Y old...hadn't had any sex for a long time, then connected with an awesome provider..I found that shtupping with a condom on (which she required) really wasn't enjoyable for me...I felt virtually nothing. After a few minutes with the condom on my erection tamed a bit, so I slipped it off and enjoyed kissing and oral and CIM. Unfortunately, she dumped me after I shared with her that I sometimes have feelings of guilt after seeing her (lesson learned).
Just started in the sugar bowl and had my 1st BCD this week, and same thing. The condom just kills my desire for prolonged fucking. I recently connected with a POT SB who required a condom and no CIM thru oral. Based on reading here, I suppose my options are:1-Accept that my sexual enjoyment will be based on oral sex. While this may be fine for me, I suspect it may not satisfy some SBs. I'd then have a strong desire for CIM as an option which not all SB will provide.
2-Get snipped, find 1-2 regular SB and share test results regularly. This also seems rather unromantic, burdensome, and business-like.
3-Quit the bowl and go back to self-pleasure and abstinence.
4-Acquaint myself and POT SBs with use of the female condom (no experience) Ugh. My libido and desire for shtupping is strong, but the condom just kills it for me. Feeling discouraged. Guidance is appreciated.
These involve oil or other lubricants on various parts of a gal's body such as the buttocks, breasts, etc.
My favorite is between her thighs whereby the cock can slide against her labia so that she gets some excitement from the motion as well.
Give it a try. I'm seventy and agree that condoms do cut down a lot on the sensation, but I still look forward to sex using these methods.
Anther old standby is the hand job. When done by a real pro, it's an incredible way to come.
For me, regular tests (at least monthly) is a requirement before I even consider having sex with anyone. If I don't know my status, I have no business potentially exposing others. Yes, there is always risk - always. But I take steps to mitigate the risks as much as practical. Note that I said "practical," not "possible." I get tested at the same lab the adult video industry uses @ $155 for a full panel. I look at that as an $1,800 annual investment in safety.
Next, I got a prescription for PrEP. It's free through my health plan, and I need to do extra tests with them (oral and anal swab) every 90 days as well. Worth it as it makes it extremely unlikely that I can get or pass HIV.
Finally, I'm 61 and I got snipped 2 years ago.
All the above positions me to make any SB as comfortable as possible going bare. I too, cannot perform with a condom. Even with the help of pills, I just can't sustain when I can't feel anything.
So I make bareback part of the arrangement negotiations. I discuss all the above and ask her to share her test results with me, or get new ones to share. I even offer to pay for her ongoing test costs. If she's not comfortable without condoms I move on. If she asks for more money to go bare, I usually move on. (Met an amazing POT last year who was sexy, charming, a great conversationalist, liked to go out in public with her SD, was "presentable" to my close circle of friends as a real "girlfriend", but when we discussed condoms, her ask went from $400, to $1000. Sadly, I moved on.)
Is it "burdensome" as you suggest? At first, yes. But it's necessary to ensure mutual consent and satisfaction with the details of the arrangement. Once you have gone through a few cycles of BCD and sharing latest test results, it just a quick process to demonstrate both parties are living up to the agreement. It builds trust and helps keep her motivated to stick around.
Have I lost out on POT opportunities? Most definitely. But if I had to use a condom with those POT's I wouldn't have been happy anyway.
Look for me, this is a game of quality, not quantity. There are others here who want to increase their body count at logarithmic rates, and there's something to be said for bedding 50+ women in a 52-week year! You have to find what aspects of an arrangement are most important to you, then optimize your search and negotiation process to get as close to that as possible.
Life is good
The Cat
Try a female condom. Should feel like her skin to you.
All of the forgoing on this thread is valid and worth considering. Here's my $.02.
Condoms differ. Some really do eliminate most of the sensations we want. I find the best for me are Trojan Magnum Bareskins. Very thin. But if even those don't work for you, you may have to try the route suggested by Herb.
Personally, that route could not work for me. If I insisted on bareback only, I'd have no chance of going BCD with new SBs. Partly because I'm reluctant to do so, partly because I live in Pussy Siberia where the opportunities are already so few that if I eliminated the ones who insist on condom use I'd be left with zero.
I enjoy going bareback, of course. Right now I have 2 regular SBs I've been seeing for over 2 1/2 years. I go bareback with one of them. She and I have agreed that we will be bareback with each other exclusively, and if either of us does decide to go bareback with any other partner, we'll disclose that fact and probably revert to using condoms. Being "fluid bonded" with just one partner, who is on birth control, seems like an acceptable level of risk. I always use a condom with the other SB.
I get to compare the pleasure I feel with and without a condom with these 2 SBs. The initial pleasure of penetration, bareback, is amazing! But after a while of thrusting and trying several positions, the intensity of the sensation diminishes for me, regardless of whether I have a condom on or not. In fact, after the initial 5 or 10 minutes I can't really tell any difference.
I'm 76, and maintaining a hard erection is a challenge. I find that taking a half dose of Cialis 2 hours before showtime, plus a half dose of Viagra one hour before showtime, gives me excellent results. Then my ability to stay hard throughout the proceedings depends more on my mood and energy level than whether I'm wearing a condom or not. I don't know if this is useful info for anyone, but that's what works for me. Everyone's different!
What do you do for the side effects of Cialis or Viagra? They give me a massive headache and heartburn?
I'm sorry to hear that my friend. I guess I've been lucky. My side effects are very mild. When I take a full dose of Viagra I feel flushed and get nasal congestion. So I use a few shots of Afrin and I'm good to go. With Cialis I never notice any side effects at all.
Drug effects can be cumulative. I take a Tamsulosin pill every night. If I take ED meds the next day, I often feel very light headed, dizzy. One time I nearly passed out when I stood up to get out of bed with a very lovely partner who had given me a major workout! My doctor says it's because of the ED meds on top of the Tamsulosin, so don't take the Tamsulosin if I'm gonna have a date the next day. Which is what I do now and have no problems with dizzyness. But I never experienced headaches or heartburn. Talk to your doc about it, there may be a simple answer. Good luck!
Several years ago I got what felt like heartburn at random times (nothing to do with viagra.) I accidently discovered that eating salted popcorn would relieve the feeling. Then I read that drinking salt water helps some people. I tried that and it worked. I don't know what that ever was, but eventually I didn't get that heartburn feeling anymore. Anyhow, drinking a glass of saltwater is pretty safe, see if it helps.
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As for headaches, yeah, but maybe aspirin or advil would help. Viagra can give me what feels like tension ache (I think headaches are actually muscle aches of the neck etc.) Never strong enough that I'd need advil, so I don't know how good that would work. Viagra can also give me muscle aches the days after.
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I haven't really noticed much with Cialis. Maybe a slight head tension. I don't think Cialis gives me as strong an erection as Viagra, though.
I met a provider in Vegas, who became my regular provider. My first time meeting, I realized her condom felt much better than the other condoms I’ve used in the past, so I inquired about why. She explained that the other conforms are too tight especially around the head, so it’s difficult for the blood to flow through the erection. She used Magnum Gold on me. I’m normal size, but it fit just right. Magnum Gold is tapered, so it is smaller around the lower portion of your cock, yet not loose on the shaft and head ( just right). Hope this helps.
I’ve actually set up arrangements based on just oral fun. No condoms required. I’ve found the girls like it too. They do enjoy my talents that way and they know what to expect. They know CIM is coming, and sometimes a couple shots. This means I can be like Bill Clinton and have claim no sex happened. I will say if it’s more than oral condoms are used and I like the Skin brand. I still get feeling at 63.