I know this subject has been raised before(sorry about the pun..I swear I didnt mean it).
but do you have any suggestions for a cure. My situation, like other guys who have brought upthe subject, is I have no problem getting or keeping erections until the moment of truth comes and the condom is offered.
Then, with the one exception being with my ATF, I lose it, though I continue to have a strong desire for climax(whether hard or not!)
I have no other problems but this is a major frustration. It was suggested I jack off with a condom at home. Well, that was sure sucsessful but it didnt carry over to the real event.  
Your insight and perception here would be gratefully appreciated LG, maybe almost as much for my companions as for me. lol

That is the sad truth of them, but they are a necessity for obvious reasons.

Here's how I get around it:  I find other ways to enjoy sex without penetration:

There's French, Russian and Italian, and I'm not refering to salad dressings.

And don't forget about the good old hand job:  The hand and fingers make for a pretty erotic coupling of body parts when you think about it.

So you just have to find other options that work.  I can go for a few minutes with a condom but I can't even remember the last time I ejaculated into one and after a few minutes I start to lose sensation. Penetration is only one item on the menu with me and my ATF (she hates condoms as well). Mutual oral, DATY (I'm hard as a rock during this), BBBJ and some  toe, ass, boob and nipple licking keep things interesting as she strokes and sucks Mr. happy. I probably only have a condom on for about five to ten minutes of what is generally about a 45 to 60 minute session of passionate sex. The orgasm that I have at the end of this is better than anything I had when I was younger through penetration either with or without a condom.

When life gives you lemons...

You may want to experiment with types of condoms. I am thick and uncut, and need a magnum, but many ladies try to put a smaller one on me - does not work. I often bring my own to sessions - magnum extra sensitive types. If you're uncut you may also need your foreskin lubed so that it can move inside the condom. Even if you are not uncut, lubing the glans before the condom goes on enhances sensitivity. In the end, I use condoms only for P-V sex and see providers that do not require condoms for other activities. If a fav provider does not do BBBJ I opt for HJ with lots of good old fashioned spit. Good luck -

Hej du, Sswede,

My insight is that condoms don't seem to work for some people. They can't get over that barrier, pun intended. Dunno what it is...habituation to uncovered sex in the pre-HIV era...circumcized penis with less sensitivity, latex sensitivity, sensitivity to something squeezing your penis...mental block...zillions of things.

See the other posters who have contributed with very good comments. And of course, the more that is made out of this issue, the more pressure you will put on yourself to succeed.

One way of dealing with this is to get the thinnest condom possible and have your ATF give you a handjob with the condom on. Start out WITH the condom on, then see how far it goes. If you lose it, rip off the condom and continue the HJ. Keep practicing with the ATF until you get results. Should be a fun pseudo-science project at any rate.

On some level it is a habituation issue, e.g. my 17-year-old godchild who has never done anything uncovered. Apparently responsible members of his generation never do anything uncovered, so they don't know what it feels like unless it's a handjob or the like. He even got his first BJ covered [I guess safe sex ed works really well in his fancy prepschool]. I once frivolously suggested that a BBBJ from one of those "good gals" might be fun, only to be met with wrinkled brows and a quizzical look. I guess the only time he'll ever have "unsafe sex" is when he's ready to procreate. So for the younger set, apparently condoms are it.

Believe it or not, I feel your pain,
the Love Goddess

Your Godson seems to be smarter than most.

When I was younger I had no issues with the condom. I don't know how old the OP is here but I know that, in my case, the onset of health based ED issues has a lot to do with my problems with condoms.

Also, LG mentioned "practicing with the ATF". I know that many think the hobby is all about variety but, to be honest, anyone who has "issues" of any sort to deal with will be much better served by finding and cultivating a regular ATF relationship with an understanding and patient provider or two. I have been very lucky to find a couple of truly amazing women, both in their mid 30's, who are patient and very in tune to my particular issues. Both absolutely love giving and getting oral and have about as much patience with rubber inside of them as I do with wearing it. We have penetrative sex but we are pretty much on the same page about when it's OK to move on to other activities. Both are very generous with their time and love being treated well by a guy who is truly appreciative of their efforts. Sex is always better when two like minded people are involved.



-- Modified on 8/2/2008 5:29:34 AM

-- Modified on 11/15/2008 10:42:36 AM

I know this has been discussed before, but might not a female condom solve some of this? I am wondering why more providers don't offer then?

Ive read some really good things about it too and would be interested in trying it. So if anyone in the DC area wants to offer give me a call lol
On the comdom issue in general, a provider told me once about 25% of her clients cant maintain an erection with a condom. She was very sucessful and I seriously doubt it was a shortcoming on her part... which leads me to think Wow! this is more serious than I thought and not just a problem for me and few other losers.
And LG says she feels my pain... and she was my last hope!! lol
Anyways, I think Im going to be straight up with my next partner and just tell her. Couldnt hurt and she may just take the pressure off. I'll get back to you if this stategy works. You never know.

I was with a provider in Minnesota who did something I had never experienced before.

She had some sort of mild warming gel.  She put that on me and then put on the cover.  She put some on the cover and we went at it.

What a sensation.  Everything was so warm and juicy - for both of us.  What a wild time it was.

Trouble is I can's seem to find any of that gel back here in DC.

If you can find some and your provider agrees to use it I think you will find the results enjoyable.

Just make sure it is not superhot get.  That can actually hurt.

-- Modified on 8/6/2008 3:48:00 PM

of the warming gels I've tried, but I haven't tried this new product.  Plus, everyone is different.  I keep hearing people recommend condoms that I thought were terrible, so to each his own.