I have seen a provider a number of times,  Most have been multi-hour or overnight sessions.  She is a very sensual provider and she responds to all my requests - nothing extreme, she does what I want when I want it.  We are taking a 3-4 day trip together; I am paying for the trip but she's not receiving a donation for her time.  Can I expect a change in our sexual activities now that she's not on the "payroll"?  I know we need to discuss it before we get into the trip, but how does one approach the subject since the rolls are not as well defined as it is when it's a provider/hobbyist situation?

Dear nojuanspecial,

Since the provider in question is not here, there is no way to ask her if you can expect a change in sexual activities. You will just have to experience whatever comes your way, since she is not receiving a donation for her time. On the other hand, I'm assuming she is aware of this fact and still has agreed to the trip.

My opinion - and this is just an OPINION, folks - is that if you are not paying her, then you should not discuss this at all. The minute you stop paying for her time - and mind you, paying for someone's TRIP is not paying for someone's TIME -  you have opened up the boundaries set for commercial sexual transactions.

To me, it's quite simple: If you want a guaranteed performance, then pay and go along with the established rules of engagement. If you want to spend 3-4 days with someone on a trip, whether it be your girlfriend, your roommate or your parent, you should not discuss what her anticipated behavior might be, unless she has some kind of mental disorder that might cause problems. At this stage of the game, you have INVITED her to come along. As the host, you don't pressure your guest.

Noblesse oblige,
The Love Goddess

So I would not assume that you are going to get any...

Are you courting her romantically?

If not, does she understand this?

Sound to me like recipe for a disasterous miscomminication.

The trip is to attend a special event that we have a mutual interest in.  The purpose of my post is to avoid a disastrous miscommunication.  Our discussions to date have only been to agree to attend the event together.

expect it according to civie dating rules.  Enjoy your  major boundary crossing and may it not break your heart.

just go, have fun and see where it leads.  My guess is that it will work out if you don't put to much thought into it and just go with the flo.

If you are expecting sex you should discuss it beforehand.  I don't know your relationship, but she is giving up 3 or 4 days away from work and income.  My bet is she is expecting more money no matter what the trip costs.