Hey there folks.

I'm a late 30s guy, looking for a little bit of affection and attention that isn't to be found in my otherwise great home. I didn't really have anyone to discuss it with and had no idea how common it was. Then I found this place.

I have to give a big hearty "Thank You"! I've read this entire forum and learned the answers to many questions I've been wondering for years. Even if I've never met you, now I am far from alone. The wisdom shared by the Love Goddess, along with posters like mrfisher, Bostonguy57, foodcritic, G2, channelguy, etc. is amazing. In one case, I've had PM and e-mail correspondence of a hugely helpful and personal nature.

So, while I don't have a specific question right now, I thought it appropriate to publicly say hi and express my appreciation for this tiny little niche of kindred spirits I'd found.

Congratulations, you've found the most informative board on TER, and the only one that offers more than just opinions.

Sexual understanding has always suffered by the mostly anecdotal way in which information was dispersed- from locker room bragging, to girlfriends gossiping, it may have been titillating, but it was rarely accurate.  In fact, it was usually so inaccurate, that we now know that millions of otherwise normal people believed they were somehow abnormal or inadequate in either their physiology, desires, or experiences.  Worse yet, they usually suffered these feelings alone and in silence.

I guess it's fair to give Kinsey credit for countering this trend by bringing sex out of the shadows and applying scientific methodology to the subject.  Now, it's hard to imagine that as recently as the 1950's/early 1960's, people just didn't openly talk about sexual issues in public.

Closer to home, TER is a wonderful forum to bring like-minded people together.  But prior to the Love Goddess arriving, it was really just a high-tech way to spread the same anecdotal information- a more efficient locker room, as it were.  And just like in the locker room, many people were intimidated or embarrassed by the format of the other discussion boards and the potential to be criticized or look foolish.

So in effect, LG has been our "Kinsey," reminding people that while individual experience and opinions are important, it's not valid to project them onto the larger population.  And anecdotal information, while perhaps interesting, isn't the same as scientific research, no matter how much you believe it to be true.  

In the process, she fills in all the blanks with professional expertise and good humor AND she doesn't even charge!  What more could you ask for?  

 

-- Modified on 5/20/2008 6:30:29 PM

Please Santa...please, please...leave me a woman in my stocking JUST like LG!

Maybe some day.

-- Modified on 5/20/2008 11:37:42 PM

Mrfisher and Bostonguy57 have my vote for posters I most like to buy a beer if I am in their city.  

After my first experience in France, I thought long and hard before really jumping into this endeavor.  I know and understand your struggle and hope it all works out well for you R70.

I keep hoping that you will work on those personal goals and that somehow, some way, it will renew what is lacking at home.  I guess I am just hoping that you can manage what I have not been able too.

I'm working on my share, with good progress. Some might even say too good, as they won't take as long as I once thought. Time to add/extend goals, perhaps.

I broached a number of the other issues (again) with the SO a while ago, and the results were far from encouraging. Basically, it came down to "No, I don't think counseling will help, but you go try it if you want. Men and women just don't want the same things, or the same amount, so just get used to it."

Great. So much for compromise, or willingness to work as a team to try to address the issues in a productive way. I have no idea why physical relations/intimacy prove the exception to an otherwise well-functioning team. But I'm still trying.

Thanks for the feedback and support.